Last night, taking a walk on the beach... Came across a police car stuck in the sand about 3 feet from the water...I asked the driver what happened...
He said the police were expecting a crime wave
What did one video call tell to another on the beach?
2 pebbles washes up on the beach. One says to the other, "Are you married?"
Other replies, "No, I'm shingle."
I was on the beach and got hit by a massive wave of cake
I found a load of batteries washed up on the beach.
I was collecting C Cells on the sea shore.
What do you call a vengeful Australian spell caster who lives on the beach?
At the beach, opposite the life guard, a man sleeps on a towel, adjacent an unopened umbrella.
When he wakes up, he's going to be a tan gent.
My son didn't like sharp stones on the seafloor at the beach
I have three different levels of tan on me. One level is my arms and legs from wearing a shirt and shorts. The next level is from not wearing a shirt at the beach. And the last is under my shorts.
What’s tiny and can be found on the beach?
“Due to the rising number of dolphin attacks, we’ve had to outlaw any overnight camping on the beach.”
“We hope the new rule will help, for all in tents and porpoises.”
We found a dolphin skeleton on the beach, so we ground the bones to make some bread...
It was all-porpoise flour.
We drove to California and had a picnic on the beach. Had a great time, even though our waffles fell on the ground.
I'll always remember that sandy Eggo trip.
Saw a bunch of crows wash up on the beach
Must've been murder suicide
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel
My good friend drowned while at the beach last month. I tearfully placed a life preserver on his coffin at the funeral.
It's what he would've wanted.
What Star Wars character lives on the beach?
Sando Calrissian
Courtesy of my 11 year old brother. He came up with a pretty clever dad joke
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
I was at the beach today and there was a group of pelicans not doing anything. I concentrated hard on one pelican and suddenly if flew out to the water, snagged a fish in his bill and flew back to shore. "Wow", I thought to myself..
Pelikinesis is a real thing.
A pod of porpoises moved into the harbor near my town. So, me and my friends decided to go camping on the beach to check it out. We brought beer for us and some raw fish to feed the pod. Everybody had a great time. You could say it was a party
for all in tents and porpoises.
You can bet on firemen at the beach.
My wife and I went on a trip to Cuba to stay at a few different places. By the end of week 2, we were walking barefoot across a beach, nearly dying of thirst and exhausted. We were wondering if we'd make it home, until I spotted a server holding some drinks. We sprinted towards her and drank both.
What book of the bible do you read on a beach?
What do you call waffles on the beach
My daughter and I were playing on the beach today when I picked up her small bucket and stared at it for a long time. Puzzled, she asked, "Daddy, what're you doing!!?" Sounding concerned, I said, "Your bucket is sick!"
Surprised, she asked, "How do you know?"
I replied, "Well, it's a little pail!"
Why do elephants hate running on the beach?
Because they can't keep their trunks up!
My family drove past the highest point in Florida on our way to the beach...
The trip was all downhill from there
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
The was a huge dress-up party on the beach
On my way down I saw a naked man with a naked woman on his back. I asked him “What are you dressing up as” He said “ I’m going as a turtle”
I asked “so then who’s hat on your back” he replied “ Michelle”.
Found a shell on the beach
I saw an upset crustacean on the beach yesterday...
He was looking pretty crabby.
If you're in SoCal dont drop your toaster waffle on the beach...
Or you'll have a sandy Eggo in San Diego
I know it's boring to shop for vacuum cleaners, son, but remember, the Beach Boys had the same difficulty while deciding on a brand for their own personal vacuum cleaner. I can remember their words now...
"A Roomba? Makita? Ooooh! I want Eureka!"
He avoided me for the rest of the day.
How do you call a dog on the beach?
Cute Brazilian Ass on the beach
I hate trash on the beach.
I mean, it's literal littoral litter.
What is it called when you smoke weed on the beach with an Asian dude?
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
What do you call a witch on the beach...
Why should you not eat waffles on the beach in California?
Because you'll end up with a sandy eggo.
If you drop your waffle on the beach in San Diego...
You have a sandy eggo in San Diego.
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