Penn’s mom had three sisters who owned a pie shop...

Their menu was titled β€œThe Pie Rates of Penn’s Aunts”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Penn & Teller
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/treesmithmusic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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It used to be called Swordsylvania, but the mightier Penns took over and renamed it Pennsylvania.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gullies
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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Penn's mother's sister had a pie shop. The menu was simply called "The pie rates of Penn's aunt."
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ro_Yo_Mi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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there’s an impasta among us
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lovejimin95
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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A penne for your thoughts?
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZaBaronDV
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What antibiotic does a sick Italian take?

Penne-cillin.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bunion_ring
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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If you have something urgent to say to your magician friend who you can only communicate with via mail...

You better use a Penn & Teller

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rustyironbuckets
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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Good ol’ Penne
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATMiceli
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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When there was a rotini in a pack of penne pasta
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lmaotagurfrends
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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This pun is magical
πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supertoasty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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Spagyeti
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matty_Boi2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
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If you guys are gonna tell a joke, tell the whole thing. Did you hear about the Italian chef?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I feel horrible, he just ran out of thyme.

I am sending olive my love to his friends. His wife is really upset too. Cheese crying. He died fusilli reasons. I never sausage a tragic situation.

it was a farfalle from grace.

Edit: Whoa! Woke up to so many upvotes! Thank you!

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alftrazign
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
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What did Forrest Gump say in the Italian restaurant?

I love you Penne.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mearebachmusic
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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What did the penne say to the macaroni?

Hey! Watch your elbow.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bravesaint
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2015
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For your thoughts?
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/siphodeus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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The price of Pie ( x-post from /r/ScottishPeopleTwitter)
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the cheapest pasta?

Penne

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flowbombahh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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The First Bank of Magic Only Needs Two Things to Operate it's Banks:

A Penn and a Teller.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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My sister bet me Β£15 that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti

You should of seen the look on her face as i drove pasta

πŸ‘︎ 268
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xXDarkSwordsXx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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You know what they call a pasta fortress

In-penne-trable

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Itz_Splash
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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What do you call an Italian prison?

A Penne-tentury.

(did I do that right?)

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mi4l
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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What's Forrest Gump's favorite type of pasta?

Penn-ay

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrT1ddl3s_II
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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Bank Robber: Where's the Safe?!

Teller:
Bank Robber: I SAID WHERE'S THE SAFE?
Teller:
Bank Robber: ANSWER ME!
Penn: He always does this

πŸ‘︎ 176
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πŸ‘€︎ u/footprintx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a 1 cent coin in Italy?

A penne

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drmarvel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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I'm Going to Host a Boat Race

The winner will get pasta. It will be called the Penne Regatta

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrgfactoftheday
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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Why was the Italian chef locked out of his restaurant?

Because he had gnocchi.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clelwell
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
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Why is Ziti such a cheap meal?

It only costs a penne

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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I write to someone about our mutual love for pasta

He's my penne pal.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm told pasta makes you gain weight

But I'm in for a penne so I'm in for a pound

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rhedkiex
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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I gave valuable customer feedback to an Olive Garden in exchange for a gift card

In return I received a pasta dish.

For the first time in my life, I actually received a Penne for my thoughts

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/muncie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
what do you tip Italian chefs?

A Penne Each

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cutiefuzzy2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a greedy Italian?

A penne pincher

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bill_Franklyn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Which is the cheapest type of pasta?

Penne-y

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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Brainstorming food/movie theme nights. It es-kale-lated quickly. Only thing in my Bumble profile now.

When Harry Met Salad

What About Ke-Bob

Cumin to America

Weekend at Bearneaise II

Steakin I, II, & III

A Few Good Salmon

You’ve Got Kale

Shawshank Re-Dim Sum

Romancing the Scone

An Γ‰clair to Remember

Roman Hollandaise

Glazed and Confused

Bill & Ted’s Eggcellent Adventure

The Evil Bread

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Shrimp

Fondue the Right Thing

Ribeyes Wide Shut

Mignons

Plante of the Grapes

Spider Manchu

Sushis All That

A Wok to Remember

Marsala-la Land

Apocalypse Cow

Die Chard

Die Chard with a Vinaigrette

Hogan’s Gyros

The Sand Latkes

A League of their Macaroni

Revenge of the Curds

Rush S’More

Braising Arizona

Demolition Ham

10 Things I hate About Ewe

Saladin

Oliver and Com-penne

Dirty Rotten Chanterelles

Sex and the Satay

The Truth About Cats & Hotdogs

Morella Enchanted

Provolone Together

Clear and Pheasant Danger

The Big Chili

LΓ©mon: The Professional

Ava-Tartare

Hocous Pocous

High Fi-Deli Meat

Madagascargot

The Fifth Elementos

Muensters Inc.

There’s Something About Rosemary

I Am Ham

Quiche Lorraine Man

Barley & Me

Lentil Giants

Peggy SoufflΓ© Got Married

Face Stroganoff

Con GruyΓ©re

Fast Times at Porridgemont High

Bok Choys in the Hood

Papillonion

Requinoa for a Dream

Serial Cardamom

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kat_fogg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s Forest Gump’s favorite kind of pasta?

Penne

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abuchunk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of pasta does Forrest Gump like best?

Penne

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VomitingPotato
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Fake Noodle

🍝An Impasta! 🍝

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DigimonFan120
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my job at the pasta factory

I made a fusilli mistakes

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ropach
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2015
🚨︎ report
I went to a pasta restaurant

Under the sign saying the name of the restaurant it said β€œvery cheap pasta.” When the waiter came to take my order I asked him: How cheap exactly is your pasta He answered: just as cheap as any other pasta Very confused I asked him to rephrase and he answered :just as cheap as any other pasta Still quite perplexed I asked him to give me an example.

He then told me: just as expensive as a penne.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/santaman33
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that Italian chef that died?

He pasta way

πŸ‘︎ 118
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Akkiruk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2016
🚨︎ report
What's Forrest Gumps favorite pasta?

Penne

πŸ‘︎ 427
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NorseOfCourse
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2015
🚨︎ report
My sister bet me I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/outofoffice247
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?

He pasta way.

πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2017
🚨︎ report

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