Pistachios Puns

That's just nuts!

Under a buck

He was a-salted.

Even Mother Nature is participating in No Nut November.

but that's just me in a nutshell.

You're a nut case.

In a nutshell

We all know that pokemon evolve after being trained for a while. There is a little known fact that some Pokémon evolve into different Pokémon based on how you raise them.

For example,did you know if you raise a pikachu badly it evolves into a nasty little Pokémon called pissed-at-chu!!

I also have great luck with pistachios, cashews and almonds.

I was about to try a diet of almonds, pecans, cashews, and pistachios. Once I told my doctor, he told me to try a diet that wasn't completely nuts.

He's really pistachio

We were watching Cars 2. In this movie, there is a scene where one of the characters, 'Mater' (a happy go lucky 'southern' towtruck) eats a bunch of wasabi thinking it's pistachio icecream. My 3 year old turns to me and says " hehe, he ate spice-cream" then burst out laughing.

His name was Pistachio

My wife texted me saying "we've been nuts all day", as in busy. I asked her "what kind?" And then proceeded to rattle off her co-workers names paired with nuts of the same letter, eg: Cashew Crissy, Pistachio Patty.

Then I laughed like an idiot for 5 minutes.

Him: "Nah, I'm not getting sick. It's all in the head. Like allergies. I used to be allergic to pistachios, but now I'm not!" starts eating some pistachios

Me: "Did you really used to be allergic to them?"

Him: "No, of course not. That would be nuts!"

Wow, these pistachios are nuts!

me:"I'm at a loss for words today... what's the word when someone gets stabbed or shot or something?"

dad:"Violence."

me:" Dad. Violence is never the answer."

he almost choked on the pistachio muffin he was eating.

So my girlfriend and family and i are sitting around a campfire and around the circle my dad is passing around a bag of nuts and pistachios and my dad says to us: "anyone want my nut sack?" And just laughs to himself.

Wtf dad