Learning Disability Puns

One of the other techs was on the phone and she was angrily complaining to someone that the new guy (me) is just sitting there and doing nothing. I was so overwhelmed with all the information that I was trying to figure out how to organize it and didn't know if I I should answer phones yet because I couldn't fix any problems. So today when she said that I decided to ask the boss what he expects of me on my 5th day and he said just answer the phones and takes messages and make the ticket. I thought ok well when was anyone going to tell me that.

So I try doing that and it makes my anxiety go pretty high but I did one successful password reset. In theory a password reset should be easy in AD but first of all I can't see what the user is seeing, I have to make sure I've unlocked their account but don't know at what stage, I don't remember what usernames they use...the list goes on and on.

So by my 5th day I had to ask what is expected of me because there are 4 others and they support 3000 users so as you can imagine they are busy. Plus they have huge projects they need finish fast because of audits or something. Security audits I think I don't know. Anyway I wish I was dead

Just listing all the random stereotypes and misconceptions people have.

I have lived my whole life with ADHD, and I've often believed and internalized these stereotypes myself. I used to believe that everything was just me failing at doing anything right. Thinking I was both really smart and really lazy at the same time. Why does it sometimes take a week for me to bring the trash bin in? Why do I fail to do the math homework until the night before? Why didn't I take notes? I'm just a lazy failure....et cetera.

I would always overcompensate by trying way harder than anyone. That's the only reason I even graduated with a CS degree: I took 10 years to get it and retook calculus 1 about 4 times, discrete math 3 times ,and linear algebra 3 times. I pushed and begged the cs department to let me into the major even though grades kept slipping and I went on academic probation twice.

I overcompensate at work. I spend 10 hours doing what takes most people 6 hours. I struggle with sustainaned attention on things like doc writing or complex thought (like software architecture).

I overcompensate in dating: I try to be the best possible date ever....and am paranoid about screwing up. Dating is the one place where "try harder" just doesn't work unfortunately.

Anyways all those stereotypes was what I was fighting Everytime I would overcompensate. I'd believe I'm just a failure of a human... because of these negative or dismissive stereotypes.

I wonder if Hollywood stopped highlighting the stereotypes of ADHD and started treating it seriously, if we might be taken more seriously. I've seen that happen with autism over the years. People used to be kind of dismissive of autism if someone was "high functioning". But now people are a little more understanding of what someone on the spectrum experiences. Netflix shows like "Atypical" have done a lot of good for "humanizing" ASD.

I wish Netflix would do the same for ADHD.

I have a learning disability(horrible comprehension skills, bad memory, slow learner, etc.) Do you think it would hurt my chances of getting a job if I told an employer during the interview that I'm LD and would like my training on Zoom so it can be recorded?

So I have a little brother who is aged 10 that my parents adopted some 6 or 7 years ago now, he has a learning disability and as such finds many concepts and ideas difficult that most 10 years olds can handle (for example he still struggles to spell his own name).

I am myself an avid gamer and being a kid he likes playing games too, however a lot of the games that are appropriate and are easy enough for him to understand I find extremely grating and infuriating to play.

Most often he wants to play pretend and whilst I enjoy TTRPGs like D&D I can't seem to get myself into the headspace to enjoy playing pretend with him like I would've done when I was his age.

I'd considered introducing him to a very simple version of D&D however he still struggles greatly with his addition and even when playing something as simple as Uno he will struggle to process the numbers and the game.

I REALLY want to find something we can play together because he hasn't got any other siblings or friends to play with when he's at home (our older sister passed away before my parents adopted him and his bio siblings live on the other side of the City), I also fear him having a lonely and boring childhood.

I was already practically the Elsa to my Sisters Anna and I fear I am repeating the same mistakes again but very often my depression will make me unable to leave my room or have the energy to do anything.

I don't know what to do and could really use some input?

This might be different for people who are only hyperactive, I don't know how that affects you guys. (I'm primarily inattentive)

How many times have we set up schedules, device reminders/alarms, tried associating certain tasks to certain other tasks, locked apps/devices/distractions, etc., all just to accomplish normal things? How many of us have started running/lifting/exercising just to get bored and not really do anything while there and to end up not going next time? Then we try again, fail, try again, get frustrated, just to try again and fail later? Eventually we get discouraged and quit for a while, just to get frustrated and try again later.

