Attire
Then, I saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.
It was addressed, 'Dad'.
With the worst premonition, I opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands:
"Dear, Dad.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I've been finding real passion with Stacy.
She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad.
She's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.
We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better.
She sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, your son, Joshua.
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true.
I'm over at Jason's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table.
Call when it is safe for me to come home!"
Attire
If you look up the word "flabby".
Sorry, it's a picture!
eye love you.
The guy that sits next to me at work was cleaning out his drawer. He knows that I like tea, and found some in the drawer.
Coworker " Hey, Here's some cranberry apple tea you can have."
(I didn't even think, The dad joke just happened)
Me " Cranberry Apple huh? That's not really my.. Cup of.. Tea"
Him "Groan, nice pun"
he said "yeah, you too"
edited for spelling
I guess it's worth a shot.
microchips
But somehow I always finish before my wife does
But it's full of words I've never even herbivore.
It's saved in the dad-a-base
They have a lot of FrenchShips.
It's like I never knew herbivore.
So I went home
Everything it wished for, it wasn't knotty.
I didn't understand the gravity of the situation.
Edit: thanks for the awards, kind strangers!
Gamora: "I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy."
Such an incel
A tractor
7 was a well known 6 offender
An assassin
.
Edit: thank you guys so much for the rewards! I was told this joke from my 9 year old sister, she was well chuffed to see all the votes and people thinking she was funny
[removed]
"Look at what kids your age make in China!"
A tire.
A tire
