18 Hilarious Mother And Father Puns

When people ask about my heritage, I tell them there is an unfortunate side effect of my mother being Italian and my father being Polish ....

I’ll make you an offer I can’t understand.

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👤︎ u/DarthLukas71

📅︎ Oct 15 2020

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Why is it my mother tongue and not my father tongue?

Because my mom doesn't allow my dad to say anything

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/moiKeshav

📅︎ Sep 17 2020

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A family was out hunting and the mother said it was time to go. The father replied, I’ll be right there, let me just...

shoulder this bird, hun.

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👤︎ u/VeryOriginalName98

📅︎ Sep 23 2020

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Mother’s and Father’s day only happens once every year

But Son day happens once every week

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/EarlBoiBlue

📅︎ May 11 2020

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What's sometimes your mother, sometimes your father and always made of glass?

Transparent.

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/TheOneTruJordan

📅︎ Dec 10 2019

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Why couldn’t the ghost see his mother and father?

They were transparents

👍︎ 28

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👤︎ u/mole555

📅︎ Oct 02 2019

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Only once a year there's Mother's Day and Father's Day, ...

... but every week there's a sunday.

👍︎ 26

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👤︎ u/stgm_at

📅︎ Dec 19 2019

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What are Transformer’s mother and father called?

Transparent

👍︎ 13

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👤︎ u/Cheesus-Fugget

📅︎ Nov 28 2019

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My parents were in the Iron & Steel business. My mother irons and my father steals

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👤︎ u/gmaxis

📅︎ Dec 24 2018

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My mother is from a city in Ireland, and my father is Japanese.

I am corkasian.

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👤︎ u/PM_ME_XBOX__CODES

📅︎ Dec 09 2016

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At home my father desses like my mother and my mother dresses like my father, this is what it looks like.

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/BlazingMetal

📅︎ Jun 14 2017

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What’s another word for mothers and fathers?

I’m not going to tell you; the answer is apparent.

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👤︎ u/la_espina

📅︎ Dec 03 2017

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My father and I have trained my mother well

Me: I'll just go to the bank on Monday.

Mom: The banks aren't open tomorrow.

Me: What stupid holiday is it now?

Mom: Leif Erikson Day...

cue my eyes rolling

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👤︎ u/dsubandbeard

📅︎ Oct 08 2017

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Asked my dad to take a picture of my friend and I at our father/daughter, mother/son dance.. This is what I get back, he's hilarious. imgur.com/z65ySyg

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👤︎ u/Foxtrotter15

📅︎ Oct 21 2013

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So my mother and father got divorced recently...

I visited him today and he looked a bit down. I asked him if he was alright. "No, I'm half left." God damn it dad.

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👤︎ u/chrisc908

📅︎ Dec 03 2013

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Discussing the fallic household with my mother and father.

My mother has given birth to 5 boys, no girls, of which I am the oldest. Sitting at dinner after two of my younger brothers duked out, my mother begins...

"There are too many penises in this house!"

Dad replied, "Oh, you're just jealous."

"No, I'm not. I much prefer my boobs."

"Sounds like you're in denial."

I chimed in, "Don't you mean penile?"

I was rewarded with a hearty chuckle from my father and a roll of the eyes from my mother. The signs of a good days work.

👍︎ 12

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👤︎ u/NotYourLocalCop

📅︎ Jan 02 2014

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What's sometimes your mother, sometimes your father and always made of glass?

Transparent,

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/TheOneTruJordan

📅︎ Dec 10 2019

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My parents were in the Iron & Steel business. My mother irons and my father steals

👍︎ 17

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👤︎ u/gmaxis

📅︎ Dec 09 2018

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