We don't lack motivation, not at all, we just lack control over our focus. No normal person is like this. They just...do things. When they want to. They might struggle sometimes, but never to this extent. And because of that, they don't have nearly as much motivation as we do. No one is more motivated than someone who feels like they should be able to make it work if only they could just try harder.

Imagine what we could have accomplished with all this motivation if we didn't have this disability. Think of that goal you gave up on because you just couldn't get the hard stuff done. Think of all the wasted time trying and failing at homework that could've been used in a different way if we were able to finish this stuff in time.

If we kept the motivation level and just gained a normal person's focus control, I think we'd all have accomplished incredible things.

(Also I'm near certain this is flaired wrong but I have no idea what to flair it)

does this fall under Neurodivergent? I am not entirely sure. I still do have some issues with learning skills that arent mechanical skills, like my gamesense lags so far behind my mechanical skill in games for example.

Each week Ben seems to struggle with following along on a topic and either discussing it or looking something up - unless whoever is speaking is explicit with him.

This confuses me as he claimed to be a gifted student. Can we start a GoFundMe to send him to an educational program that focuses specifically on critical thinking abilities?

Hey all.

Today at work my manager asked me to log into coaching to discuss something with me.

I knew the reason for it so quickly fixed it.

The reason was we need to close our note once we have spoken to a customer or it saves as a list of callback instead. No biggie imo if you forget.

She asked me to show her what I'm doing and I told her I knew the reason why sometimes I'm too busy chatting away with customers, sometimes I forget.

She made a big deal out of it, so got a bit upset. Just explained that I have a really bad short term memory, noticed this recently in general life. Apologized and mentioned I was dyslexic.

Her reply was I'm going to need to dig into this a bit deeper and asked if I was doing anything else wrong on the call totally ignoring what I told her. Her tone and manner suggested I was lying. By this point I got really upset told her I was going to go. So I hung up.

I was told to take time and call back. I kept thinking about the conversation, how she tried to questioning me. I felt like she thought I was lying or some shit.

Her reason for digging me was because this has happened with another team and it was a complaint ( again different way we log these) the company is most likely gong to have a payout on that very specific complaint.

Anyways after getting annoyed replying the call in my head several times and after chatting with my partner I decided to call her back.

Explained I wasn't happy it isn't working explained my short term memory in greater detail. Advised I was leaving and it wasn't working. Told her the bonus was pish and she told me to not make a rational decision and take a hour and cal back.

Again replying what happened in my head and realised what's happened.

I decided to email her as this would be the best way to track it.

Explained that she's bought to my attention that I now feel incapable, she questioned me because I was dislexic and a few other points. Can always grab the email later. Told her it affected me mentally and I wasn't in any mindframe to complete my shift. I would speak to her on Monday.

Was this the right move and how would you proceed.

As someone who grew up in a south Asian Muslim(Bangladeshi) household, I constantly have to deal with pressures to get married and my mom tells me that maybe if I get married I am gonna become more “normal”. She constantly tells me that girls my age are more established and are dating/getting married. But my mom doesn’t understand that I don’t wanna get married because of the fear of getting exploited. Being a girl and an atheist in a Bangladeshi Muslim household is tough if combined with having disabilities. I would appreciate it if I get response from someone with similar experience and tell me if my reason is valid enough to stay single.

By just saying you don’t care, especially with that “I don’t give a shit” kind of attitude, you may think you’re being kind by showing that person that you’re indifferent to their limitations, but this can accidentally come off as very condescending by accident. I’m not saying you have to put them on a pedestal, but give them the common decency of acknowledging their differences instead of trying to dismiss them out of what you perceive as kindness. This didn’t occur to me until I read about disability advocacy online a couple years ago. As someone with a speech disorder, I realize that it feels much, much better when someone does the latter instead of blowing it off.

I’ll provide an example. Let’s say, hypothetically, we met online and we’re meeting up for a date and I tell you either over text or as soon as we meet up that I have a speech impediment. Instead of saying something like “oh, I wouldn’t care anyways. I don’t even hear anything wrong with you right now,” try something like “oh, okay! Thank you for feeling comfortable telling me about this, I appreciate that. I won’t let that get in the way of us having a good first date.” You can even add on (optional) “how can I make you feel more comfortable so you’re not so nervous?” See the difference? And if you’re going to be a “fuck your feelings, I don’t have to validate shit for you” person in the comments, please save your breath and don’t bother commenting.

