A relatable inanimate object pun that I drawded.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 25 2019
What did the cow say to the celestial object?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, βWhat happened before The Big Bang?β
He said, βSorry. There is no Time.β
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
My friend and I started a business where we weigh tiny objects.
Itβs a small scale operation.
π︎ 48
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
What is the object oriented way to get wealthy?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
My wife is such a sex object.
Every time I want sex, she objects.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.
Me: Can we change the subject?
Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
I have started freezing different objects at -273.15Β°c and blowing them up. Seeing with items reacted differently.
I call it the 0k boomer experiment.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Mar 17 2020
My wife got mad at me for have sexual affairs with inanimate objects
I told her it was one night stand...
π︎ 138
π
︎ Jul 12 2020
A report just came out exposing how the government's mishandling of an explosive object could've caused the deaths of hundreds of civilians
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
We preserve objects very well these days.
Soon, artefacts may just become a thing of the past.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
Who would run a country where there are only objects used for geometrical drawing?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
What is the most sexual object in the world?
A door, because it wont stop banging the frame.
π︎ 20
π
︎ May 25 2020
My wife said I can't treat people like objects.
I'm not so sure I can live with that.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 05 2020
The Muppets teamed up with NASA to name a newly discovered celestial object.
Upon its first sighting, the Jim Henson Company issued a press release, "Comet Defrog here."
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jul 19 2020
This one weird object will literally shock you!
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 08 2020
Im quivering in my boots
π︎ 134
π
︎ Nov 07 2020
I have no objection to people being spontaneous,
I just think there is a time and a place for it.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 07 2020
A clock is the most likely object to get corona
because it always has its hands on it's face
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 10 2020
Two people are at someone's funeral
The host asks the guest,
"Would you like to say a word?"
The guest than goes up than says,
"Bargain"
The host starts crying and says,
"That means a great deal."
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
Itβs funny they call them βunidentified flying objectsβ
I could identify them right away. those are ufos.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Apr 30 2020
If you die from smoking weed does that mean that you were killed by a blunt object?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jan 11 2020
Why did the undefined cross the road?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the auto repair shop to get his pick up cluck.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
How do flat round throwing objects sort their opinional differences?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 23 2020
When people think of calculators they think the buttons are the most important thing
But it's what's inside that counts
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Apr 23 2020
Frankenstein enters a body building competition and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 22 2019
I think I lost my sense of object permanence
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 02 2020
Meditate on it
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Mar 12 2020
Why are three-dimensional objects so good at cutting down trees?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 18 2020
Them: Donβt treat women like objects
Me: Women women = new Women();
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 22 2019
I just found out that a circle is the most pointless object
π︎ 20
π
︎ Mar 12 2019
Gabe had a heavy load this semester
Math, physics, comp sci. The only easy class was "The American Century." Open book midterm and final, so he wasn't going to do any of the reading all semester.
βItβs a huge waste of time, Dad,β he laughed when I objected. βIβm not learning a damn thing in the class.β
βWell, then youβre just going to have to take that class over again,β I snapped at him.
βWhat are you talking about?β he yelped.
βYou know why, Gabe,β I said. βThose who donβt learn from history are condemned to repeat it.β
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
Which weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?
A gallon of water. Butane is lighter fluid.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Dec 15 2019
I made an object that simulates how something travels downhill
π︎ 14
π
︎ Aug 25 2019
My wife was just swapping out objects on the mantle, and my son asked why she was putting bamboo up there.
I told him she was decorating for Halloween, and they both just gave me a flat look. Then with a grin on my face I simply said bamBOO!!
Much to my wifeβs dismay my 6 year old has been repeating it for the last 20 minutes.
π︎ 193
π
︎ Oct 25 2018
What fee is connected to every wedding and no-one objects?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 06 2019
Are there a lot of first-person singular objective pronouns, or is it just me?
π︎ 163
π
︎ Sep 29 2018
At least, he "seas" his objective clearly...
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 23 2019
My friend and I started a business where we weigh microscopic objects.
Itβs a small scale operation.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Nov 07 2020
I just started a business where we specialize in weighing tiny objects.
Itβs a small scale operation.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Feb 17 2020
I've just started a business where I weigh tiny objects.
It's a small scale operation
π︎ 46
π
︎ Jul 18 2020
My friend and I just started a business where we weigh tiny objects.
Itβs a small scale operation.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Nov 08 2019
I call my wife the sex object.
Anytime i want sex, she objects.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jun 02 2020
My friends and I started a business where we weigh really tiny objects.
Itβs a small scale operation.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Oct 01 2019
I just started my own business where we weigh tiny objects.
Itβs a small scale operation.
π︎ 333
π
︎ Jan 04 2019
My friend and I started a business where we weigh tiny objects.
Itβs a small scale operation.
π︎ 172
π
︎ Nov 09 2018
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