Lofting Puns

...could be pro-limb-attic!

It was a little drum attic.

He sits down.

"I'd like a Firley Temple, pleafe."

A biker nearby starts laughing.

"HAWHAWHAW, what kinda idiot talks like that?!"

"I have a fpeech impediment, I loft my teef in an acfident."

The biker keeps on laughing harder with every word.

"ALRIGHT THAT'F IT! YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET GIRAFFE-KICKED!!"

It was a problematic.

That was problem-attic.

"Now when your mom asks if you've made your bed, you can always say yes."

Just a little info, she has a lofted bed.

GF: I'm having such a hard time getting out of bed this morning.

Me: Why's that?

GF: Just because I have to jump down to get out of bed and I really don't want to today.

Me: Why? That's a great way to jump-start your day!

GF: Ughhh

So my Pops asks if I could help him get the Christmas "stuff" down from the loft with him. We have a loft above the garage where we store seasonal decorations.

He'll go up in the loft and I'll stand on the middle of the ladder, where he hands me the plastic containers, which I'll place on the floor.

As soon as he gets up there I see that the most accessible and logical box to take down first is the one with the wrapping paper. I reach for it and he shoos me away coming up with an excuse to leave it up there for the time being.

Right then and there I knew exactly what he was doing and I couldn't stop it.

We get the absurd amount of containers down until there's only the one left. He hands it too me and says, "Whelp.. that about wraps it up. Haha."

It's not even that good and I knew it was coming for the whole half-hour, but never the less I rolled my eyes and gave him his moment of glory. He deserves it.

Wife: "What shall we do today?"

Me: "I was thinking about building a small storage loft over the east side of the garage."

Wife: "That's a lofty goal."

At the dinner table and my mother asks:

"What is the difference between Ann Taylor and Ann Taylor loft?"

Grandfather: "One is higher than the other"

We had a good laugh.