Side note: if you’re going on a date and the person you’re meeting up with is more disabled than they originally told you and you were led on, then of course don’t lie and tell them it won’t get in the way. It’s their responsibility to be fully transparent of their abilities, like if they have a wheelchair/walker/machine/etc. Leading people in isn’t cool and that needs to be discussed over text/phone early on

Crossposted to r/CPTSD

My brain feels like Swiss cheese and it has for a long time.

TLDR: I started experiencing major freeze response, executive dysfunction, and performance and evaluation anxiety in relation to learning at 9-years-old. No one ever intervened. I'm 34-years-old now and I'm still experiencing these issues in all facets of my life. I don't know what to call what I'm experiencing and therefore don't know where or from whom to seek treatment and support.

I started having difficulties in school when I was around 9-years-old/in the fourth grade (Canada). School became a stressful place where I had to perform but couldn't because of how I was started to be impacted by trauma (i.e. major freeze response). Due to the emotional neglect I was experiencing at home, I was "permitted" to stay home from school. I would regularly feign illness, stay home, and watch TV all day. When I did go to school, I was chronically late, "procrastinated"/worked on assignments last minute, crammed for tests, and handed in assignments late or not at all. The feedback from some of my teachers was that I was lazy, disinterested, underachieving, not trying hard enough, etc. My trauma and emotional dysregulation went completely under the radar.

This continued into high school, where my cognitive functioning was clearly impaired. I experienced chronic fatigue, had trouble retaining and recalling information, and barely eeked by with a high school diploma. I attempted to go to university, but I couldn't cope with unprocessed trauma and all the ways that it had impacted learning and my experience of school and dropped out two years in. Somehow, I got a college diploma, but not without much struggle, and my attempts at working in my field (Social Services) were also mired in the residue of my difficult educational experiences: chronic lateness, "procrastination", missing deadlines, difficulty retaining and recalling information, etc.

I'm now 34-years-old and these issues continue to impact me. A lot. I'm currently unemployed. When I was employed, I was underemployed. Learning, performance, and evaluation anxiety are everywhere in my life. Applying for a job? Job skills training? Thinking about learning how to drive? A recreational skill? The rules of a board game? All of it triggers freeze response and major avoidance.

One of my favourite comedians, Maria Bamford, introduced me to the concept of Vaginismus. Bear with me. From nhs.uk: "Vaginismus is the body's automatic re

I had a thought yesterday: If someone with autism or Asperger’s or even Down syndrome turned into a vampire, would it erase the disability or would the mentality and traits stay? I ask this because as an autistic person, my hearing sensitivity and sense of smell is quite strong so would those traits be heightened? And what about eye contact? Because autistic people tend to struggle with maintaining eye contact?

We've been together for over a decade. We (me, 39/f, him 40/m) both have baggage, he just doesn't see his - he chooses to blame me for all that is happening in our relationship now. This has resorted in me finding a really great therapist who is helping me to maneuver through all of this and to see that his learning disabilities are what is really affecting things - but he won't get tested or see anyone about it. My therapist is on vacation for the holidays...so here I am to vent.

Our relationship was great in the beginning. We were young and had no responsibilities. I loved how carefree he seemed...but after college, job, house, etc. the stress started to make all his worst traits really come forward. The more stressed he gets, the more he shuts down. Now he is in bed 12 hours a day. He works for 8, eats for 1 hour, showers for 1 hour and sits on the toilet or plays video games for whatever time is left. Then complains he doesn't have time alone.

I have been making huge efforts to try to stay calm, but each time I spell out a need of mine he either laughs, tells me I am wrong, tells me his opinion on the matter or tells me how it affects him. If I tell him he is overwhelming me, or ask him to stop I have to repeat myself 4-5 times and eventually start screaming. Stop. Please Stop. I need you to stop. Enough! STOP IT!!!!! I am working on walking away when he overwhelms me, but he follows me talking louder and louder. He claims I am always silencing him, never hearing him but I try to explain that he takes so much of my energy with his constant commentary, his lack of help around the house and his inability to show empathy or give validation.

We haven't had sex in years...we stopped because every time I said "I like when you do ___", he would respond with "Actually, I notice that ____ works better for you". He also developed a weird sensitivity to cleanliness and touch where he won't handle anything that feels weird without wearing gloves...not with sex, but he started getting angry if the sheets got messy and if his hands got dirty he would hold them up in the air until we were done. I just couldn't take it anymore. I told him it was making me miserable, and he needed to get help. He blamed me and said I should accept him as he is. After 3 or 4 years, I said there is no reason for you to be in our bed if you aren't going to touch me...so now he sleeps down the hall. He doesn't want any intimacy, just a peck on the lips every couple days.

