A list of puns related to "Place To Eat"
The table of contents
I don't know, but you can bet it's not a steak joint.
-And you thought I was going to say a calf-eteria!
that's shellfish."
An Allah snack bar
Just for the Halibut
"Notable" I said.
The habit
Wendy's
5 Eyes Boogers and Flies!
He said, "Should we try the Paradox Grille?"
"No," I replied. "I would rather eat at the Two Doctors Grille."
Paid him back after all of these years!!!
Burglar King. Where do they go for dessert? Baskin Robbins
Me: "What about this shopping center? Its got a Waffle House, a sushi place, a burger place and a Verizon wireless. "
Wife: "What would we get at the Verizon store? "
Me: "Not alot. They charge by the byte."
Groans were had, but I couldn't stop smiling for the rest of lunch.
I said, a table is an excellent place to eat.
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
For context, my dad had a leg amputation a few months back but heโs been in mostly good spirits about it. We were talking about places to eat in our area, and he asked where one of the fast food restaurants was around here, so I said โItโs at the intersection, where the IHOP is.โ
Dad replied, โOh, thatโs my favorite place to get breakfast.โ
I never got food with my dad at IHOP before so I was confused, but then it dawned on me what he meant. ๐
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevorโs love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevorsโs degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevorโs front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasnโt keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
โWellโ said Jeff, โAs Iโm sure you know the convention comes to town laterโ.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
โYes of courseโ replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit โกA panda walks into a bar one day. He casually walks to the bar and sits on a bar stool.
The bartender thinks this is a bit odd, a panda walking into a bar isnโt something that normally happens to him.
He approaches the panda regardless and asks, โWhat can I get you?โ
The panda grabs a menu off the bar, opens it and points to a cheeseburger.
The bartender is very impressed by this and so he decides to go ahead and make the cheeseburger for the panda.
The panda gets his cheeseburger, devours it, savoring every last bit. He then wipes its mouth with a napkin, impressing the bartender even more.
But then suddenly the panda pulls out a gun and shoots everyone in the bar, except for the bartender.
The bartender stands there in total shock, soaked in blood, and can only ask the panda, โWhy?โ
The panda pulls a dictionary from his fur coat and turns to the bartender. He flips the book to the P section, places it on the bar, and points to his picture. Then he turns and walks out the door without looking back.
The bartender leans down and reads the entry next to Panda. It saysโฆ
โPanda: A wild animal that eats, shoots and leaves.โ
Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal? Because he would have to convert.
Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!
Why was the math book depressed? It had a lot of problems.
Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Because it is never right.
Why can you never trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? Heย must be plotting something.
Why was the equal sign so humble? Because she knew she wasnโt greater than or less than anyone else.
What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date? The odd couple
What do you call a number that canโt stay in one place? A Roaminโ numeral.
Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably.
What do you call dudes who love math? Algebros.
Iโll do algebra, Iโll do trig. Iโll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!
Why should you never talk to Pi? Because sheโll go on and on and on forever.
Why are parallel lines so tragic if they have so much in common? Itโs a shame theyโll never meet.
Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula.
Whatโs the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Use acute angle.
Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? Theyโd stop at nothing to avoid them.
How do you stay warm in any room? Just huddle in the corner, where itโs always 90 degrees.
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight ("ate") nine!
Why DID seven eat nine? Because youโre supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there is no point.
They go back and forth for a while, neither convincing the other that they are right. Finally they decide on a place to eat. When they get to the restaurant, one of the friends asks the person taking their order to settle it once and for all. "Me and my friend are having a debate and hopefully since you live here, you can set my friend straight. Would you please tell us... and say it clear and slow for my friend here... where are we?"
The person behind the counter gets a puzzled look on his face, then says
>!"Buuuuuurrrrrr gerrrrrr Kiiiiiiinnnnggg"!<
A Southern minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol -Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke -Dead
Third worm in chocolate syrup -Dead
Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation - What can you learn from this demonstration?
Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,
'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!'
That pretty much ended the service.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I donโt think theyโll fit me.
Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but donโt turn it on.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโs a little fishy.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
โEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, โThe good news is..itโll feel better when it quits hurting.'โ
Whatโs brown and sticky? A stick.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโs tearable.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
โIโll call you later!โ- โPlease donโt do that. Iโve always asked you to call me Dad!โ
Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!
What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.
โMy dad literally told me this one last week: โDid you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.โโ
โWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, โNo, just leave it in the carton!โโ
I got so angry the other day when I couldnโt find my stress ball.
If I had a dime for every book Iโve ever read, Iโd say: โWow, thatโs coincidental.โ
Iโm not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
How does a penguin build itโs house? Igloos it together.
โMe: โDad, make me a sandwich!โ Dad: โPoof, Youโre a sandwich!โโ
โI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
โHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? Theyโre all girls, otherwise theyโd be uncles.โ
Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth โ its pasteurized before you even see it
โWhatโs Forrest Gumpโs password? 1forrest1โ
The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.
I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: โDonโt worry; this is a piece of cake.โ I said: โNo, itโs a math problem.โ
I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.
I donโt play soccer because I enjoy the sport. Iโm just doing it for kicks.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
... keep reading on reddit โกOnce upon a time there were three little pigs, Pork Chop, Hambone, and Bacon.
The boys lived at home with their mother. One day their mother said, โI no longer have enough food to feed you boys, you need to go out on your own and find your fortunes.โ
Not wanting to upset their mother they left the house together to seek their fortunes.
Several miles into their journey Bacon, the little pig everyone liked best, said, โLetโs build our houses here! This seems like a great place to start making our fortunes.โ
Pork Chop and Hambone agreed. So they all began building their houses.
Pork Chop, the laziest of the bunch, decided to build his house out of straw, which he apparently stole from a nearby field. It was not a very sturdy building material, but Pork Chop didnโt care. All he wanted to do was play all day, and he didnโt want to spend too much time building.
Hambone was willing to work a bit harder and he decided to build his house out of sticks which he procured by de-limbing every tree within a 300 meter radius of their homestead.
Hambone and Pork Chop were happy. Now all they had to do was to play and sleep the rest of the day.
Now Bacon was a hard worker. He knew that his brothers had used bad materials and shoddy construction methods and he wanted to build the best house he could. He found several tons of bricks stacked in neatly ordered pallets in the forest which he decided to use for his building material. It took him several days, but when he was done Bacon had the best house on the homestead.
The next day a wolf, Scott Howard, happened upon the pig brothers and their new homestead. He spied the straw house and smelled Pork Chop inside and began to think to himself that Pork Chop would make a mighty fine meal, so Scott went and knocked on the door.
Scott said, โLittle Pig! Little Pig! Let me in!โ
Pork Chop replied, โNo way Josรฉ! Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!โ
Scott, undeterred by the reply says, โThen Iโll huff, and Iโll puff, and Iโll blow your crappy straw house to the ground!โ
Scott began to huff and puff. He was evidently having some sort of asthma attack, but after a few tugs from his handy dandy rescue inhaler, he was able to muster enough wind to blow Pork Chops straw house to the ground.
Pork Chop narrowly escaped Scottโs massive jaws. Scared, and now homeless, Pork Chop ran for the nearest shelter he could see. Hamboneโs house.
Scott, undeterred, chased Pork Chop to his new hiding place. Scott was very pleas
... keep reading on reddit โกI had a conversation with my friend Grace (11yr) today.
G: EGOfoodie, what are you going to eat on your flight to Minnesota. Me: thinks about it Well... G: A plane bagel?
This kid is going places.
While choosing a frozen vegetable to eat with dinner I handed my oldest a bag of peas to place in the cart. He looked at them reluctantly. I asked if they wanted to pick something different. After neither boy answered me I said, "speak now or forever hold your peas."
