If both President Trump and VP Pence died from Coronavirus...
... that would be unpresidented.
Trump and Pence were preparing to leave the Whitehouse for a big rally. When the helicopter arrived, Trump wasn't ready yet, so Pence asked: "Do you want me to wait for you Mr. President?" ...
"No Mike, you fly on ahead and I'll catch up later".
What was written on the back of Mike Pence’s head?
The plural of penny is pence
But we just say pennies because it makes more cents
Some people see the Donald Trump / Mike Pence ticket as a punishment for America's sins
They say it's our comeTrumpPence.
If Donald Trump and Mike Pence go out to lunch
Mike Pence couldn’t make it to the Senate vote today because he had food poisoning from raw fish.
Presiding in his absence was the President Pro Temp-ura.
Mike Pence once endorsed the same thing 12 times.
He was accused of shilling.
In the UK "tuppence" refers to a small amount of money and is shorthand for a woman's vagina. In the US Trump-Pence involves a lot of money and describes a pair of penises.
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/tuppence
http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/14/politics/donald-trump-vice-presidential-choice/
Why did the dime run for President?
Because he kept hearing that people wanted to vote for change.
The campaign to elect Kamala Harris as Vice President
...was the most ex-pence-ive in history.
I wrote to the Vice President to ask him to overturn the election results...
But that's just my own To Pence.
What has questionable principles and flies?
Mike pence during tonight’s debate.
Since his political career is almost over the US vice president is starting his own soda company.
It's called Pence-a-cola.
What was the indecisive fly overheard saying?
I’m not sure about these debates, I’m really on the Pence
Didn't learn much with the last debate, but
We did find out that Pence is actually pretty fly, for a white guy!
My wife and kids laughed when they saw me chase a penny which rolled down the drain.
They were having fun at my ex pence.
Dad is buying supper from the chippy.
"Would you like anything on your chips?"
"Does it cost extra?"
"Ten pence."
"All right, I'll have four sausages and a steak pie."
"I want two new wipers for my Renault" I said to the shop assisstant
He replied "that's a good trade"
We should go into a beautiful forest and make fun of our vice president
If we could just dis Pence with the pleasant trees
I asked my dad if I could borrow some money...
He handed me a penny and said, "It's the least I can do."
What instrument does Clinton hate?
What type of metal can stop any car?
The Vice President, his brother, his wife, and their three children were all short on cash so they went to their local church for help. The preacher said he couldn’t spot that many people but pointed them to someone wealthier, who could: Sister Mary.
“SIX Pence? Nun the richer.”
I can't decide whether I should vote for Trump or not
I'm on the Pence about it still
Obama with the dad joke
https://twitter.com/POTUS/status/819694728665006080
Why does the White House not have complimentary pens?
Because Trump is bringing his own Pence.
Why is Obama taking all the writing instruments out of the White House?
Because Trump is bringing his own Pence
"I've got to pee" my dad would say sometimes at the dinner table...
Then hand me a two pence coin....
I wouldn't be surprised if it's already posted here, I'm amazed there are so many dad jokes since my dad will recycle only a couple haha!
I have two children, they're 22.5p
Sorry, I mean 4 and 6.
Saw Andy Zaltzman last night and he dropped that quality dad joke.
This just happened then
I was at the table eating breakfast when my mum asked me to post a letter. I asked her how much it was to do so. $1 she said, I asked how much it used to be and she said "it was 6 pence back when I was a girl" to which I replied "what? What are you now? A boy?"
What did the undecided voter say after the VP Debate?
Heard there is going to be a brass music section at the next political event...
Trump-Pence are on the ticket
Pulled this one on my parents while at a market.
We were all walking around a Christmas market here last week, and my dad had to pee. We finally found the loos, which is when we realised they were pay-per-use and none of us had any change. Peered at the door for a second, 50 pence to use the loo.
Dad: "How much is it?"
Me: "50 p for one pee".
All of us cracked up. I think dadjokes are in my blood. And I'm not even male.
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