I just

Hello! I'm new to this subreddit. I am 26f on the spectrum. I know that I am on the spectrum because of social difficulties, sensory processing disorders, and more nuanced traits like inductive reasoning. I even had repetitive movements as a kid. Yes, I've had to consciously learn to socialize (take notes, study others, read about it). I was speaking in full sentences by one, so we assumed that put me in the category of Asperger's. I have always loved speaking and writing.

However, I do not have fit the 'nerdy and smart' mold of Asperger's. I have spent my entire life trying to cope with cognitive deficits and find out WHAT is cognitively wrong with me. Teachers tried to get me services. I almost went on disability as an adult because I would just forget all the recipes I learned in the fast-food industry or forget who I am talking to in the middle of taking orders. This would all have nothing to do with my mood or energy level. I'll list some that have nothing to do with social skills.

Childhood:

• Unable to run or ride a bike at an appropriate age despite my mother encouraging me
• Unable to find things that are being pointed at
• Unable to follow multi-step directions
• No organizational skills
• Needed help with hygiene (struggled with this again as an adult after the loss of a loved one)
• After some mild trauma at 7, I started wetting the bed and literally forgot which way to face letters like f and j. It took me years to get them right again.
• Failed 5th grade but my teacher gave me D's to keep me with peers

Childhood and Adulthood

• Difficulty with spatial reasoning
• Difficulty learning to drive, although now I drive very effectively but never know where I am. For example, I have gotten lost directly in front of my own house.
• Very poor reading comprehension despite advanced writing ability
• Not responding when spoken to
• Severe memory problems, especially working memory and experiential memory
• Lack of attention to detail but not ADD
• Having to study and work 10x harder to achieve the same results as peers
• I have 0 trouble understanding complex concepts but I am somehow a very slow learner. Think of it like a low floor, high ceiling.
• everyone I've ever known has basically called me stupid if I've had to work with them in any way or brilliant if we have never worked together and they enjoy my insights. This makes sense, as autism can cause someone to learn slowly despite having the capacity to think at advanced levels. (have

No idea how to word this or where to start but if I don't at least just post I won't move forward.

I think I have something, I don't know what. I was always told I was normal and kept out of special classes etc, against the wishes of teachers etc.

I'm now an adult. I have a serious problem with taking things too literally that has always held me back. Learning, specifically. The problem isn't just in conversation but also in reading comprehension,

for instance math. The whole x+y=z thing, I never got an understanding of because I always looked at it as a guess, and math is literal, so how do I guess something that is supposed to be fact. Not sure how to explain this.

Tldr, I'm now an adult, still don't understand how to study outside of forcing myself to remember too much word for word information, still take things too literally, and need a starting point.

Can I at least find a way to find help or help myself to learn without years of therapy?

Alright, so I just watched the Mckenna movie (which I’m guessing varies slightly from the books, which I have not read) and I’m a little disappointed. I was hoping that since she was a GOTY with learning difficulties, that she would have an actual learning disability, but that wasn’t the case. She just wasn’t good at or into school, but with tutoring and help could get better at school (which it isn’t that easy or quite how it works with learning disabilities)…so yeah I was a bit disappointed about that and now really hope that we get a GOTY with a learning disability soon.

I feel like I just can't learn material quickly. It takes me like 3-4 passes of the material just to have some clue of what's going on. I'm doing well so far (~90s on exams) but I also study like 14+ hours a day. I haven't really been able to do anything in terms of extracurriculars because of this and that's stressing me out tbh.

And then when I do the Anki for the lectures, I take at least a minute per card. I don't understand how people take like 7-8 seconds per card.

People always tell me to study more efficiently when I tell them how long I study, but I legit don't know how much more efficient I can be.

Hi y'all. I was a regular on this section back when I was taking the LSAT 2 years ago or so...I learned so much from the forum including info about accommodations. I'm now in law school and there is a misconception I wanted to address:

The LSAT is nothing like Law School Exams

Sure, law school is content-based, but it requires more than regurgitation. You will need to exercise a high-level of reading comprehension and analytic skills to extensive new fact sets...and you will need to do it FAST. I want to stress this part - SPEED is a HUGE factor still. I was under the impression that law school exams weren't so time-based....completely wrong. You are scrambling to get as much down on paper as possible. They do not give you adequate ample time to ensure everyone gets all the points like in undergrad.

