The markup on molded rubber shoes is obscene

What a croc!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PulkPush
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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YouTube are trialling a new obscenity filter

but they haven't quite worked all the kinks out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StinkyWeezle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2017
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What was FDR's most famous maritime obscenity law?

The Nude Eel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ColdBeerAhh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2016
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My twin brother was being rude to our mother on the phone, so I pushed him out of the window...

Now I am being charged with making an "obscene clone fall"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Costoffreedom
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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"He's the most foul mouthed person to ever live!" screamed the scientist who cloned himself and later tried to throw the clone off the roof.

He was arrested for attempting to make an obscene clone fall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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Texas Lady

Hello darling," breathed the obscene phone caller. "If you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you a piece of the action."

""Listen Dude," drawled the lil' Texas lady, "If y'all can hold it in one hand, I ain't interested."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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Teacher: β€œIf I Gave You 2 Cats, And Another 2 Cats And Another 2, How Many Will You Have?”

Pappu: β€œSeven Sir”

Teacher: β€œNo, Listen Carefully. If I Gave You 2 Cats, And Another 2 Cats And Another 2, How Many Will You Have?”

Pappu: β€œSeven”

Teacher: β€œLet Me Put It To You Differently. If I Gave You 2 Apples, And Another 2 Apples And Another 2, How Many Will You Have?”

Pappu: β€œSix.”

Teacher: β€œGood. Now If I Gave You 2 Cats, And Another 2 Cats And Another 2,How Many Will You Have?”

Pappu: β€œSeven!!!”

Very Angry Teacher: β€œWhere Do You Get Seven From”

Very Angry Pappu: β€œBecause I Already Have One At Homeβ€œ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Teachdis
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
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The criminal charge

A young lady had a problem because this other gal looked almost exactly like her, but had a nasty vocabulary. Nobody wanted to be around her anymore because the foul-mouthed girl really harmed her reputation.

So the lady in question decided to push the foul-mouthed look-alike off of the top roof of the Empire State Building. However, after doing this, she was soon arrested. Guess what she was charged with?

Making an obscene clone fall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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I threw my genetic copy off a cliff because he was always swearing.

I got done up for making an obscene clone fall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2018
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Young Billy Finally Lands a Date for the Prom

He really wants to impress her, so he decides to rent a tux. However, when he gets to the rental place, people are queued up out the door. He doesn't let this stop him, though. He takes his place in line and gets to waiting.

Finally, after waiting for over an hour, he gets fitted and pays for the rental. Relieved, he heads to the florist for a corsage, only to discover that the line there is also out the door, and halfway around the block, to boot!

Miffed, he mutters some mild obscenities, but he is determined to see this through, so he waits for almost 2 hours before finally being able to buy the flowers he picked out.

It's now the night of the dance, and he's ready to go. He picks her up, and they head to the event. When they arrive, his date immediately asks him if he can grab her a drink - she's absolutely parched! Still determined to make this the best night of her life, he dutifully makes his way to the other side of the venue, where he discovers, much to his surprise...

 

 

 

There's no punch line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rolling_Man
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
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Pun contest. Name our bands next "tour". Get it printed on shirts. Win imaginary gold.

Backstory: I play in a small band that does a "tour" of southern Wisconsin every year. The bands name is the Petty Thieves. This is my first year with them, but every year they come up with a tour name and make nice t-shirts and material with the tour name on them. Last two tour names were "Sticky Fingers" and "Busted!" We are looking for something related to the band name. Something clever and crime related. If it has mild sexual innuendo, all the better, but not overtly obscene. Some tour names we came up with are: Five Finger Discount, Backdoor Tour, Snatching Kisses, Kissing Snatches, Robbing the Cradle, Something something Miss Demeanors, Spread 'em, Felonious Funk, Unlawful Entry, Rhymes against Humanity, etc...

If you have anything punny, please throw it out there. Top 3 upvoted names get reddit gold. If we use your tour name, I'l send you the tshirt. Thanks kind sirs!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dharmon555
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2013
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