I received a verifiable threat against my Boston cream pie

So I had it placed in protective custardy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeisureSuitLaurie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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Always verify the price of your pie.

You never want to be surprised by a pie rate...arr!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GlassDeviant
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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When life gives you melons

You’re probably dyslexic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/j-crz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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How to fall down the stairs

step 1

step 2

step 5

step 9

step 11

step 14

step 19

step 23

*Results may vary

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_BlNG_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2017
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What kind of light bulbs do they use in Machu Picchu?

Incandescent.

Edit: Sorry you guys got downvoted to oblivion for loling.
This sub isn't listed as being for or against dogecoin tips, so here are some to make up for the downvotes. :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLobstrosity
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2014
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In Texas a car passes us with Superman sticker and a Colorado license plate.

I read license plate - "Where do you think he's from?"

Dad - "Well I think he's from Krypton."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheezy_fingers
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2016
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And they kept rolling...

I was grabbing dinner with a bud and we were talking about me heading to his place to do car work - I don't know how to change my oil nor have the space so I'm doing it at my buds place. The following conversation ensues after we verify plans to change my oil:

Bud: Oh, hey, do you know how to rotate your tires properly?

Me: I know you have to take them off then switch positions.

Bud: No, you jack the car up then spin them a bit!

Guffaws were had.

sidebar, to properly rotate tires, front tires go on opposite back tires and back tires go straight forward Front left goes back right, back right goes front right, etc.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dooky710
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2016
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My friend got me the other day.

The other day I was shopping with my friend and I saw that a bag of pears was $9 and decided that was too expensive. He told me that the price was for two bags and when I looked at the sign to verify, he pointed out that it was for a pear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talongie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2015
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Every. Time.

So I'm standing with my dad in the grocery line and he's paying with his credit card.

Cashier: May I have your signature sir? (To verify his credit identity).

Dad: Am I that famous?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xaiqwontai
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2014
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