If you need to re-read things multiple times just to connect the dots....you will be seriously disadvantaged. If you have a panic response and it takes you time to calm down....you will be seriously disadvantaged. Etc.

So if you're really struggling with this aspect of the LSAT, and are telling yourself (like I did), that once the LSAT is over you'll be fine since you've pushed through it before...

Do yourself a favor and get help. Get accommodations now. You will need them. Don't make it harder on yourself. Beyond the LSAT, your 1L grades are hugely important and your law school will work with you to help you. Your mental health doctor will work with you to help you. Don't let anxiety stop you from getting help. It will not get better in law school unless you get help.

TL;DR: Grammar errors lead to academic dishonesty charge with no reparations.

In December 2017, a professor (who will call DF) wrongfully accused me of academic dishonesty on a paper I submitted in a course. DF's only basis for this accusation was grammatical errors in my paper. He claimed that the grammatical errors demonstrated that the author was a student with an Asian first language and I could not have been the author and bought it from a paper mill. During the meeting with DF, I immediately responded with my diagnosis with dyslexia.

The following January, I met with the associate dean of the Faculty of Arts (who I will call RN). During the meeting with RN, they asked my to perform the patronizing and down right insulting task of reading my paper, which seemed to be a validity test of my disability. She had no interest in viewing my evidence that I had brought, such as the metadata of the paper.

The next February, RN declared I committed academic dishonesty and imposed sanctions. I immediately appealed. Over the next months, I met with a counsel (a lawyer who was a husband of a professor) to help me navigate the appeal process and finally in May I was unanimously granted my appeal and sanctions were removed.

After the accusations, I was overwhelmed by the sanctions and their implications for my future, particularly because I was wanting to pursue a Master's degree. As a result of this stress, I had to resign from my job, leading to a lost income and reliance on my savings. It has absolutely ruined my confidence. All this lead to a severe depression, which because of my financial situation, I couldn't address.

Throughout the process I endured a disrespectful and undignified learning experience and now that I am pursuing an after-degree, the accusation of academic dishonesty has had a clear impact on my ability to submit assignment, exams, ect. out of fear of the same discrimination.

The real kicker is that after I had won the appeal, no one from the university reached out to make sure I was ok. No resources were put in place to help me. Not even an apology or acknowledgement of the stress I was placed under.

In order to have some form of closure, I recently submitted a discrimination complaint which has been denied (due to time limit).

Hopefully this wasn't too long and somewhat understandable. I think everyone should be concerned about what the UofA views as there responsibility and how serious it views academic dishonesty (not enough t

I’m super obsessed with geology so I’m so excited I found this sub! I’m particularly deeply interested in learning about earthquakes. I know fault lines are the main cause of them but I can’t seem to comprehend what exactly fault lines are, I have severe ADHD and I’m also on the autism spectrum so often when I get super curious or interested in something, unless the concept of it is super basic I kind of need a more straight to the point dummied down definition of the fact. Can anyone simplify what fault lines are for me? Thanks so much!:)

Okay I know the context of the title makes me sound a bit ablest. I (22 F) have five learning disabilities and ADHD. For some background I was heavily bullied when I was younger and constantly told I was "too stupid" to accomplish anything in life. I have always felt like an imposter because of it and struggle with my confidence regarding my intelligence. I used to be really embarrassed about my learning disabilities and intelligence. But recently I finally felt confident enough to start talking about my experience growing up. I have always used comedy and stand up to work through my issues and I decided it was high time to tackle my insecurities regarding my learning disabilities.

Now before anyone comes at me I have only ever written jokes about my own learning disabilities and my own personal experiences and I don't joke about disabilities I don't have.

So the issue, I am in a comedy club and have recently started doing stand up at our open mic nights. I recently decided to practice some new materials about my learning disabilities at a practice meeting (Again I only use my own experiences in my stand up) Most of the people in my club thought my material was really good and supported it but one club member (21 F), who we will call Cam, told me I was being ablest and shouldn't be allowed to participate in our clubs open mic nights and should be removed from the club from my remarks.

Cam doesn't have any learning disabilities and she essentially told me that anyone with learning disabilities would be extremely hurt by my stand up and that I am insensitive for thinking it would be okay to talk about this. She refused to listen to my argument that I have learning disabilities, and only used my own personal experiences as content for my stand up. She said that since she is studying to be a special-ed teacher she understands what it's like to have a learning disability and that she felt extremely insulted and victimized by my stand up and that as someone with learning disabilities I should have known better then to joke about this topic.