Both sons AND a nearby stranger gave eye rolls!
EDIT: I've never been to the front page before. Thanks for all the love fellow dad jokers!
If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?
I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.
If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?
China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.
I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?
I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.
I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.
I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"
I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".
If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?
If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?
My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.
I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.
Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.
Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.
You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"
A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p
... keep reading on reddit โกwhen he saw two pathetic-looking men by the side of the road, eating grass. He ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked the men, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have no money for food," the first man replied.
"Then you must come with me to my house," insisted the lawyer.
"But, sir, I got a wife and three kids here," said the man.
"Bring them along!" replied the lawyer.
The second man exclaimed, "I got a wife and six kids!"
"Bring them as well!", the lawyer proclaimed as he headed back to his limo.
They all climbed into the car, and once underway, one of the men expresses, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "I'm most happy to do it. You'll love my place. The grass is almost a foot tall."
Need some pun help
Girl is a nurse who wants to try 27 spicy food places before you die. Not Tinder
My best so far:
You pepper believe that eating at all those places will turn you from nurse to fulltime patient. You don't even get atrophy when you're through
It's ehhhhh And seems insulting.
Boyfriend and I went to Portillo's (Italian Beef sandwich place in Chicago) and ordered sammies.
While we were eating, I started a story with the phrase, "so, I kind of have a beef with..."
He pauses, looks down at my now-empty sandwich wrapper and responds with,
"well, you had a beef..."
Also, I've stopped asking him to call my phone when I misplace it because I'm tired of the "what do you want me to call it?" response.
Boy and I have been together for...8 months or so, dad-jokes only got super frequent recently - men of /r/dadjokes - is this a condition that occurs after several months of dating? Please help.
:)
A dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.
He has his food prepared for him.
He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365.
His meals are provided at no cost to him.
By the way he does not need to pay for medical insurance.
He visits the doctor once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this he pays nothing and nothing is required of him.
He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.
If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.
He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.
He receives these accommodations absolutely free.
He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.
All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head.......
..
..
..
..
A dog is like a โPOLITICIANโ
How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
Whereโs the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history โ with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
If it werenโt for C, weโd all be programming in BASI and OBOL.
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who donโt.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway.
An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks โmay I join you?โ
Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraftโฆ and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Itโs a hardware problem.
I named my hard drive โdat assโ so once a month my computer asks if I want to โback dat ass upโ.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as sheโs been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
I changed my password to โincorrectโ. So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say โYour password is incorrectโ.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Itโs ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didnโt know who he was.
I would like to thank everybody that stuck by my side for those five long minutes my house didnโt have internet.
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
Are you a computer whiz? it seems you know how to turn my software to hardwar
... keep reading on reddit โกMy Dad was the worst. And by that, I mean the best. He had a Dad Joke for everything.
I accidently left my wallet in my pants and they went through the wash?
"Don't you know it's illegal to launder money?" He would crack.
We would drive by the cemetery and he would always remark.
"That place is so popular, people are dying to get in"
Many groans were had.
I would ask him, "Dad, where do you get all these awful jokes?" and he looked square in the eye and said.
"Son, on the day you were born - your Grandfather - my father gave me a book. '1001 Dad Jokes' and that where I get them from"
And life continued. Any opportunity to crack wise he would take it. Even when I moved out and got my own place it didn't stop. I had my Dad over to help me repaint the walls from cream to white.
"Boy" He whistled. "This wall sure pales in comparison to that one"
My eyes rolled and he just shrugged. "It's the book!"
He couldn't even help himself at my wedding and broke out a Dad Joke during the toast.
"If this is the toast, where are the eggs?"
"Sorry son, it's the book!" He said with a devilish grin.
So months pass and my wife is in labor at the hospital with our first child. I'm sitting in the waiting room with my dad for support. Suddenly, a nurse comes out beaming with glee.
