The second one say’s “well put some cold water in it then”
Wife: "It's sunny outside"
Me: <continuing> "...the rain will be light."
It's a Celt kilt cult.
The Ooh Aah Bird is so called because it lays square eggs
The first monkey said "Ooh ahh ooh ooh ahh ooh!"
The second monkey replied "Well, add more cold water."
A bad romance starts with “ra ra ah ah ah, ro ma, ro ma ma ga ga, ooh la la.”
But there were so many stage lights turned towards me that…
I said, ooh, I'm blinded by the lights.
I felt completely invalvidated
No taste.
He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is”
Which - to me - sounded a bit obvious. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
She still regrets letting me name the twins.
I told her it's unfair to make a judgment in less than a minute.
He had a loco motive.
Dad : “No, the regular kind.”
All offenses aside, I’m originally from Britain and we make fun of the Irish ALL the time.
So an Irishman stumbles upon a genie’s lamp and says to himself “ooh laddy what have we found here? I tink I’ll give it a rub to see if a genie appears!”
So he does, and lo, a puff of blue smoke comes pouring out of the spout, billows into the air and the genie’s form becomes solid. It speaks, “Oh master of the lamp, I am your genie and I grant you three wishes.”
The Irishman’s eyes are wide open with glee, his cheeks and nose red with fire, he shouts “tree wishes?! That’s just brilliant!” For me first wish, I’ll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs dry.”
The genie, eyes rolling, clicks his fingers and POOF a nice big bottle of whiskey appears before the Irishman. “Well I tink we’ll have to put this to the test!” He snatches up the bottle, takes a long healthy swig, glug glug glug, and the bottle pops as he releases it from his lips, “Ahhhhhhhh!!!” And to his amazement as soon as the liquid in the bottle settled, it gave a large burping “bulp!”, released a large bubble, and when the bubble popped the bottle was full again. “WELL I’LL BE! THAT’S THE MOST INCREDIBLE TING!”
The genie, steadfastly unimpressed, reminded the Irishman “Master, I will bring you fortune, splendor, reputation, treasures beyond any imagination. You have two wishes remaining. What would master want for a wish?”
The Irishman looks to the genie and says “oh tat’s easy! I’ll have two more of these!”
He always wanted a purebred.
It was a Toto failure.
Tomorrow, a group of friends are having a Skype party trivia night and I need help trying to think of a punny name that involves “COVID-19”
Anyone got any ideas?
He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”
Won’t be long now
Despite having a huge fan base.
we're heading through grocery store checkout. She looks over at the candies and says
"Ooh! Mentos!"
"I already have Mentos."
"Really? Where?"
"On my men feet!"
Only you can prevent florist friars.
It’s just every time you ask them a question they are either too excited “Ooh Ooh” or nervous “Uhh Uhh” to ever finish their thought.
Me: Ooh, they have carrot cake cookies!
Wife: I don't care.
Me: No, you don't carrot!
And a bad romance starts with “ra ra ah ah ah, ro ma, ro ma ma ga ga, ooh la la”
A bad romance starts with "ra ra ah ah ah. ro, ro ma ma ga ga, ooh la la,"
Ra ra ah ah ah, ro ma ro ma ma, ga ga ooh la la, want yo bad romance.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
