When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,

I had to put my foot down.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Prototype273
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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What language do impersonators of the King of Rock n' Roll sing in?

Elvish

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance

She had a leg up the whole time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/penny_eater
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Julie Andrews’ Daily Schedule: 1. Impersonate Homer Simpson 2. Read about bushcraft 3. Watch ludicrously silly play 4. Replace button on blouse 5. Start making coffee flavoured bread

D’oh, Ray Mears, Farce, Sew, Latte Dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raoul24601
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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I once tried to hire a Prince impersonator for a Party...

... What do you know. It's not that Symbol.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cosmore
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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Have you seen RuPaul's Barbara Streisand impersonation? She is called

RuBarb

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hann1980
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?

Crocabilly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AssassinJ2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
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My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with impersonating a news anchor...

More on this after the break.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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My wife asked me to help her wrap presents...

So I started doing my best human beatbox impersonation.

"Yo! Yo! Presents in da hizzzzzzz!"

She wasn't as amused as I was.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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I can't believe I got arrested for impersonating a politician...

I was just sitting around doing nothing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
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"Hey, aren't you the guy who did that great Shaggy impersonation at karaoke last night?"

"It wasn't me."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/durgwin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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This guy stops in a second hand petshop looking for a last minute Christmas gift for his wife.

The shop owner directs him to a 1,500$ parrot who can sing Christmas carols. The man doesnt believe the store owner and asks him for proof before dropping the 1,500. The store owner locks the doors and escorts the man to the back of the store and tells him β€œThis is a very special parrot, before he sings you must warm him up by holding a lit match 12 inches beneath.” He then takes out a match, lights it and holds it a rulers length beneath the parrot. After a few moments the parrot starts sining β€œjingle bells” in the tone of Frank Sinatra. Thinking this might be some cheap parlor trick he asks for several more demonstrations.. β€œRudolph” β€œFrosty the Snowman” β€œDrummer Boy” even β€œI Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” in the best impersonations he’s ever heard! The man gladly hands over the cash and rushes home to amaze his wife. He holds the match a rulers length and nothing. The wife laughingly says he got ripped off. β€œ No no honey this works watch” he does it again only holding it half a rulers length this time and still nothing! The wife, laughing hysterically, starts going back upstairs. β€œNO honey it really works watch!” β€œIm going to bed, Merry Christmas” says the wife as she turns to head up the stairs. β€œWAIT Honey, one more time, please!” He pulls out another match, this time holding it three inches under the parrot who then squawks out β€œCHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hipphazy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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I just did a great leprechaun impersonation. Irish you all had heard it.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyeyedmcgee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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Hear about the Lady Gaga impersonator getting arrested for assault?

She was doing Poke-her Face.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
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What do you call a Shia LeBeouf impersonator with a 5 o’clock shadow?

Shia LeScruff

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jhams3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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Want to learn how to stop impersonating race cars?

Don't weeeeoooww

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
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Why did the Wolverine impersonator keep his job a secret?

He was afraid to come out of the claw-set.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SammiKS
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
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I just saw an FDR impersonator...

He did a Great Impression.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMillionthSam
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2017
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What do you call a Saddam Hussein impersonator?

A saddist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XxSaint_JimmyxX
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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My dad got arrested last week for impersonating a lollipop man...

I didn't realise it at first but all the signs were there

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rozzer6077
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
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What do you call a Dwayne Johnson impersonator?

A Sham-Rock! Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wellsdb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2017
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So I heard there's this new Elvis impersonator in Vegas... but he came from India

He performs under the name Elvis Singh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/john_dune
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2017
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What do you call a Secret Agent Potato?

A Good Imperson-tater

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterMitch8
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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A bit of an overdone dad-joke from a Shaq impersonator

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHmLWJ8TYuk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baconinstitute
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2016
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Dad Joked by a Thomas Jefferson Impersonator at Work Today

Would this be considered a dad joke or an 18/19th century dad joke? Either way, I just about walked out the building after reading this.

ME: Hi Tom,

Thank you for taking the time to speak with me today and if there is anything we can do in the future, please don't hesitate to ask.

