I asked people what their favourite natural disaster was...

Avalanches won by a landslide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BernardoPiedade
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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Sleeping comes so naturally to me.

I could do it with my eyes closed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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Respect nature, my deer
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Planet_A
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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You wouldn't know it by looking at him, but my friend is a natural at remodeling kitchens.

He's counter intuitive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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I guess it's time to answer the call of Nature..πŸ’©
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unrealhumour
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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the stonefish has no natural predator to fear from....

...except the paperfish, which is supposed to be even more superior.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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Nature just loves when Spring comes around...

I mean just look at the trees, they're re-leaf-ed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayWolf85
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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Naturally Smart

What do you call a naturally born smart person?

A gene-ious

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jslee_beats0608
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Nature's call
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hobowithadegree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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The board is back in it's natural habitat.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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Why do people hate lobsters

Cause there clawfaul

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πŸ‘€︎ u/guest1928349284
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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What did 2n+1 say to 2n?

I literally can't even

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plainrane
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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What’s the coolest way to die?

Hypothermia

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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I've often wondered, are people with photographic memories born with that ability..

..or does it just take time to develop ?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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I'm going to sell my Hoover

It's just collecting dust.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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Let me tell you a joke about a vacuum

Never mind. It sucks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thecataclysmo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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Natural numbers fail to understand the importance of decimal numbers.

They always miss the point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keychainoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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The natural beauty of Mt Rushmore, before it was carved,

was unpresidented.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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A rare picture of ground in its natural habitat
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrTomas150
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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Natural log FTW!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MohanBhargava
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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You can find many natural remedies…

In a farm-acy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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My roomba went out my front door and a pack of bears attacked it, an eagle carried it away to the ocean, and a shark finished it off.

Nature abhors a vacuum.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dingogordy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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They said plastic is bad for nature

That's why I used it indoors

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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My Roomba accidentally went out the front door, and the neighborhood animals immediately started attacking it.

Nature abhors a vacuum.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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Nature is healing imgur.com/KpIQvu4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ihrie82
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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My late Dad was a rebellious Chef by nature. He taught me to never..

..play by the Rouxs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

"It's a date!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Arguing over current events is perfectly natural, but there’s a time and a place.

It makes people uncomfortable when they see you mask debating in public.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimgolgari
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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An actual headline in Bloomberg news this morning:

"Saudi Arabia Oil Fears Look Well Founded."

I love it when these things occur in nature!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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The beauty store told me their soap is 100% natural but I found out it wasn't

It was just a Lye

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amranwag
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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My 4 year old cousin told me that cows make milk. So naturally I told her the brown cows make chocolate milk. And her jaw hit the floor. I then told her that pink cows make strawberry milk and then she caught me in my lie and said...

No, pigs do that!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball_hawk15
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Saw a bird in the bushes. Nature is healing, we are the problem.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kazmaaaaa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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I asked people's favorite natural disaster was.

It was the hurricane, it blew the competition away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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Nature is beautiful
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jout-12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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A cat that is naturally good at navigating kitchen surfaces is counter intuitive.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bargeral
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Why do gamers hate nature?

Because it is full of bugs.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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I watched an amazing nature documentary tonight, it was about the American coyote.

In order to catch its prey it constructed a cunning trap of a grand piano suspended above a target, it then baited the trap with seed and lay in wait for a road runner to pass by.

Very interesting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Before Mount Rushmore was carved, it’s natural beauty was...

Unpresidented.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YellowFlash384
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Before Mount Rushmore was cut in

It’s natural beauty was unpresidented

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robindc_93
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Dang it, Mt Rushmore was so beautiful before it was carved out...

Its natural beauty was honestly unpresidented

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ramiel01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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