He stubbed his pota-toe
A no bell prize
I turned to her and said 'damn that is some sharp cheddar!'
Because working for a fortnight would make everyone too weak.
Short people with umbrellas
Dad: Ow!
Me-ow!
Don’t ask me-ow.
“YOU, ow?” The cat replied in disbelief. “ME-ow”
If you ever accidentally smack your kid in the face and they say ow my eyes is blurry, or if they bump their face etc
Say “ah buddy u ok? Can u see? How many hands am I holding up?
Then proceed to hold up one hand with four fingers.
The kid will most often say 4. Then you make the dad face.
“4 hands!?!? Yah we might have a problem!”
This actually just happened!!!
I was driving my 14yo home, and I was complaining because I recently hurt my shoulder.
Me: Ow, my shoulder is trash
Him: Maybe you'll have to amputate your arm
Me: That wouldn't help because I'd still have a stump to waive around. They'd have to amputate it at the shoulder.
Him: They wouldn't really do that, would they?
Me: Yep
Him: Baloney
Me: No, that would be down here and pointed to my shin
Then he started crying :-) I can die happy now!!!
Gluten tag!
I went to my dentist yesterday, and after about a half an hour of cleaning and filling I finally could go home. Before I left he stopped me and said,
"Hey man, you better lay off the sweets, you'll get cavities."
I scoffed and replied, "I'll be fine doc."
Today I took a bite into my third chocolate bar and suddenly a jolt of pain shot from my tooth,
"OW MOTHERFU--"
I went to the dentist again, running inside. He turned to me and smirked,
"The tooth hurts, doesn't it?"
Ba dum dum dum dum dum ow
I heard my girlfriend from the kitchen say "Ow!"
I walked in and said "what happened?"
She said pointed to a drawer handle and said "I knee'd this"
I said, "Well, I can get you more"
but he just keeps saying "me ow"
While the sister was working the brother was walking around doing nothing
5 minutes pass
B: Ow S: You alright B: Yeah, just bumped into the table S: Where does it hurt B: Mitosis
My girlfriend and I opened a new pack of pre-sliced cheese. As we’re munching, I hold my mouth in pain and say “Ow!” She asked what was wrong and I said, “Well no wonder my mouth hurts, the package says this is extra sharp cheddar.” She was not amused
Ow my baaaaaaaack
Because he had a mustache.
Yell "ow"
So I went over and said I’d like to replace your cat and she said that’s fine with me but how are you at catching mice?!
Me-ow
They're cOwOrkers
Ow mitosis!
The first one says: "ow"
"Ow! My toeses!"
Don't ask me-ow.
Don’t ask me-ow.
Don’t ask me-ow
Me, ow.
“Ow” he said “why are you running”
