What did the walnut say to the hazelnut when playing tag?

You better run or I’m going to cashew!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/radrunningwild
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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Playing β€œtag” in the Addams Family must be very confusing if your cousin’s there...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jnolife
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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What did one nut say to the other nut, while playing tag?

Ima cashew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BibleMain
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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What did April say when playing tag in the laundry room?

May tag. You are it.


Am a dad but never had an original thought before this so here's my first submission.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyrax6
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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Germans are so childish, they always play with their food.

They play Gluten Tag.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DBTheNerd
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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My taco cat ran away...

now I'm playing gato tag.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laringar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2016
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Studying for my MCAT when I came across this passage in Verbal.

I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]

Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, β€œA pun is the lowest form of wit,” a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.

Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, β€œIt is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.” Oscar Levant has added a tag line: β€œA pun is the lowest form of humorβ€”when you don’t think of it first.” John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: β€œ...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.”

Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, β€œTo trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... ”

Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and tho’ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.

Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesn’t mean that the punnery isn’t fu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zil2mz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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Asking Dad for money.

My dad and I are playing phone tag one day. I need to talk to him about money for text books. I finally send him a text that says, "You'll never guess why I'm calling! (Hint: $$$$)" and he replies, "I don't need that much right now. Just send a blank check and I'll take it from there."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peebdream
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2013
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What did one nut say to the other while playing tag?

I’m gonna cashew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ewilsey
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
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What did one nut say to the other while playing tag?

Imma cashew!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/isupposesomething
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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