Parallel lines have so much in common,

Its a shame they'll never meet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crowkiller06
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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Why do parallel lines get on so well?

Because they’re straight up with each other.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/29jake09
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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I’ve been to a parallel universe where oranges don’t exist, but my friends won’t believe me.

I guess they think it’s pulp fiction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddyflextape
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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I'm okay with parallel graphs and all...

But perpendicular? That crosses the line

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
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Vegetarians are like parallel lines...

They never meat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saulfineman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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My friend is always bragging about his woodworking tool like an axe but with the cutting edge perpendicular to the handle rather than parallel.

What an adze!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.

I guess I found my self in a real β€œpara-docks”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tacobob3831
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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Did you hear about the new vegan parallel lines?

They never meat.

πŸ‘︎ 120
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NormalPaladin
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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My friend asked me at lunch today what the male parallel for "misogyny" was.

I told him, "Misterogyny".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EndlessTilt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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For math lovers and others to
  1. Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal? Because he would have to convert.

  2. Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.

  3. Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!

  4. Why was the math book depressed? It had a lot of problems.

  5. Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Because it is never right.

  6. Why can you never trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? HeΒ must be plotting something.

  7. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.

  8. What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date? The odd couple

  9. What do you call a number that can’t stay in one place? A Roamin’ numeral.

  10. Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably.

  11. What do you call dudes who love math? Algebros.

  12. I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig. I’ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!

  13. Why should you never talk to Pi? Because she’ll go on and on and on forever.

  14. Why are parallel lines so tragic if they have so much in common? It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

  15. Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula.

  16. What’s the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Use acute angle.

  17. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? They’d stop at nothing to avoid them.

  18. How do you stay warm in any room? Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.

  19. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight ("ate") nine!

  20. Why DID seven eat nine? Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!

  21. Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there is no point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InvestWithArihant
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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Two Parallel Lines walked in a bar

They never met each other

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shigana
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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I thought I failed my parallel parking test.

Luckily my driving instructor grades on a curb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cjjsteen3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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Why is the 38th parallel dividing the two Koreas a straight line?

Because the North has a supreme ruler.

Credit for original in a slightly different form: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/aime9b/comment/eep6eyr?st=JR8D1J43&sh=307602be

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclinginasia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?

They’re never in sink.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArquielAeon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
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Parallel parkin
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tal29000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
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Parallel Universe: All the Jedi's were cats...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deerdido
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
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When Spider-Man’s twin children are learning to drive...

They’re parallel Parkers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gnochi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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Did you hear about the parallel lines that died?

It was along mourning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PelicanNotTheBoat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
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Would evil alternate-universe Spiderman be a bad parallel parker?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kazhiim
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2014
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I fell into a hole with one pair of parallel sides.

It was a trapezoid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/copiouscuddles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2015
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What's the deal with parallel parking? It should be called co-linear parking, parking in a parking lot is parallel parking!

My dad was a math teacher and thinks he's Seinfeld.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/USAFacts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2014
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I am amazed by intersecting lines

They are truly without parallel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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My dog Minton just ate my shuttlecock

Bad Minton!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2016
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What's the hardest part of driving for a dog?

Parallel barking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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My son is nervous about his upcoming driving test.

I said, β€œDon’t worry. Your parallel parking skills are unparalleled.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Rarely-used form of news media.

News was delivered in a novel way that the Korean War was over and a border was created along the 38th parallel. It was announced via parallelogram.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/turnbull1a
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2017
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I had my parking validated earlier.

Guy was like, "Left side parallel, way to go."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
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Just a few one-liners my dad thought up tonight

"Parallel lines struggle to make ends meet".

"Decapitated man can't get ahead".

"Reformed junkie encouraged to get back on the horse".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Earthwire
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2014
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An inventor was making a new engine

... but he was having trouble with the fuel pump. Every time the pressure dropped, it would start getting clogged and would shut down.

Eventually he had inspiration, and set things up to work in parallel: now if one intake started having trouble, the rest would still keep it running smoothly.

Lesson learned, don't put all your ebbs in one gasket

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2017
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From my professor today

Student: "Could you explain what anti-parallel means again?"

Prof: "Well, it's not uncley-parallel."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dbaliki918
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2016
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Calc professor gets it

My calc professor of 300+ students is going over lines in 3D space. He asks the class what it is called when two lines don't intersect but aren't parallel. A guy a few rows in front of me confidently says "skew" out loud. The professor looks at him and says "bless you". The class giggled a bit and he laughed for like a minute.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/My_Fox_Hat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2015
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Parallel lines have so much in common.

It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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Parallel lines have so much in common,

It’s too bad that they’ll never meet

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vintagario
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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Parallel lines have so much in common.

It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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Parallel lines

Parallel lines have so much in common, its a shame they will never meet.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wertoslow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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Parallel lines have so much in common...

It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoorAdvertising
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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Parallel lines have so much in common!

..It’s a shame they’ll never meet each other.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spicyoolong
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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Parallel lines, I heard they have a lot in common, too bad they never meet!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dorlarert
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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The fact that parallel lines have a lot in common but never meet is sad.

But what’s sadder is that all other lines only meet once and never see each other again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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Why do vegetarians like parallel lines?

Because they don’t meat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/geomads
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
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Parallel lines have so much in common.

It's a shame that they'll never meet eachother.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ginger_Waves
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
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Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?

Because they’ll never meet.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JRBX
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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Parallel lines have so much in common.

It's a shame they'll never meet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tankguy41
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2017
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Parallel lines have so much in common.

It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peanut31
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
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Parallel lines have so much in common

It's a shame that they're never going to meet

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RollingThunderQ
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2018
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Parallel lines have so much in common..

It's a shame they're never going to meet 😒

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tsimmz
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
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Parallel lines

Parallel lines have so much in common. Too bad they'll never meet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeverShan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2016
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math puns

Parallel lines have so much in common... it's a shame they'll never meet.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlphaAxel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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