To the person who stole my Microsoft Office license.
I'm gonna find you. You have my word.
I've just ordered the personalised license plate BAA BAA.
I give out drivers licenses for snow plows
Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...
...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".
I have to make dad jokes or I could lose my dad license. It's a thing called D-Law. If you're caught being a dad without a license? Well...
You need a pilots license before you become a spy.
After all, you'll be in da skies.
Here, a license is required for a forklift
Guess I need to switch to chopsticks.
A Renaissance era lawyer lost his law license for insulting the king...
I was pulled over by the police. The officer said "According to your license you should be wearing glasses when you drive"
I said no, it's okay I have Contacts
He said "I don't give a damn who you think you know"
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
Why did the boy fail his license test even though he took driver's ed?
why did Jim Band shit the bed???
If i intend to buy an electric car, do i need a current driving license?
I lost my baker's license
because I was recently charged with batter-y
I have a plan to live on two bucks for the whole next year.
Step 1: get a hunting license.
This license plate is expired
This expired license plate
The alcoholic lawyer got his license revoked by the judge.
What kind of driver doesn’t need a license?
I'd like my fatherhood license please
A fake duolingo account made a post with a grammatical error. I corrected them, and here's the resulting joke
Anon- "duolingo is fluent in language, not grammar"
Me- "languages require grammar... Czech mate"
I thought Hawaii was a tourist destination...
But all the license plates there were from in state.
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
Got my drivers license today
My dad gave me a jar of honey with wheels... he said it’s Manuka
What does James Bond need to go on vacation?
I got my license but I don’t think I h🥑
I saw a woman at the gas station pumping gas and trying to light a cigarette
I went inside to pay and saw two policemen in the store. I said "Did you guys see that woman out there?" They looked outside and suddenly darted out the door. I turn and see she caught her arm on fire.
The policemen threw a blanket around her and wrestled her to the ground and put out the fire. Then they gave her a ticket!
After they came inside I asked why they gave her a ticket. Turns out she didn't have a license for that firearm.
I saw a good pun license plate today
Even when I lie I make sense
My grandpa said he was going to get his license or die trying
He passed away waiting to get his picture taken
True story, he was known for rapid firing bad jokes. He had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Milwaukee Zoo. I think it was the best way he could have gone, pulling one last joke over on all of us. Figured you all should know some people are really committed to the r/dadjoke lifestyle
I met a nun who had a bartender's license.
She was the nicest bartender I ever had. Bar nun.
Cool license plate clock or a waste of time?
My son’s text: “What is my car’s license plate?”
My response: “A rectangular metal instrument affixed to the rear of your car, paid for by you, but issued by the State as a means of taxation, identification, and regulatory control.”
Hallo! A license plate frame for you
I spotted a license plate reading "4SHABBY" today
me: "I guess it's not two shabby"
gf: dies laughing
Arguing with your wife is like reading a software license agreement. In the end...
...you ignore it all and click, "I agree"!
I just purchased an electric car.
Do I need a current license?
Do you need a current driver's license to drive an electric car
Arguing with my wife is like reading a software license agreement
In the end, I ignore it all and click "I agree".
To the person that stole my Microsoft Office license, I will find you
Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...
...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".
Arguing with my wife is like reading a software license agreement...
...in the end, I ignore it all and click "I agree."
I just bought the personalized license plate BAA BAA...
Someone stole my Microsoft Office license!
I am gonna take it back. You have my Word on it!
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