I fell asleep during Catholic mass.
I'm a Bored Again Christian.
I thought I found a mass grave of snowmen yesterday....
.....but it turned out to be a field of carrots.
What do you call a large land mass that uncontrollably leaks into the ocean?
I asked my Dad “What’s the difference between weight and mass?”
“Well, son. Weight is your size in relation to the Earth’s gravity.
Mass is what Catholics go to Sunday morning.”
Let’s just ignore the fact that would cause mass traffic
This gives a whole new meaning to Mass Shooting!
We have migrated from mass hysteria to mask hysteria.
Where do large sea mammals go to get their body mass measured?
Why is a Catholic Mass like The Gunfight At The O.K. Corral?
Did you hear the one about the mass murderer who only hunted vegetarians?
Electrons have mass?!
I didn’t even know they were catholic!
You're living, you occupy space, and you have mass. You know what that means?
Why doesn’t light have mass?
If it did, it would’ve be called heavy.
A woman is running up the front stairs of a church. She asks the boy sitting at the top, "Is mass out?" The little boy looks at her and says...
"No, but your hat's on crooked."
Churches had to disband when it was announced there would be no more mass gatherings.
They followed the guidance religiously.
I just checked my body mass index. It says I'm a beast
If Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight, there would be mass confusion
Black holes are the biggest mass murderers
High mass in the extraordinary form
Where did they used to mass produce scents and smells?
There was this news reporter who enjoyed incorporating puns into their reports. One day, they had to cover the story of a mass stabbing. Unfortunately, the reporter couldn't think of a pun so they just sighed and went on to report the news how it was...
"Sorry, no pun n' ten dead"
The media says that video games is a main cause for mass shootings
But really, it's music that causes gun violins
How do you measure the mass of a Red Hot Chili Pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
What did the vegan say at mass
Pretty old mass joke ngl
Why doesn't the usa change their measures from pounds to kgs?
Because it would cause mass confusion
Why did the pope wear crocs to mass?
Because they're his holey shoes
A pun walks alone into a mass murder of 10 people..
I was going to make a pun about Mass Effect...
...but I figure if I did, I'd be Asari.
My very religious Aunt attends mass daily.
She says that's because missing church for seven days makes one weak!
I put on a show about grams. It was a mass production
What do you call a white woolly mass snoring on a field?
Dad just texted me this, caused a mass groan when I read it out to the people I was with
Someone through threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me. Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
Did you know that protons have mass?
I didn't even know they were Catholic.
Did you know that protons had mass?
I didn't even know they were catholic.
Did you know that protons have mass?
I didn't even know they were catholic.
Did you know that protons have mass?
I had no clue they were Catholic!
You’re living, you occupy space and you have mass you know what that means... (stolen from tumblr)
Did you know that protons have mass?
I didn't even know they were Catholic
My teacher told me protons have mass.
I didn't know protons were Catholic.
What's the mass of that chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!
You have to be light in order to have no mass.
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