True story: So we were out today and sat at a table for some food. My 4yo asked what the holes and and notches were in the wood and my wife says β€œthey are knot holes”.

Miss4 says β€œif they are not holes, what are they?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyGere
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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I use the notches on my belt to monitor how much weight I'm losing

Every hole's a goal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LashGips
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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I’ve nether seen that Notch puns in one picture
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiziouzou4life
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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top notch science puns
πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/socksgrowonbushes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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My butt surgeon was top notch

He came highly rectal-mended

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Say what you want about the iPhone X but

You can't deny it had a top notch screen.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Burpmeister
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Are they making this pun because the 2020 iPhones won't have a notch?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tails618
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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His pun skills are top notch
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yashT19
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
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This Twitter bio is top-NOTCH
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πŸ‘€︎ u/verifypassword__
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2017
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A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"

πŸ‘︎ 735
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomCanBe
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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Did you hear that the Indian restaurant hired a new delivery guy?

He’s a top-notch curry-er.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mondata
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Decided to turn things up a notch in the bedroom by seasoning my junk.

Turns out it's just a waste of thyme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spitting_Moose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
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The CFL's Calgary Stampeders have some top notch twitter punning twitter.com/calstampeders…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gutterferret
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2016
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Gave a top notch dad joke to my boyfriend today.

Looking at photos of our escapades from earlier in the day my boy friend comments on his new experimental man bun.

Me: "It looks top knot...ch to me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lumenent
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2015
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Top notch material at the Rusty Nail bar

On vacation in Cape May in New Jersey, and there is a bar called the Rusty Nail. Conversation went like this: Me: "Oh look the Rusty Nail" Dad: "Yeah let's go get HAMMERED at the Rusty Nail!" Heard the sighs from inside the bar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tylera102
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2014
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Advanced IQ Dad Joke

So I heard Minecraft recently passed Fortnite as most searched game.

Whoever made the game must have really brought it up a Notch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Overlevendeftw
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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Some people believe that the creator of Minecraft is Bill Gates.

Well, he's Notch.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carapuceau
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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Pun Request: Muay Thai/Martial Arts Related Puns

I'm running an email distro list and have to include a pun every week related to Muay Thai. Can you guys help me with some suggestions? I'm really running out of steam after a couple of months on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/muaythaipunsplz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2015
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Google Pixel 3XL

Notch your average phone.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Loath3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
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I just used the iPhone X for the first time and it is..

Top Notch

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CleverD3vil
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
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Not a joke, just some appreciation

I only made this so I didn't have to comment on hundreds of posts, so delete if you want to, mods. I found you glorious bastards literally seconds ago. These puns are absolutely top-notch. Keep up the good work you guys!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Th3_Shr00m
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2017
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Bullseye!

I was in a hunting store with my dad and there was a pretty nice sale on some bows there. I was chit-chatting with the cashier and said, "Man, these sales are making me quiver." The cashier thought it was the funniest thing ever :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brutus64
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2014
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The guy who made Minecraft is pretty...

TOP NOTCH

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flynn_The_Fox
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
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Buddy of mine brought me a late Christmas present at work today

He and I are constantly messaging/texting each other puns/dad jokes all the time, so he decided to take it up a notch for Christmas: http://i.imgur.com/adLQdap.jpg

EDIT: The bag is sugar by the way. Guess who's bringing in lemonade after the weekend.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheUltraFA
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2017
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You can't share nachos...

Dad: did ya know you can't share nachos? Me: no (trying to kill what I knew was to come) Dad: ask me why? Me: <sigh> why can't you share nachos? Dad: Because they're MINE, notch yos! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I miss you, Daddy <3

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ezziboo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2013
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Secretary yelled at my mom & dad, hit her with this gem

Before I was born my parents lived in Philadelphia. My mom was about 7 months along when they were referred by a friend of a friend to this pediatrician who was top notch. They were on their way for the first visit to the new doctors and they were running late. They walked into a crowded waiting room and went to the front glass and checked in. The secretary started yelling at my mother and father saying this is Dr. so and so, he is a top class physician, people wait years to get on his waiting list, AND YOU'RE LATE!

And my father goes "OF COURSE SHES LATE THATS HOW YOU END UP AT A PEDIATRICIAN'S OFFICE!"

Even the secretary cracked a smile as everyone else groaned and laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Honeydipper_Dan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2014
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GF got me with this last night while watching our favorite BBC car show

Me: "The cinematography for this show really is top notch." Her: "No babe, it's Top Gear."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StringFu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2014
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I just bought an iPhone X

The phone is good but the screen is top notch!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cy_nide
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
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