Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent
Desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
He ate his food before it was cool
They gargoyle
Daughter: Dad, it's really STUPID out there today. You'd better take your dumbrella.
Me: I've never been more proud.
Tulips
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
Because they don't have pockets.
...and says, "Hygiene".
He gave me knightmares.
A tongue depressor.
AITA?
But that's ok. It was acci-dental.
This fact is just mind-blowing.
A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
It's a running gag.
When she asked why I responded βyouβll get salmon-Ella!β
She said "I'm having a light snack."
βBecause we donβt need depth perception with our mouths β was his technically correct answer
I know this story may sound a little fishy, some of you may even consider it a whale of a tale, but if you take it in tide Iβm sure youβll sea the porpoise isnβt me just beingkoi or * squidding* around or fishing for attention; it was shrimply an act of cod that Iβm hooked on sharing with others. If it reely makes anyone crabby or puts me on thin ice, just let minnow and Iβll gladly clam up. Iβd hate to see this sub flounder or take a dive because of my own shellfish ambitions.
I didn't mean to harm Monica.
It was a running gag.
Yeah. He was an offensive lineman.
Then it becomes a soap opera
...I fell on my awt supplies and it went stwaight up my wectum"
Suddenly it became a soap opera.
Lips gloss
Ugly.
I asked him if he was a mushroom?
"No??"
"Because you're being really shit-talky right now"
One of my proudest moments
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent
Global chaos ensues.
The disease wipes out 99% of humanity, and the desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
He ate pizza before it was cool
Now when I talk I have this weird Axe Scent
He ate the pizza before it was cool
This fact is just mind-blowing.
He ate it before it was cool. π€¦π»ββοΈ
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
He ate the pizza before it was cool
He ate the pizza before it was cool
Then it's a soap opera