I was hoping you would be able to leave a Yelp review for other potential clients to see. I know that we will not be working together anymore, but we would really appreciate the feedback.

Thomas Jefferson: Matt,

Happy to offer you an encomium, however, I know of no connection between hounds striking the line of scent on a fox and complimenting a business enterprise of the 21st century.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smashfield5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2016
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My wife despises a certain condiment

I asked if she had ever heard of the local horse impersonator? That man neighs!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmeanmustid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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I'm taking an improv class [shaggy dog]

and today, we were playing a game of "Yes, Let's!" If you're unfamiliar, that's a group improv exercise where one person says "Let's do a thing!" and everybody else replies "Yes, let's!" and then proceeds to act out the scene. After acting out said scene, somebody freezes, then everybody freezes, and then someone else starts one.

In this case, it was "Let's go to a Michael Jackson tribute concert!" Now, we'd just been coached to assume distinct roles in an attempt to construct a coherent narrative, and so I, as an awkward, scrawny, blond white man, slipped effortlessly into the role of a shitty Michael Jackson impersonator. And I must have been doing something right, because the rest of the group quickly formed a scene as the audience, security, and crew, and stupidity ensued as I sucked at being Michael Jackson for all I was worth.

A few people started heckling, and then one of the audience members barged past security and mimed punching me in the head, whereupon I dramatically spun and dropped to the floor with a resounding THUD (knowing how to fall is a useful skill). The reaction was about a third laughs, a third stage-gasps, and a third just confusion. But I did get a few compliments after the exercise on my impression and my theatrics.

So I'd say that was a pretty big hit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teuast
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2017
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www.dadjokeoftheday.com

My girlfriend asked me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2016
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The day I (first) one-upped my dad's joke:

One day my dad & I were driving home from fishing and a Neil Diamond song was on the radio. My dad said, "This is actually an impersonator called Neil Sapphire." I immediately responded, "Don't you mean Neil Cubic Zirconia?" His groan was priceless to me back then, and I'm waiting for the day my son will do that to me.

(true story from ~30 years ago)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wj333
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2016
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In Branson with my S/O

She sees a billboard and groans.

"What?" I say.

"Look at that sign, I already know what you're going to say."

The Sign reads, "LIVE: Elvis impersonator!" ^ ^ "Well I've heard he's WAY better than the DEAD Elvis impersonator."

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
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Plumbing problems, dad joking the wife

We have recently been having problems with the plumbing, water draining very slowly etc. We tried different chemicals on different days to try and fix it before biting the bullet and getting someone clear them for us.

First day I started out with HCl and told my wife I was "going off to drop some acid." She groaned.

A few days later we switched to NaOH and I brushed my hair to the side and asked my wife if she liked my Skrillex impersonation. She told me it wasn't a very good impersonation. I said "hold your judgment for when I drop the base.".... She threatened me with a knife and told me to get out while laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kactusotp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2014
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I was just watching Star Wars episode 3 with some friends and got to this scene...

PadmΓ© "hold me, Anakin. Like the way you used to on Naboo..."

Me (impersonating Anakin) "Nah boo, it ain't like dat"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baker97
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2015
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So I was driving with my dad from breakfast...

...and I was telling him about how my friend's grandma pronounced WIFI like "wifee"

Then I did an impersonation of her

"oh Laurence, could ya come over and fix my wifee? My wifee isn't working."

To which he responded "lady, I don't think your wifee has been workin' for a while now."

Heh.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2013
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When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo

I had to put my foot down

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rfcoc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.

So I had to put my foot down

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cc1963
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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The other day my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,

I had to put my foot down

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYRion7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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My friends told me to stop impersonating a flamingo

So I had to put my foot down

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PinkShrimpz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
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My friends kept telling to stop impersonating a flamingo

After enough of it I had to put my foot down

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jchauncey003
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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My husband told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.

I had to put my foot down.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/myissy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2018
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When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.

I had to put my foot down.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
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When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,

I had to put my foot down.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Denis0913
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
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When they told me to stop impersonating a flamingo...

... I put my foot down.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostfromTexas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.

I had to put my foot down.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pennywise32
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
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My wife constantly orders me around Today she told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.

I had to put my foot down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gazcobain
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2016
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