24 Hilarious Lennon Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

What did Cynthia Lennon say when John remarried?

Ono!

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👤︎ u/MikeyRidesABikey

📅︎ May 26 2021

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Did you hear about that train trip that John Lennon took?

A: Did you hear about that train trip that John Lennon took?

B: No, what was the trip for?

A: To see his wife. It was a Yoko motive.

(original)

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👤︎ u/mmkay_then

📅︎ Aug 16 2020

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They’ve locked down Liverpool John Lennon Airport and all the passengers are trapped inside

Imagine, all the people...

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👤︎ u/vbloke

📅︎ Jul 13 2020

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Did you hear that John Lennon airport went into quarantine earlier?

Imagine all the people.

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👤︎ u/jukajoj

📅︎ Mar 18 2020

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What does John Lennon say to his sons when they don't want to eat their greens?

Give peas a chance.

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👤︎ u/NationalTeamFootball

📅︎ Jun 20 2020

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News from a Brazilian tabloid: “Jhon Lennon kidnaps bus and passengers scream HELP”

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👤︎ u/guzforster

📅︎ Feb 06 2020

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Apparently, if the Coronavirus outbreak gets worse, they might have to cancel all the flights in and out of John Lennon airport.

Imagine all the people.

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👤︎ u/jr1477

📅︎ Mar 05 2020

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Wouldn't it have been amazing if John Lennon had invented that device that you put in your front door to secretly see who's on the other side.

I mean, imagine all the peepholes.

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👤︎ u/Rav4xle

📅︎ May 14 2020

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What disease did John Lennon die of?

Dieabeatles

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👤︎ u/Lingonsoppa

📅︎ Mar 28 2019

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Think I might sell all my John Lennon memorabilia on ebay.

Imagine all the Paypal...

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👤︎ u/1963_jan

📅︎ Jan 31 2019

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What was John Lennon's favorite kind of Pop-Tart?

Strawberry-filled. Forever.

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👤︎ u/Hysterical_Realist

📅︎ Feb 27 2019

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Paul McCartney copes with John Lennon's death by buying hens, and then later tries to fly by tying them to his arms and legs.

As he puts it,

"I get by with a little help from my hens."

"I get high with a little help from my hens."

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👤︎ u/Mutant_Llama1

📅︎ Jun 08 2018

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I'm going to start selling John Lennon memorabilia on ebay

Imagine all the paypal

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👤︎ u/leedsfreak

📅︎ Sep 20 2016

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How does John Lennon get his kids to eat their vegetables?

He tells them to "Give Peas a Chance"

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👤︎ u/laughoutloud830

📅︎ Nov 21 2013

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Got dad joked with help from John Lennon

My family and I were eating chicken pot pies for dinner, and, as usual, I pick out all of the peas. My dad glares at me momentarily and then... "All I am saying is give peas a chance."

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👤︎ u/shoveit96

📅︎ Aug 25 2014

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What’s the deference between bullets and hippies?

Hippies miss John Lennon

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👤︎ u/Depressed_Citrus

📅︎ Sep 10 2020

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I don't know if this is a Dad joke or just plain appalling...

I was in the kitchen with John Lennon about to do the dishes and I turned to him and said:

"Right John, I've got my washing up basin, sponges, hot water, the dishes themselves of course...is that it am I ready to go? Do I need anything else?"

And John turned to me and said-

>!"All you need is glove!<

>!All you need is glove,!<

>!All you need is glove,glove!<

>!Glove is all you need"!<

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👤︎ u/WeeHootieMctoo

📅︎ Feb 03 2020

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My 3 year old already learned an appreciation for dad jokes.

Last night: Me: “let’s go to sleep, I’m tired.” Her: “hi tired I’m Lennon”

Today: Her (standing on her chair at dinner): “dad whats you’re favorite restaurant?” Me: “sit on your butt please” Her: “your favorite restaurant is ‘sit on your butt please?’”

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👤︎ u/JordanMichael08

📅︎ Apr 20 2018

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What do you call a mausoleum where you’d bury the Beatles?

The Lennon closet

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👤︎ u/paxman2205

📅︎ Jun 20 2018

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Dadjoked people on Halloween

I was dressed as John Lennon, and I noticed my shoe falling off. So I took it off and at the next house I said "Wanna see my new album?" When they responded yes, I took off my shoe and told them it was called "Rubber Sole."

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👤︎ u/The_Cult_Of_Skaro

📅︎ Nov 01 2014

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My mom just shared an interesting fact...

"Did you know John Lennon's son was born on his birthday?"

"Isn't everyone born on their birthdays?"

She just stared at me while I open up reddit to post this.

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👤︎ u/BobTehCat

📅︎ Oct 10 2014

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Dad dropped this while I was trying to kill a beetle.

Me: Stomping on beetle Dad: What are you doing over there? Me: Trying to kill this beetle. Dad: Which Beatle? John Lennon? Ringo Starr? Paul McCartney? Me: Haha no. stomping vigorously It's the stupid kind that doesn't DIE! Dad: ...Well we know it isn't Lennon.

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👤︎ u/thetacoslayer

📅︎ Dec 17 2013

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The John Lennon Airport has been quarantined

Imagine all the people

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👤︎ u/x_amxxn_x

📅︎ Feb 29 2020

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Wouldn't it have been amazing if John Lennon had invented that device that you put in your front door to secretly see who's on the other side?

I mean, imagine all the peepholes!

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Feb 16 2019

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