I did it, I finally did it. After 4 years and 92 days I went from being a father, to a dad.
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
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︎ Jan 01 2022
They had some nerve posting this in r/TIHI
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︎ Jan 31 2021
A coworker of mine spilled boiling hot coffee on my leg and had the nerve to ask where it hurts
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︎ Apr 15 2021
A cheesy pun thatβll grate on your nerves
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︎ Feb 01 2021
I had a nerve conduction test
They send electricity through your nerves to see the response time. I was shocked to find out I have carpel tunnel syndrome.
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︎ Mar 29 2021
Why are skeletons always so calm and collected?
Because nothing gets under their skin, and their joints work.
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︎ Oct 25 2021
I failed my medical school entrance exam last week, thanks to nerves.
The correct answer was blood vessels.
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︎ Dec 29 2020
He's on da nerve
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︎ Dec 04 2019
Why cant you annoy a skeleton?
You cant get under their skin!
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︎ Oct 21 2021
Memes are getting on my nerves
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︎ Nov 03 2019
Vaccine side effects
One of the common side effects of the COVID vaccine is pain caused by swollen lymph nodes.
I don't know about you, but they are really getting on my nerves.
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︎ Jan 09 2022
A man in a drug trial died from a complication which dissolved his pneumogastric nerve, the coroner listed the cause of death as...
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︎ Sep 23 2020
Seems like just about everywhere is short staffed these days...
Where do all of these average to tall people get the nerve to just not work anymore?
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︎ Jan 24 2022
I can't believe somebody had the nerve to break into my house and steal my limbo stick.
I mean seriously, how low can you go?
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︎ Jun 06 2020
The nerves of this guy!
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︎ Aug 09 2017
Is it just me or does oddly shaped fruit really get on your nerves?
Eh, maybe I'm just being pear-annoyed.
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︎ Jan 04 2019
I lost all feeling in my butt nerves. I'm not joking.
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︎ Dec 13 2019
Which cranial nerve is pictured here ? (See comments)
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︎ Jul 27 2017
why are robots so brave?
because they have nerves of steel
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︎ Oct 17 2021
A guy who steals copper pipe, thats just a common vandal.
But a guy with nerve to steal plastic plumbing, he's developed his skills to level of a PEX predator.
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︎ Nov 02 2021
You know what really gets on my nerves?
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︎ Aug 03 2019
I went on a road trip with my friend Ruth
After a while she started to get on my nerves so I drove home without her.
I was ruthless.
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︎ Sep 27 2021
Someone had the nerve to laugh at my enormous hands
I killed him with my bear hands.
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︎ Nov 09 2018
Found this in my phone from a while ago...trying to calm my friend's nerves about getting breast implants. (X post from r/texts)
imgur.com/N7nfIlL
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︎ Oct 11 2013
Why do mathematicians get on their nerves easily?
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︎ May 24 2019
Where does a cardiologist go on holiday?
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︎ Apr 12 2021
I sent this pun to my friend.
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︎ Mar 21 2021
My friend with anger issues decided to take up golf to calm his nerves...
He became teed off when he teed off into the trees...
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︎ Mar 03 2019
Don't put it on him
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Gandhi walked the desert with no shoes, no food, and no tooth brush, my friend had the nerve to say.
I guess he was a super-calloused-fragile-mystic-fraught-with-halitosis.
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︎ Feb 13 2018
My girlfriend told me that I'm getting on her nerves
I put my hand on her and said "no, now I'm on your nerves"
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︎ Jun 19 2017
I figured out why I am so shy and awkward
A main part of my body is called the nervous system
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︎ Dec 21 2020
where are noses made?
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︎ May 07 2020
Can someone connect mental health and dentistry in a pun?
I hope this appropriate to ask here. I am going to create a mental health support group on Facebook for Australian/New Zealand dental students and am needing a catchy/punny name. Currently there exists two mental health support groups that I know of on Facebook, both for dentists and not students. One is called Mental Dental and the other is called The Mental Block (alluding to the mental nerve in dentistry), so obviously I can't use those.
I'm not great with word games/etc so really appreciate any help. Thank you!
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︎ Sep 21 2020
I'm tired of waiting for my PA to finish my return
It's really taxing my nerves.
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︎ Mar 24 2021
I just spent 3 hours vacuum up spiders in the basement
And this ungrateful woman has the nerve to tell me βthatβs not what I meant when I said I want you to clean out my cobwebsβ
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︎ Mar 04 2021
What do you call a shepard that's always cutting costs?
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︎ Feb 08 2020
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?
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︎ Dec 23 2017
As a Physician I love checking for peoples reflexes,
I get a real kick out of it.
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︎ Sep 10 2018
I recently failed my Medical College entrance exam because of nerves.
The correct answer was blood vessels.
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︎ Jun 15 2020
Why are skeletons so calm?
Nothing gets under there skin
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︎ Sep 15 2021
You know what really gets on my nerves?
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︎ Dec 01 2018
You know what really gets on my nerves?
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 19 2019
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
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︎ Nov 01 2019
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