Sorry if offensive

What do you call a German who canโ€™t see

A notsee

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/OwnSpecialist8
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 02 2020
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I made this video in good humor only... please do not take it as offense in any way, shape, or form!

Life as a Stay at Home Dad (honest humor nothing against Stay at Home Dads)

As as an aspiring father figure, I have the greatest respect for dads of every kind. In fact, much of this stems from the fact Iโ€™ve grown up from the age of 6 without a father of my own. I made this video as a comical representation of what I hope to be one day: a guy full of dad jokes and such humor.

Thank you for reading and enjoy!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mosswyatt
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 29 2020
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I still experience long-lasting psychological effects from having a childhood friend that took offense at everything I did.

My doctor calls it Irritable Pal Syndrome.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/YourLocalCreep
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 15 2020
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What kind of deodorant do offensive linemen use?

Right Guard

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Long-Afternoon
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 16 2020
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The term โ€œdad bodโ€ is offensive

I prefer father figure

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 266
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/AJ-Naka-Zayn-Owens
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 03 2020
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Offense to potatos
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Tarlungs110466
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 25 2020
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Don't take offense

Take a gate it's more useful

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/luminouspotato
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 22 2020
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my transgender son wanted to start on T....

so I gave him tea.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/3ThatUserNameIsTaken
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 29 2020
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Offensive jokes incoming
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 56
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/destructive_peae
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 13 2019
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What type of writing makes everyone laugh?

arTICKLE

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/OctColorados
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 24 2020
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Never pick a fight with a music teacher

You may think itโ€™s A minor offense, but the punishment could B major

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 23
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/NotMetheThree
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 20 2020
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Why did the flatbread become a clean comedian?

He wanted to be naan-offensive.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Mealonx
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 14 2020
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Which offense is chargeable in most countries?

Battery

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/abhilashmurthy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 09 2020
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โ€œYou need a baby gate? Alright, I got one white one and two blacks, which do you want?โ€

โ€œDad, you canโ€™t say โ€˜blacksโ€™ someone might take offense!โ€ โ€œ...Itโ€™s not a fence, itโ€™s a gate.โ€ Not his best thanksgiving day dad joke, but definitely not expected in the moment ๐Ÿ˜‚

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Dependent-Pattern-26
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 26 2020
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Every time the Indianapolis NFL team starts an offensive play, the temperature drops

Because there's a Colt snap!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Suprcheese
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 17 2019
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Is this offensive?
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Stevedercoole
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 20 2019
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No offense to anyone born in late june to early july but...

I hate cancer

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/kishenoy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 12 2019
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Why should you never take offense?

Because you won't know where the edge of your garden is

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 37
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/TechnoBris
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 14 2019
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i have a offensive broken airplane joke,

but it just won't fly here.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 23
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/epicgamer927
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 21 2019
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I like to watch People play games online. Guess that makes me a "Streaming fan"
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Albin1116
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 28 2020
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Did you hear about the offensive toilet?

It was out of order.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/bearbelly88
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 29 2019
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I got told a offensive joke about planes

I wasnt happy but i let it fly.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/2suomalaista
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 19 2018
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An Irishman finds a genie

All offenses aside, Iโ€™m originally from Britain and we make fun of the Irish ALL the time.

So an Irishman stumbles upon a genieโ€™s lamp and says to himself โ€œooh laddy what have we found here? I tink Iโ€™ll give it a rub to see if a genie appears!โ€

So he does, and lo, a puff of blue smoke comes pouring out of the spout, billows into the air and the genieโ€™s form becomes solid. It speaks, โ€œOh master of the lamp, I am your genie and I grant you three wishes.โ€

The Irishmanโ€™s eyes are wide open with glee, his cheeks and nose red with fire, he shouts โ€œtree wishes?! Thatโ€™s just brilliant!โ€ For me first wish, Iโ€™ll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs dry.โ€

The genie, eyes rolling, clicks his fingers and POOF a nice big bottle of whiskey appears before the Irishman. โ€œWell I tink weโ€™ll have to put this to the test!โ€ He snatches up the bottle, takes a long healthy swig, glug glug glug, and the bottle pops as he releases it from his lips, โ€œAhhhhhhhh!!!โ€ And to his amazement as soon as the liquid in the bottle settled, it gave a large burping โ€œbulp!โ€, released a large bubble, and when the bubble popped the bottle was full again. โ€œWELL Iโ€™LL BE! THATโ€™S THE MOST INCREDIBLE TING!โ€

The genie, steadfastly unimpressed, reminded the Irishman โ€œMaster, I will bring you fortune, splendor, reputation, treasures beyond any imagination. You have two wishes remaining. What would master want for a wish?โ€

The Irishman looks to the genie and says โ€œoh tatโ€™s easy! Iโ€™ll have two more of these!โ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/bbacconnn
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 21 2020
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My friend is a medical professional who does circumcisions for a living.

He doesn't get paid much, but at least he gets to keep all the tips.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 27
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/rajdhagat
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 11 2020
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*Warning* This video is offensive v.redd.it/aq66eskm7ub21
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mellowbelot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 21 2019
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No offense to German sausages..

But theyโ€™re just the wurst.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Subscribe_to_Sam24
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 06 2019
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What kind of offense is not paying your credit card debt?

A Capital One

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 26
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/stefanopolis
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 07 2019
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Fences are offensive,

Letโ€™s picket them.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SwiftFoxRaps
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 15 2018
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Why is earth worm humor offensive?

They only know dirty jokes.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/querdun
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 25 2019
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My Indian friend just told her parents she wants to wear a Western dress at her wedding.

She said, โ€œSorry, but not Sari.โ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 31 2019
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What do you call something that's offensive to the mind of a dog?

Re-pug-nant.

*screams internally*

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/_Pellucidity_
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 29 2018
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This is the most downright offensive thing I've ever seen

http://i.imgur.com/HiikZ78.jpg

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 323
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/elcielo17
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 02 2017
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Why was the pun so offensive?

It was homophonic.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 58
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Excrubulent
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 03 2016
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You know what they say about the Rams offense?

They were just Goff their game.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Sharpreed
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 04 2019
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I thought the defense would like my joke about the quarterback

I guess it was too offensive

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ScreaminTom
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 04 2020
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The poet said something offensive at yesterday's poetry slam.

I snapped.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/numbgum
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 15 2018
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I had to fill in several post holes yesterday.

I didnโ€™t want them to make offense.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/WickedYetiOfTheWest
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 24 2020
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Did you hear about hitler losing the russian winter offensive?

He was fรผhrer-ous

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/missile500
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 28 2018
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Is stealing goats a felony offense?

Only for young goats - then it's kidnapping.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Bigfoothobbit
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 06 2018
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What do you get when you mix a Jewish family with fruit?

Apple Jews (Please donโ€™t take this offensively Iโ€™m a dumb 12 year old)

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 107
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/A_Inoocent_Potato
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 13 2020
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""Comma"is called Unconscious in spain(no offense).A script from mind your language youtu.be/edgMaOhqi9w
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/darkheists
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 13 2018
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