Algebros
Solid word play
My wife: “I only pooped one turd at my parent’s house.”
Me, a dad: “So you have two turds left?”
But I’m two squared to tell it.
A cow-culator
The little tree grew and grew, one day it said Geometry
but i'm two square to say it.
dad jokes will get you farther
Noah let out all the animals. Two by two, they disembarked from the ark.
As Noah breathed a sigh of relief, the two snakes that were on the ark came up.
“Noah, Noah!” they cried. “Can you get us some logs?”
Noah, groaning, complied with the request.
Months pass. Noah is making some food in his home when the two snakes he gave logs return with their kids. A lot of them.
They ask, “Can you get us more logs?”
Noah, clearly pissed, says, “Fine. But why the hell do you need logs to reproduce?”
The dad snake replies, “Oh, we’re adders, we need logs to multiply.”
I’ll leave out the negative jokes here.
Only the positive ones!
You can tri to stop me,
Adding these together just makes it so much better.
We may be divided because of this,
But not all jokes are made equal,
But y=Mx+b jokes are great, yet at some point we have to draw a line. It’s an especially slippery slope to go down.
But I’m 2² to tell it!
...I tried to tell a series of jokes to my friend to see if any would cheer him up. No Pun In Twelve Did.
It always makes me cosec tired
Teacher: “If acceleration is constant, we get all these really nice formulas. If acceleration is not constant, the math gets messy.”
Me: “You might say that for ruining the math, it’s being a jerk.”
But I don’t want to square you
His answer was p*eternal
but I think he was just being hyperbolic
Well, I don't cm.
I can count them all if you’d like.
But the punchline was irrationalI
But I'm 2^2 to even say it.
The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line...
...only a fraction of people will understand
I turned to a friend next to me: "Will you tell me the answers if I don't know something?"
"No."
"I was counting on you. Now I have to use my hands."
Why did the mathematician get in trouble for showing graph paper to young children.
It was graphic content
”you’re greater than that.”
https://i.imgur.com/pqL3ObE.jpg
If you know you know.
It would be a sin.
"What's 5q + 5q?" he asks
"I don't know... 10q?" I answer
"You're welcome!" he says, laughing.
If you don't get it, say it out loud.
EDIT: If you still don't get it, 10q sounds like "Thank you" (or at least is supposed to).
My Niece posted a photo of her daughter with the caption "My little angle!". I couldn't help my self. I replied "How acute!"
She didn't get it. My son nearly lost it thought.
My son brings home math homework. Son: dad I can’t figure out this question. Dad: well what’s the question? Son: how do you know this is not an acute angle? Dad: that’s easy son! It’s not an ugly one...
Our teacher used to love that joke - 25 years ago...
.
A veteran maths teacher on a crap state-paid salary leaves his local mall and heads for his battered old car. When he has nearly reached it, he sees a big, expensive, luxury vehicle pulling into a parking spot nearby, and when the driver gets out he recognises him as one of the stupidest students he ever had.
He approaches him and the two get chating; and it turns out the guy buys and sells specialised cardboard-boxes which companies use to ship delicate goods in.
Finally the teacher says: "You really seem to have done well for yourself. I must admit that I am a bit surprised. Because you never really were all that talented in shool, were you?"
And the guy smiles and answers: "Yes, well, you know, there is not that much too it, really. I buy cardboard boxes for 1 dollar a piece, and I sell them for 4 dollars a piece. And I live off that 3% profit margin."
but I am 2² to tell you
But I am 2² to say it.
I’m 2^2 to say it.
But I'm 2^2 to say it.
Thing is, I'm 2² to say it.
But I'm 2² to do it
