Did you hear about the woman who was charged with illegally culling trees?

She was arrested by The Special Branch.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dulfuckyourself
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2020
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What’s the worst crime to commit in arbor society?

Treeson

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheKingOfFault
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2019
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I propose extending Arbor Day to 72 hours.

It really should be a tree-day affair.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/andrew_ryans_beard
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 26 2019
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Have you heard about the new chocolate arboreal marsupial bioluminescence?

It's cocoa-koala light.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2018
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Since Arbor Day is coming up, my local tree nursery is running a 2-for-1 special

Buy-1-get-1-tree

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/richthefunkmastr
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2018
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The Arbor Foundation asked my dad if he'd like to take a survey about their trees.

He said he wood.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dogsaretheanswer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04 2017
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My daughter wants a long board and I asked her about brand names. She talked about Arbor, Quest and some others. I told her stay away from "star" because it always pulls to the right.

"port is left and starboard is right... get it?? huh? huh??"

"Sadly dad,, I do.."

discussion was by text.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kjvlv
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2014
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Where do boats carrying wood go?

The arbor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bigkodack
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2020
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A lumberjack went into a magical forest to cut a tree...

Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted "Wait! I'm a magical tree!"

The lumberjack grinned and said, "And you will dialogue".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 83
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ManOfTheInBetween
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 07 2018
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Did you hear about the tree surgeon who was found to be hiding escaped convicts up trees in his garden?

He was charged with arboring criminals

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hairyfacedhooman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21 2019
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I'm gonna go out on a limb here, but I think...

I probably failed my arboreal safety exam.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 09 2019
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What’s a pirates favorite holiday?

Arbor Day

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/snuzet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13 2018
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Dad planting trees in the backyard...

Come home, see my dad planting trees in the backyard... I ask, "How do you know where to plant the trees?" Dad says, "It's arbortrary".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cheechoo13
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2015
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A dad joke so bad (good?) it killed my brain

My family is on the mailing list for the National Arbor Day Foundation, so we get begging letters from time to time.

In the most recent one, there was an additional flier that had the phrase "Hurry! You don't want to leave behind all the great benefits of being a member of the Arbor Day Society!"

I was immediately disappointed that they didn't say "You don't want to LEAF behind..." I then got SUPER excited to tell this joke to my wife who was in the other room, so I run in to tell her the joke, but by that point, I was so jazzed about the leaf pun, I completely forgot the rest of the phrase, so all I could babble out was (and this is literally what I said) "Something something LEAF! Something something something," all the while giggling like a madman. I have not heard the end of it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crepusculi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 04 2016
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