I won’t date models anymore

They’re all posers.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/New-Spell-6838
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2022
🚨︎ report
I'd like to introduce our two new plastic clothing models

Manny and Ken

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2022
🚨︎ report
A witch was flying on her broom when she noticed that all the witches she passed were flying on vacuum cleaners.

She thought to herself, "Am I the only one who still drives a stick?"

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2022
🚨︎ report
At work today I bent over to pick something up and inadvertently showed some of my butt crack. My boss immediately called me out for it and despite me being a model employee he fired me on the spot.

All that company cares about is the bottom line.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2022
🚨︎ report
I posed as a nude model the other day

I didn't get paid, but I got a lot of exposure

πŸ‘︎ 132
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2022
🚨︎ report
Why should you ask a runway model for advice when asking your partner to marry you?

They know how to propose

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrewYHM
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2022
🚨︎ report
I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to get the Star Wars model I want because it's so expensive.

Fortunately the store has a Leia Way program.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rorymccommidhe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2022
🚨︎ report
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked if it was to scale

"No," I said. "It's to look at."

πŸ‘︎ 390
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πŸ‘€︎ u/namocaw
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2022
🚨︎ report
I'm creating a tenth-scale model of a theater where I plan to host comedy roasts.

It's a mock-up.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2022
🚨︎ report
What's Captain Picard's favourite size of model train?

N gauge.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2022
🚨︎ report
Why did the prospector stop modeling?

It didn’t β€œpan” out.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VK-TheReaper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2022
🚨︎ report
Models of dragons...

are not to scale.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2022
🚨︎ report
i told my daughter that the circus was in town and i got to work on the clown car today. it was a fancy luxury model.

It had all the bells and whistles.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mttowns
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
🚨︎ report
A pastor tried to model his sermons after memes of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

He was a copy pasta.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SolWishing12
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
🚨︎ report
what pants do french models wear?

Francypants!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HyruleHer01
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2022
🚨︎ report
Bigfoot is the best role model

Even when no one believes in him, he probably still believes in himself.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Syn_n
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2022
🚨︎ report
My biggest role model is Caesar

I make sure to have an orgasm once a day, cut some wood for our fireplace and agree with everyone I know.

Then I can go to bed at end of the day thinking to myself β€œI came, I saw, I conquered”.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JE_12
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2022
🚨︎ report
I'm building a model zombie but it's not finished yet.

I'm still fleshing it out.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Masselein
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2022
🚨︎ report
A man makes 3D models of birds. What part of the world does he come from?

He scanned an avian.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaroniusRodin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you call the space between a super models boobs?

Silicon valley

πŸ‘︎ 310
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Livid_Stable3371
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I really had to go to the bathroom in the middle of my shift painting model cars

It was a Doo or Dye situation.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caffinatorpotato
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2022
🚨︎ report
Did you know Tesla came out with a model exclusively in Canada?

It's a Model Eh

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2k6kid50
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2021
🚨︎ report
A lot of people really like the new steering wheel on the Tesla Model S and Cybertruck.

However, I just think it's a yoke.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyanobyte
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2022
🚨︎ report
I know 2 attractive women who pose in ads for a local bakery

They're great roll models

πŸ‘︎ 664
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xenu66
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2022
🚨︎ report
My clothing store is using a life sized Darth Vader figurine to model their clothing line

I, for one, really enjoy mannequin skywalker

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_aim_to_sneeze
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2022
🚨︎ report
(This actually got my wife to laugh and not cringe!) What do you call a piece of photogenic bread?

A Roll Model.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AKhakiNerfHerder
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2022
🚨︎ report
Apple has just announced a line of smart pirate wear

The first launch being the iPatch

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LosBruun
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2022
🚨︎ report
I just bought a new model of self-driving car from Tesla

and it drives me crazy

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vietlinh12hoa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
🚨︎ report
I just read a book about how Henry Ford created the Ford Model T.

It was a really interesting auto-biography.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D_Ram_3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
🚨︎ report
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, β€œIs it to scale?” I replied, β€œNo…” /r/3amjokes/comments/rth3…
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/french_crossaintz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you call an armadillo at a fashion show?

A roll model

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2022
🚨︎ report
This morning on the highway my SO and I were overtaken by a car with the same model and color as ours, so I said:

I'm afraid we are getting ahead of ourselves.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kalibabka
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do are Instagram models always getting sick?

Because they're influenzas

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iceberger3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2021
🚨︎ report
A bunch of mathematicians came up with a model for predicting if people would start dancing when they became intoxicated

They named it the Alcorythm

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XaVierDK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What music helps climate scientists relax?

Algorithms.

Edit: As in, Al-gore-rhythms. Al Gore is a big climate change guy, and climate modeling relies heavily on algorithms.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kitiarachan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2022
🚨︎ report
Why did the Pillsbury Doughboy get fired?

He was a bad roll model.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ“…︎ May 13 2022
🚨︎ report
It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly-greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Cap'n Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours as long- time friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he -- even still, as a crusty old man -- was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end, it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/corn_n_potatoes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2022
🚨︎ report
Why should you ask a runway model for advice on how to ask your partner to marry you!

They know how to propose

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrewYHM
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2022
🚨︎ report
I told my son I’d built a model of the Himalayas. β€œTo scale?”, he asked.

β€œNo, just to look at”

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/battshooot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2022
🚨︎ report
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, β€œIs it to scale?” I replied, β€œNo…”

β€œIt’s to look at.”

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I built a model of Mt.Everest and my son asked, "Is it to scale?" I replied "No."

"It's to look at. "

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, β€œIs it to scale?”

I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, β€œIs it to scale?” I replied, β€œNo."

β€œIt’s to look at.”

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperChiChu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2021
🚨︎ report

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