When I woke up I was so exhausted.
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
He was looking in Alderaan places.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
I guess I was Tolkien in my sleep.
Annette.
Karl Marx was right when he wrote Das Capitol.
Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.
I was like: 0mg!
Then i woke up.
I don’t know how this will unfold.
I just couldn't measure up.
I did Nazi that coming
...and you’ll be fast asleep.
Sudden Lee
The therapist looks up from his paperwork, looks at the man, and says, "I'm busy at the moment, so I'll deal with you later."
I told her she should thank all the women that came before her.
Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.
If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.
Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???
Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.
Thank you,
A Dad.
I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
It really makes my day
but alas it was all in vein.
In fact, I find them quite stable.
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
Sometimes he laughs
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
If you have to force it, its probably just crap anyways.
But I think he gets a little cross once in a while...
They make a prickly pear.
A buck-an-ear!
I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!
Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!
I hope this type of post is allowed!
I am going to visit my grandma this Tuesday to say goodbye to her. She is 87 and very ill, she is mentally still with it but in a lot of pain. She sounds at peace, I think she is just doing her best to hang on til we can get to her.
My grandma loves stupid jokes, dad jokes, puns, all that stuff. I’d love to share some laughs with her when I say goodbye. Hit me with your favorite and dumbest dad jokes and I will share the best ones with her.
Thank you Reddit fam!
That was the punchline
I told her, "Uganda be kidding - Kenya be serious?!"
"Stairs don't talk!"
It was more of a fanta sea.
but alas it was all in vein.
I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt that I was a muffler and......I woke up exhausted.
