Why do managers never go bowling with their employees?
Because they are afraid of them striking
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︎ Feb 10 2021
My manager thought the smoothie I shared with them was a little too thick...
... They thought it was more of a "roughie"
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︎ Feb 19 2021
I arrived early to the restaurant. The manager said do you mind waiting a bit? I said no.
Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.
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︎ Jan 08 2021
You know, my "manager"...
Sure does a lot of supervising
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︎ Feb 04 2021
Why can you never trust a hedgefund managers fashion advice?
They claim to love shorts but are always seen in pants.
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︎ Feb 04 2021
My manager gave me a disappointed look when he saw my doodle.
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︎ Nov 23 2020
What do you call a ghost asking for the manager?
I donโt know what to call it!!!! It keeps s-Karen me!!!!
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︎ Dec 17 2020
I was working behind the bar today when two guys came in and tried to pay with a couple of counterfeit ยฃ10 notes. When I told the manager, he asked what they looked like..
โLike ยฃ10 notesโ I told him
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Count Dracula is a terrible project manager...
... He always avoid the stakeholders.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
What do you call a car that wants to speak to the manager
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︎ Nov 20 2020
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Two branch managers
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︎ Jul 31 2020
Cowboy goes in to a hotel and says a single room and a wardrobe for my horse. Your horse sir the manager replied!
Yes my horse is a Mustang and it mustang somewhere!
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︎ Sep 29 2020
I got pizza for everyone the day I started my new job as manager...
It was my first order of business
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︎ Jun 28 2020
A good project manager makes updates.
A bad project manager makes up dates.
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︎ Sep 03 2020
Just heard a grocery store manager telling off a young guy on the checkout. โWhyโd you ask that woman with kids for ID? What was she buying?โ
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︎ Sep 19 2020
My daughter and I went to the grocery store yesterday, and we were amazed by the quality of the produce. We spoke with the Department Manager and offered to buy all of their Romaine
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︎ Aug 11 2020
Did you hear a CVS manager had to pee in the forest?
He used the toilet-trees.
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︎ Aug 10 2020
What did the ninja delivery boy say to the office manager when he was delivering an unexpected order of pens, pencils, and paper goods?
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︎ Aug 19 2020
I just got promoted to general manager at the aquarium!
I'm going to have a corner offish and everything!
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︎ May 27 2020
What does a manager in New England and a fish have in common?
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︎ Jul 12 2020
What happened to the bank manager who was all by himself?
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︎ May 18 2020
Why did the safety manager insist that a big pile of LSD be removed immediately from the factory floor?
He felt it was a real tripping hazard.
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︎ Mar 20 2020
Bakery Manager: So why do you want a job here and what qualifications do you have
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︎ Jan 14 2020
Manager: "Why would you make a good waiter at my restaurant?"
Me: "I bring a lot to the table."
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︎ Jan 27 2020
What did the manager at the animation studio say when they completed a movie?
Teamwork makes the Dreamworks
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︎ Dec 24 2019
Why did the bank manager leave his wife?
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︎ Sep 30 2019
Vampires make great project managers
They always try to keep stake holders happy
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︎ Feb 13 2020
I just hired Squirtle as our new Human Resources manager
It used to be Charmander but things tended to get heated. This new guy seems to have cooled things off
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︎ Dec 31 2019
[OC] Why is Sharon demanding to speak to your manager?
Because Sharon is Karen! (โ๏พใฎ๏พ)โ
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︎ Jan 24 2020
Since I became manager of a helium factory, my employee speak very highly of me.
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︎ Oct 08 2019
My dad and I were out for steak last night when the manager came around and asked "How did you find your steak?"
Dad goes, "I just moved the potato and there it was!"
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︎ Feb 25 2017
Why didn't the pro shop manager require another golfer to the trio looking for a tee time?
He didn't want to foursome.
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︎ Nov 19 2019
Sign at a convenience store:Our credit manager is Helen Waite...
If you want credit go to Helen Waite
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︎ Oct 28 2019
Fooled by her manager, she was.
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︎ Jun 04 2018
The manager of a home goods store stops by the lingerie shop to ask about their prices.
The saleswoman says, "For you? A candelabra."
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︎ Oct 09 2019
I was buying my groceries in Prague when the manager approached me asking for my proof of citizenship
Being a US national, I wasnโt allowed to use the self Czech out.
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︎ Aug 30 2019
Manager. Task manager.
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︎ Feb 26 2019
Whatโd the manager say when a waiter dropped three plates in one night?
This is really getting out of hand
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︎ Jun 28 2019
I told the "apparent" joke on the front page to my manager
He asked if I had a book of dumbass jokes.
"No, just Reddit."
"Yeah, out of a book?"
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︎ Feb 08 2018
I hear that the Arctic Monkeys recently sold a Carpet to the current Real Madrid manager.
I bet that it looks good on Zidane's floor.
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︎ Aug 11 2019
The store manager asked me if I could move the Kia that was blocking the exit.
I said that I could, but thatโs not my Forte.
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︎ Oct 21 2018
At work at PetSmart, little boy yells "guess what?! I have 3 knees!!" My manager takes the bait, says "oh yeah?"
He yells "yeah my left one, my right one, and a weeKNEE!" Child giggles ensue. Instilling dad jokes at a young age. Dadding done right. (:
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︎ May 27 2018
I arrived early at the restaurant last night. โDo you mind waiting for a bit?โ The manager asked. โNot at allโ I replied.
โGood, take these lasagnas to table 6โ he said.
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︎ Nov 21 2019
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