How do cowboys sent secret messages?
I got ten voicemails from Jamaica in the span of an hour. Each message was a separate Bob Marley song.
Some was obviously jammin my phone.
Text message conversation with my dad the other day, where I out-dadded him.
Dad: Give me your best knock knock joke. Or jokes. Do it when you can no rush.
Me: Does it have to be a knock knock joke or can it be any joke?
Dad: Knock Knock.
Me: Who’s there?
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.
wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.
Went to visit my grandpa's final resting place and he left a message for me on his tombstone. I couldn't make out what it was.
It was a very cryptic message.
I sent a message to my crush
A wife sent her husband a romantic text message…
She wrote: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.”
Her husband texted back: “I’m on the toilet, please advise.”
Transcription of a message pic, seen on r/lgbt
Mom: Can you come out?
Kid: Yeah, gimme a minute.
Kid: Mom, I'm gay.
Mom: I know that silly, come out to the car.
Kid: Car, I'm gay.
If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat, don't open it ...
I was asked to put either an inspirational quote or a joke on the message board at work.
Told my wife to message the lawn person
Because we are taking our fence down.
She came back, stopped me, just to ask "Is there a mower emoji?
I said: is that really an emojency?
38, first original joke from an unoriginal dad. Had to share.
I have been accused of writing a long series of messages about the song "I'm Too Sexy"
But I would like to reassure everyone that I did not write said thread.
What do you call a robotic boy that delivers messages?
I got a warning message from a mod saying “my jokes are bringing to much religion and politics into this sub”
I replied saying “let the people in this sub decide, for christ sake”
What do you call an important message to the staff of a building materials company?
Sweet revenge:) (also the edit is because I had to translate the message so sorry about that)
This is by far the best pun of the day , the journalist really drove the message home!
Send me a message if you want to build a boat...
Landed this in a text message thread to my SO
SO (at the market) : What kind of coffee beans do you want?
Me: Anything that doesn't say dark roast
SO: OMG! Hold the phone, I may have found something amazing!
Me: Fun fact, I am already holding the phone.
My Dad comes into my room looking really worried, I ask him what was wrong and if there was anything I could do to help, He responds by saying "I lost the book which had all the photos and message from my friends"
Knowing a slam book could not be replaced I tried consoling him, but I remembered digitalized it for him a year ago I quickly logged on to the PC to check if I had a backup. He quickly smiled and said it had a Blue cover, after about 10mins of searching I asked him if he remembered what I named the book. He burst out and said Facebook.
Frustrated I left the room to find my entire family sitting in the hall, and my mother goes "He did it to you too, didn't he"
And I'm here perplexed by the lengths a dad would go for his jokes.
I had concerned friends message me
A friend sent me a text apologizing for the atrocious grammatical errors in his last message. I told him not to worry
If you get a message from the government warning not to eat tinned meat because is contains Covid-19, just ignore it.
I created a Linux background process for the Message Analysis Test Tool.
I call it the MATT DAEMON!!!
What do you call a consciously imperceivable message travelling at 0.5c?
We should grill this message into people
This is such a moving message
My Reddit account has been hacked. If anyone gets a message from me about meat
Just ignore it, it’s spam.
The Office sent out an automated message to all the junk emails that they were getting
Dunder Mifflin this is spam
The error message on fat bastards screen when his computer crashed
If a paid political message uses a pun to assail a candidate’s character...
Is it an Ad Homonym attack?
A friendship destroying message
My wife sent me a text message only reading "EARTH"
How did Vikings send secret messages?
If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat don’t open it!
If anybody gets a message from me about canned meat
If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat don't open it!
Imagine being held at gunpoint (bear with me) by a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on Reddit.
If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat, don't open it.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
How did the Vikings send secret messages?
How do Vikings send messages ?
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