Two cats are on a metal roof. Which one slides off first?
The one with the lowest ΞΌ
π︎ 23
π
︎ Apr 28 2021
Adjective for metal is metallic
But not so for iron which is ironic
π︎ 176
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
How did the orchestra attract heavy metal fans?
π︎ 113
π
︎ Mar 23 2021
Did you hear about the metal shipment that was late?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 09 2021
I had a bunch of metal pipes inside of me after my lung transplant.
Guess they got the wrong organ donor.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
What's the difference between a vacation and metal earplugs?
One is o-cation-al and the other is quiet off tin.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 13 2021
I listen to every type of music except heavy metal
Because heavy metals are toxic.
(I -22f- have created this joke when i was 15, I was waiting for an opportunity to disgust people with it. So here you go reddit lol)
π︎ 205
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
What high-class car is best for metal-heads?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
Italica
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Mar 26 2021
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
π︎ 168
π
︎ Dec 25 2020
I used to get small shocks every time I touched metal objects, but I don't anymore.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Mar 07 2021
I like to listen to music as I fall asleep, so I tuned the radio to the Metal station
I've always been a heavy sleeper.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 05 2021
Why do fairies burn when in contact with metal?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
Our first single is "Bread or Alive."
π︎ 79
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
Iβve got a device consisting of a circular canopy of pink fish on a folding metal frame supported by a central rod, used as protection against rain.
Now I have salmonella.
(Iβm sorry, itβs a fishy joke)
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
Metal Fan
π︎ 22
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
What kind of net catches metal?
π︎ 22
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
In Yosemite, I once found a chunk of metal that was more dense in the center of it.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
I joined to pieces of metal today without nuts and bolts or welding
The whole process was riveting
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
My favorite part of the morning is the sound of pouring coffee into my metal thermos
Itβs the little tings in life, ya know?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 23 2021
Why did the metal like the magnet?
Because it was attractive
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
2 metal workers got married....
It was a beautiful welding.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
i am deaf on both ears after working at the metal factory
I guess heavy metal is not good for my ears
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
Studying Chemistry at the moment, I just learned that Sulphuric acid should never be left in a metal beaker..
..It's an oxidant waiting to happen.
π︎ 45
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
What's a windmills favourite music?
Idk but I did hear they are a big metal fan.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 10 2021
A huge metal fan
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Nov 25 2019
Son: Daddy I can't sleep
Me: Don't worry son, I'll sing you a lullaby.
Me: Hush little baby, don't say a word.
Me: And never mind that noise you heard.
Me: It's just the beasts, under your bed.
Me: In your closet, IN YOUR HEEEEEEAAAAD!
Me: EXIIIITTT LIIIIGGGHHHT!!!! ...... EEENNTTTERRRR NIIIIGGGHHT!!!
taken from dad jokes
π︎ 21
π
︎ Apr 14 2021
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
Why did the Cows return to the marijuana field?
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
Edit: Thank you for the awards.
I was expecting this to go noticed like most of my other posts. You peeps rock!
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together
At first itβs boring and then itβs Riveting!
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
So two wind turbines are standing in a field when one asks the other βwhat kind of music do you like?β
The second replies βIβm a big metal fanβ
Courtesy of my 10 year old!
π︎ 19
π
︎ Apr 20 2021
I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.
Turns out...it was a safe purchase.
π︎ 111
π
︎ Jul 17 2020
Metal fan
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Oct 12 2019
My uncle's friend won the Olympic gold with an epee made from a disposable thin metal sheet often used in cooking...
It was a good aluminum foil
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
How do you know all woodpeckers love heavy metal music?
Because theyβre all head bangers. (Credit to my 11 year old).
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
Two giant windmills are out on a hilltop. One turns to the other and asks, "what kind of music do you like? "
The other one says, "I'm a really big metal fan."
π︎ 24
π
︎ Apr 29 2021
Harry Houdini was allergic to the metal they used to make handcuffs...
Every time they put a pair on him, he'd break out.
π︎ 53
π
︎ Aug 12 2020
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
I ordered some big metal letters.
I wanted to make a sign that said "YOU & ME". So, I ordered some big metal letters.
When they arrived, the box was very damaged. I checked if everything was there, but the iron E was lost on me.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
A man goes up to a wind turbine.
Man: Are you a fan of music
Turbine: Yeah Iβm a big metal fan
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 02 2021
I have a car made of tungsten and lead
I'm really into heavy metal
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 06 2021
Hi a huge metal fan, I'm dad
π︎ 104
π
︎ Jun 09 2020
I apopted a dog from a blacksmith today
As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door
π︎ 907
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
Work pun regarding a dewar (large metal tank used for liquid nitrogen)
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
What have you got to add to metal to get heavy metal?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
What's Santa's favourite metal band?
π︎ 60
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
The corresponding adjective for "metal" is "metallic"
But that's not the case for "iron", which is ironic.
π︎ 47
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
Two wind turbines are standing in a wind farm..one turns to the other and says βwhatβs your favorite kind of music?β
He replied βIβm a big metal fan!β
π︎ 99
π
︎ Mar 03 2021
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
