The second one say’s “well put some cold water in it then”
Wife: "It's sunny outside"
Me: <continuing> "...the rain will be light."
It's a Celt kilt cult.
The Ooh Aah Bird is so called because it lays square eggs
And a bad romance starts with “ra ra ah ah ah, ro ma, ro ma ma ga ga, ooh la la”
He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is”
Which - to me - sounded a bit obvious. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
He had a loco motive.
I told her it's unfair to make a judgment in less than a minute.
All offenses aside, I’m originally from Britain and we make fun of the Irish ALL the time.
So an Irishman stumbles upon a genie’s lamp and says to himself “ooh laddy what have we found here? I tink I’ll give it a rub to see if a genie appears!”
So he does, and lo, a puff of blue smoke comes pouring out of the spout, billows into the air and the genie’s form becomes solid. It speaks, “Oh master of the lamp, I am your genie and I grant you three wishes.”
The Irishman’s eyes are wide open with glee, his cheeks and nose red with fire, he shouts “tree wishes?! That’s just brilliant!” For me first wish, I’ll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs dry.”
The genie, eyes rolling, clicks his fingers and POOF a nice big bottle of whiskey appears before the Irishman. “Well I tink we’ll have to put this to the test!” He snatches up the bottle, takes a long healthy swig, glug glug glug, and the bottle pops as he releases it from his lips, “Ahhhhhhhh!!!” And to his amazement as soon as the liquid in the bottle settled, it gave a large burping “bulp!”, released a large bubble, and when the bubble popped the bottle was full again. “WELL I’LL BE! THAT’S THE MOST INCREDIBLE TING!”
The genie, steadfastly unimpressed, reminded the Irishman “Master, I will bring you fortune, splendor, reputation, treasures beyond any imagination. You have two wishes remaining. What would master want for a wish?”
The Irishman looks to the genie and says “oh tat’s easy! I’ll have two more of these!”
She still regrets letting me name the twins.
He always wanted a purebred.
Won’t be long now
Dad : “No, the regular kind.”
Tomorrow, a group of friends are having a Skype party trivia night and I need help trying to think of a punny name that involves “COVID-19”
Anyone got any ideas?
It was a Toto failure.
Despite having a huge fan base.
It’s just every time you ask them a question they are either too excited “Ooh Ooh” or nervous “Uhh Uhh” to ever finish their thought.
He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”
Me: Ooh, they have carrot cake cookies!
Wife: I don't care.
Me: No, you don't carrot!
Only you can prevent florist friars.
The dad suddenly sits up, sniffs the air and runs to the narrow opening.
"Somebody is baking! I smell nutmeg!"
The mother runs over and wedges herself in the remaining opening.
"Ooh! I smell vanilla and cinnamon!"
The baby poked and prodded but couldn't get past his mom and dad to smell the outside air.
"Oh man! All I smell is mole asses!"
we're heading through grocery store checkout. She looks over at the candies and says
"Ooh! Mentos!"
"I already have Mentos."
"Really? Where?"
"On my men feet!"
It would be sick.
The man says “no thanks, just a regular doctor please”
Ooh, were the questions hard?
Can't wait to hear My Corona played again!
Anette
A bad romance starts with "ra ra ah ah ah. ro, ro ma ma ga ga, ooh la la,"
Ra ra ah ah ah, ro ma ro ma ma, ga ga ooh la la, want yo bad romance.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
