What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, oceans can’t talk.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlyersWin15
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Where can you read about the latest news at the beach?

In the sandpaper!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unfussed
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
🚨︎ report
A group of friends were walking around the beach looking to find a hotel to stay but they were all booked except for one, one of them said:

"Guys, that's our last resort."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mental_Shine8098
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Why was the teenage fidgeting with the bridge on the beach

Bcz of pier pressure

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrbing3904
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
After getting back from the beach, my daughter said, β€œHey, look! I’m tan from the sun!”

I shook her hand. β€œIt’s very nice to meet you! I’m Dad from Earth.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/u-squanks
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
at the beach, i found a broken sand dollar, and i turned to Daughter, and said, hey i found a rapper...

she immediately responded, "50 cent"

it was rewarding because i could visibly see her internal groan at dumb dad joke, but then also self-horror that she was so quick to get the joke... win-win-win!!

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fajita43
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a witch that lives in the beach?

A sandwitch

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/v_Delavnici
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
A Magical Chicken Visited the Beach

Transforming itself into a Chicken Sand Witch

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HoraceSense
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
what do you call a waffle you find on the beach?

san diego

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/roguewavesurfin
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
A biologist, a physicist and a chemist visit the beach...

The biologist is so amazed at the marine life that they walk into the ocean never to be seen again.

The physicist is so amazed by fluid dynamics that they walk into the ocean, never to be seen again.

The chemist looks at the ocean, picks up a stick and writes a simple observation in the sand. "Biologists and physicists are soluble in water."

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tadashi4
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Someone is going around smashing all of the shells at the beach. It’s unconchinable
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soliart
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a beagle at the beach?

A hot dog.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keepinthatempo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
My buddy used to paint these beautiful beach scapes when he lived on the coast, but since he’s moved away, he won’t paint any more.

I guess he’s now an ex-cape-artist...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sully1227
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Why wasn't the scuba diver invited to the company's executive beach party?

Because he was below C-level.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRockingDead
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the score of the game between the ocean and the beach?

It's tide.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
A man was walking down the beach when he saw someone lying on the sand with a banana shoved in the ear.

Intrigued, the man decided to warn the person and said "hey, you have a banana shoved in your ear".

The person replied "what?"

> "You have a banana shoved in your ear!"

> "WHAT??"

> "YOU HAVE A BANANA SHOVED IN YOUR EAR!!"

> "SIR PLEASE SPEAK LOUDER I CAN'T HEAR YOU 'CAUSE I HAVE A BANANA SHOVED IN MY EAR!.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/defaultorpattern
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
A perfect dad joke for the beach... /r/Jokes/comments/lhl1p8/…
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JJSummit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Last night, taking a walk on the beach... Came across a police car stuck in the sand about 3 feet from the water...I asked the driver what happened...

He said the police were expecting a crime wave

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrangeJeepWdw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I found a load of batteries washed up on the beach.

I was collecting C Cells on the sea shore.

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a cello wear to the beach?

A string bikini!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cneuf802
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What did one video call tell to another on the beach?

Can you share the screen

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/summingitup
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What does Carrot Top wear to the beach?

Carrot Bottoms

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Why was the beach smelly?

Because the seaweed.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
There's a rumour going around about two waves racing to the beach. Can you guess which one won?

They Tide!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ISimbaI
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
2 pebbles washes up on the beach. One says to the other, "Are you married?"

Other replies, "No, I'm shingle."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
If you were to accidentally drop your waffle at the beach, it would most likely happen in...

...San Diego.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThroneDiscs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
At the beach, opposite the life guard, a man sleeps on a towel, adjacent an unopened umbrella.

When he wakes up, he's going to be a tan gent.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Made it finally to the beach after lockdown and joyously shouted...

Hey ! Long time no sea.

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Most folks avoid the beach for dolphin hunting

It’s for legal porpoises

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prollyonthepot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the beach wet?

The sea weed

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AussieJayHi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Jabba the Beach Hut reddit.com/gallery/icnxc4
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saggyleftnut33
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a vengeful Australian spell caster who lives on the beach?

A vege-smite sand witch!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rivethart
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked the beach where the sea was...

It said it wasn’t shore.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlietd76
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I was riding to a beach in this remote part of the district and stopped at this run down petrol pump

A kid was manning the pump and I asked if they take cards He replies with a straight face : No we give it back after swiping

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/regulaslight
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the beach say to the ocean?

Quit giving me all these crabs.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shoedog
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The Beach Boys walk into a bar.

"Round?"

"Round".

"Get a round?"

"I'll get a round".

πŸ‘︎ 805
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day.

She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing. She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them.

Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag.

The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn’t know for sure they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife asked, β€œHoney, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?”

He hadn’t and said so. Then she said, β€œTomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she’s really doing.”

Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road. β€œWell, is she selling drugs?” she asked excitedly.”

β€œNo, she’s not.” he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.

β€œWell, what is it, then?” his wife fairly shrieked.

The man grinned and said. β€œHer name is Sally and she’s selling batteries.”

β€œBatteries?” cried the wife.

β€œYes,” he replied. β€œShe sells C cells by the Seashore.”

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s tiny and can be found on the beach?

A Microwave.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captain_Jorik
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the two elephants have to leave the beach?

They only had a pair of trunks.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zipperfall
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you know that trees long to vacation at the beach?

Because they always bring their trunks.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NThruThe0utdoor
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
You know where I should put those sea shells I found at the beach?

On the shellf.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strawbalicious
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My son didn't like sharp stones on the seafloor at the beach

He couldn't stand it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatdoginapan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Birbboips4
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved...

(Sorry if this is a repost lol)

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/0071241
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sorceress that lives on the beach?

A sandwitch

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rohlnik
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing. It just waved.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lead_the_leader
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Made to the beach finally, after months away, and joyously shouted..

..Hey ! Long time no Sea.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report

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