"Congratulations, sir! It's a girl!"
Me and my dad jump up and whoop for joy, hugging. I can't wait to go in and see my wife and child.
"Wait son" My dad says and pulls a little book out of his jacket pocket. "This is for you"
I look at the little book and sure enough, it's "1001 Dad Jokes"
I tear up instantly.
"I...I.." I stammer.."I'm touched.."
My dad gets the world's biggest shit-eating grin on his face.
"Hi touched...." He pauses for effect.
"I'm Dad"
I saw a white, fluffy thing swinging through my local cake shop. Suspect it was a meringue-utang.
I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, โDo you want a liftโ. โNo thanksโ, they replied, โWeโre Walkersโ.
I was in a cake shop the other day, they were all ยฃ5 apart from one that was ยฃ10. I asked why it was so expensive, the shop owner said โthatโs maderia cakeโ.
Bought some cream, it said โstore in a cool placeโ. So I left it in the Doctor Who studios.
Local ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
I used to love doughnuts, but I got bored of the whole thing.
A man says โI keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the otherโ. The doctor says โIโm afraid you are a trifle deafโ.
I bought a waffle iron the other day. Get really annoyed with wrinkled waffles.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden
What do they call a man who abandoned his diet? DESSERTER.
Ice cream is exquisiteโฆ โwhat a pity it isnโt illegal.
The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the calories.
Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adamโs banana.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because itโs too hard to put them on the bottom!
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When itโs been sliced.
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
A birthday greeting: For someone special as you, only ANGELFOOD would do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Did you hear there are two suspects in Two Ton Charleyโs death? BEN and JERRY.
Donโt eat too much fudge, or else you will have so much pudge you wonโt be able to budge.
You know youโre a mom ifโฆ Popsicles have become a staple food.
Mexican candy makes my taste buds say โOLE!โ
FORGET LOVEโฆ Iโ
... keep reading on reddit โกThis is the exact interaction that took place:
Dad: I have a joke for you
Me: Aight.
Dad: When someone expresses an annoying opinion ask them...
Me: Go on. Im enthralled.
Dad: Deer eat grass, cows eat grass
Dad: Horses eat grass
Dad: Ask: why is deer poop like raisins but cow poop look like paddies and horse look like apple plop
Dad: He or she will say I do not know
Dad: R u ready for punchline?
Me: I was born ready.
Dad: Ok then...
Dad: U say, why do I care what u say when you don't know shit!
Me: I see you learned to text message.
We went out to eat at a Cuban place and my mother had ordered some food with a side of tostones (a plantain dish). She complained that they had too much garlic to which I made a joke:
"Yeah, as soon as you bit into it, you tatsed the garlic and were like , 'ยกAjo!'"
(ยกAjo! is a Spanish exclamatory similar to "ooooooh" or "oh my goodnes." It doesn't have a direct English equivalent but that's what it means. The Spanish word for garlic also happens to be ajo, so I made a pun playing off the dual meaning of the word. Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. )
We were eating at a pizza place and there were several size options and the options for the pizza sizes were 10", 20", and 26". My girlfriend wanting to know how many people a certain pizza size would feed and so she asks, "How big is a 10" pizza?" To which my friend and I in unison answer, "About 10 inches."
My girlfriend is at the beach with her family this week and we've been texting like we always have. She interupts whatever the conversation is to say, "Hey, we're going to dinner in a bit so I might stop replying." I asked her where she was eating and she said "Tacky Jack's", which I had never heard of. She then explained, "It's a good place to get beach food." And I quickly replied, "Do they have any good sand-wiches?"
She didn't reply after that. Hopefully just because she's eating.
ARRRRRRrrrrrrrrrby's
My girlfriend and I were walking out of a fast food place after eating, on the way back to our car I was walking along a curb with my arms out like a tightrope walker. She looked at me and said "must have been a well balanced meal."
I think she's the one.
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