My wife had two crowns put on her teeth yesterday. She was complaining about the pain and the dentist gave her some medication for it. We are talking later and she said that she waited too long between the first and second pill and her teeth started to ache again. I asked her what time that was.

She said she didn't remember.

I asked her if it was around tooth hurty!

She got mad and hit me in the arm and stopped talking to me for a while.

Totally worth it.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blackdragon8577
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Gave my friend a fake pill to help alleviate pain

Did it work? Placebo-ly

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Darkhemispheres
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife always says the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach…

Lovely woman.

Useless surgeon.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad hit me with this one after I complained about a shoulder ache.

He tossed me a little bottle of pills and said "take these, they're homeopathic pills for muscle pain. "

I told him, "Dad, I don't do homeopathic stuff."

Dad:"Well once you take these and feel better you can take a girl on a date."

Me:"What does that even mean?"

Dad:"That's called romeo-pathy"

Dear God this joke made the pain worse.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ILIKEFUUD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2016
🚨︎ report
My husband's dad game is getting much better.

Yesterday, I was running back from the school bus after asking the driver to give me a moment because my disabled son had had an accident and I was about finished cleaning him up. It was raining and muddy and I was in my bare feet, but this is the norm out here.

On the way back I managed to get my big toenail ripped up off the nailbed down to about halfway to the cuticle. Never done that before in 31 years, and oh my, I have to say it was a whole different level of exquisite agony when I finally noticed it. Funny how you never notice things like that until you see all the blood and how it doesn't even hurt until you touch it.

Sparing you the details of tracking in blood for five minutes before I even noticed I'd done it, the husband cringed quite a bit when he got home from work and saw it.

Fast forward to today--my period started and I had one hell of a headache all day long. He gets home from work and asks, "you ok, babe?" Because I'm usually pretty cheerful when he walks in the door, but today I was cranky as fuck.

"Eh, period started. Headache. Glad you're home, I can take a pain pill and you can watch the kids."

"Oh." He looked me up and down slowly and grinned. "So... now you're hurting from head... to toe?"

Motherfucker.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SmutGoddess
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.