How many apples grow on a tree?
What’s big, green, fuzzy, has four legs, and will kill you if it falls on you out of a tree?
How many olives grow on a tree?
Since this is a “Nana” tree (common name for Juniperus Procumens Green Mountain Juniper bonsai), it was suggested I have a “ba”. Therefore, since the stock ticker for Boeing is BA, I bought a toy 787. That means there is now a “banana” on the counter.
What kind of tree does a chicken grow on ?
Just saw two birds stuck together on a branch of a tree...
...A pair of Velcrows obviously.
What kind of apple grows on a tree?
My dad had a Christmas ornament of Elvis dressed as an Angel on his tree. I asked my Dad why little angel Elvis wasn’t wearing any pants. He replied:
Because he died on the toilet
An elephant is sitting on a tree...
An elephant is sitting on top of a tree
A donkey comes along and starts to climb the tree
Elephant says "hey, donkeys don't climb trees!"
Donkey says "but I want to eat those apples!"
Elephant laughs "you donkey! This is a mango tree"
Donkey laughs "I brought my own apples!"
On Earth Day I was going to plant a tree
But I planted my butt on the couch.
I’m worried my young daughter might have a future in crime. Today, she found a tree branch on the ground...
She immediately raised it above her head and said, “This is a stick up!”
(Credit to my 2.5 year old- inspired by true events)
If money doesn't grow on tree's....
Then why do banks have so many branches?
What does a tree wear on its roots?
Why was the Christmas tree on trial?
Why didn't the Australian marsupial climb down the tree to drink the beverage waiting for him on the ground?
It was my turn to hide the pickle on the tree this Christmas.
No matter how hard I tried, you could always see the jar sticking out.
It was a Vlasic holiday blunder.
[true story] Dad and daughter trimming the Christmas tree with tinsel— DAD (points to empty spot on tree and says to daughter): “Little more on here.” DAUGHTER (storms off crying)...
...”MOM! DAD CALLED ME A LITTLE MORON!!”
Last year, my wife was so angry that I forgot to buy her a Christmas present, but that's not happening this time, because I bought her present two months ago! It's all wrapped up, sitting under the tree, waiting for her on Christmas Day!!
She's going to love these flowers!
What do you put on a grumpy Christmas tree?
Did you hear about the guy that fell out of the tree and on to the bike with no seat?
What do you call a tree walking on the middle of the road
What do you call a tree stuck on a math problem
So I’m trying to work on tree puns
I guess you can say I’m branching out and sprucing them up a bit. They’re oak-ay at the moment. But nothing that would leaf you hanging.
How does a tree express its feelings on a stage?
The ultimate dadjoke. My toddlers believe that on 3 king’s day (along with bringing gifts) the camels severely screw up our home. I put muddy hoof prints throughout, upend the plants, knock over the tree, tear apart fruit, etc.
This year Was a symphony! We had aunts, and two grandmas join in for a seriously epic camel disaster for the kids to discover tomorrow. Feeling proud of my dad skills.
Photos here:
https://imgur.com/gallery/b8sILu3
Edit: the oldest is 5. We celebrated a day early so their aunt could be here. The real 3 kings day is tomorrow. Don’t tell the wise men!
A squirrel is sitting on a branch in a pine tree when suddenly he feels the whole tree begin to shake violently.
He looks down and sees that a full-grown elephant is slowly clambering up the tree. When the elephant finally reaches the branch the squirrel asks, "Why on earth did you climb up into this pine tree?!"
The elephant then says, "I came up here to eat some pears, of course."
The squirrel, completely shocked at the elephant's ignorance, exclaims, "You elephants don't know the first thing about trees! This is a PINE tree, there are no pears here."
The elephant then explains, "Oh, I know, I brought my own."
My Christmas Tree has been through several wars, I can only place ornaments on the top of it now.
It is very highly decorated.
Just saw the first sign of spring on a tree
How does a tree get on the Internet?
I cut down a tree and it happened to land on my neighbor's car
I live in an old neighborhood with a 100 year old oak tree. One day every year, all the kids in the neighborhood put all their boy/girl scout badges on the tree. One day, I wonder why the kids do this. So, I called up my dad to ask him, and he said...
"Oh, it's just a badge oak."
What do you call an ornament on a Christmas tree that is all by itself?
The Decoration of Independence
What do you call the facial hair on a tree?
Did you hear about the tree on the America highway?
How many of the apples grew on a tree?
One of the tree on our construction site seems dead but keeps coming back to life
This has happened a few times. So yesterday on a conference call my boss mentions that this tree thinks he's either a cat with 9 lives or Jesus christ. I start laughing hysterically because in my head all I can think of is treesus christ.
My second child will be born in 2 weeks. I'm ultimate dad now.
My father fell from a tree and shattered the ribs on his left side
He's really broken up about it
My dad tells me how I should put ornaments on my Christmas tree
Dad: "So is your tree going to be facing a wall?"
Me: "Yeah, a wall and a window"
D: "Put all your ornaments on the side facing the wall..."
M: "Go on."
D: "Then, you can tell all your friends that you have a balls to the wall Christmas tree."
D: giggles in success
What’s green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell out of a tree on to your head?
How many apples grow on a tree?
How many apples grow on a tree?
How many apples grow on a tree ?
How many apples grow on a tree?
How many apples grow on a tree?
How many apples grow on a tree?
How many apples grow on a tree?
How many apples grow on a tree?
How many apples grow on a tree?
How many apples grow on the tree?
How many apples grow on a tree?
How many apples grow on a tree?
How many apples grow on a tree?
What is brown, green, and fuzzy on top and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
How many apples grow on a tree?
How many apples grow on a tree?
How many apples grow on a tree?
How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.
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What type of Apple grows on a tree?
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So, how many apples grow on a tree?
How Many Apples Grow On A Tree?
How many apples grow on a tree?
How many apples grow on a tree?
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
How many apples grow on a tree?
How many apples grow on a tree?
How many apples grow on a tree?
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