I use my stand up as a way to poke fun at myself and my own struggles I went through as a child and insecurities. I have asked my friends who also have learning disabilities and went to the same school as me and none of them have any problem with my jokes whatsoever and even find them funny and relatable.

Cam decided to take the issue up with the club president and now I am not allowed to preform stand up with my club

Greetings, i'm making this post to figure if other people who partake in the hobby are in the same case as me.

I have a really bad case of disgraphia (Impossible to write and be read, difficulties with precision movement, drawing, small precision movement near impossible), i have been into plastic crack for 5 years in the meantime my pile of shame as increased considerably.
Unbuilt models, less than 5% percent of my models are not grey and i hate it.

But everytime i build models it takes me around 40 minutes for just one miniature and painting is even worse it takes me around 6 to 8 hours a model just to get something im proud of.

My time painting is mainly trying to brace and find the best positions for my hands, and re paiting part i have touched with my brush.

With years of doing that i feel im a at a level im proud of but the thing is i don't find it enjoyeable but more of chore. I am really pumped when i finish building a model or paiting it but the whole process is really hard to get into because how much is taxing on me.

I got alot of equipement to help but it's enough (Paiting handle, arm rest, rubber grips for brushes, wet palette, good lighting etc...) even with all that i see things accumulating and wanting to do it is really stressing.

So i'm here to see if people are in the same case as me with or without my learning disability, and to see if i can try something else to gain enough confidence to try it again without feeling that im not doing it like everybody. Thanks

PS: im not a native in english so excuse my poor grammar, and thanks also to disgraphia it's quite long for me to type because it also affects how a person put his words into text so don't worry if im quite late to respond

My 7-year-old daughter has absence epilepsy and between the epilepsy and the medicine she's having trouble learning to read. Our school recommended that we get a neuropsychiatric evaluation to find out what if any learning disabilities she has so that we can respond appropriately.

We've had a hard time finding such services in Pittsburgh with less than a 6-month waiting list. Does anyone have any recommendations/suggestions?

I love them even tho my parents are weird and dysfunctional human beings who should have separated decades ago. All my friends are far away and since I am stupid I suck at making friends. I am sorry. I am just deeply upset at how much of a dissapointing human being I have turned out be over the years.

Hello kind Redditors!

I come to you with a question that hopefully will help me decide between continuing or discarding my dream.

I am 27 years of age and have been interested in AI and Machine Learning for as long as I remember. I have read many conceptual books on this topic and have been dreaming of working with people at the forefront of this exciting industry.

The caveat is that I have dyscalculia. For those that don't know, dyscalculia is a learning disability that severely impacts ones learning ability of mathematics. To give you some context, in the United Kingdom at the age of 15, we sit exams that let us then go into college and study further. Given my learning disability, I have completely failed the mathematics exam. The exam covers simple concepts such as fractions, decimals, percentages, basic algebra, geometry, ratios etc. From the age of 18 to roughly 26, I have been consistently learning, receiving a lot of 1 to 1 support, to finally pass the exam and I managed to do it before Covid happened.

Given the amount of time it took me to finally pass an exam aimed at 15 year olds. Is there anything for me in the world of AI and Machine Learning? Mathematics is the only field which I am unable to study. I have a university degree in Video/Film production, but I am not interested in that filed at all. I love to learn and to read. I don’t have a TV, which people find weird about me, I read books instead. But the damn math is holding me back from everything that I’m truly interested in. Computer science, hardware engineering, robotics, AI and ML… I have been learning math with support for so many years, with the sole reason of one day being able to work within those industries, in a technical role, that requires me to think, innovate and create a platform for future generations to use, to propel us as humanity even further. At this rate, there is no way that in my lifetime I will be able to pass mathematics at the level of college, let alone university, to only then be able to apply that knowledge to the world of AI and ML.

What are your thoughts?

I cant learn at all in a classroom, i have diagnosed autism but I don’t know if that also affects my learning

A few months ago I stumbled across this picture... (in case the link doesn't work, it's the ADHD Iceburg)

And I kinda went, "Huh... oh... OOOHHHHHHHH... oh no..."

Sooooo yeah, I guess that my ADHD diagnosis was correct. I knew this subreddit existed, but I finally started browsing, reading about other's issues, the meds (oh yeah, I was put on Dexadrine, Adderall, and Ritteline as a child, but I hated it, and I can't be bothered to see if I spelled those right), and I just broke down and cried a lot because part of me feels like I wasted so much time, time I could have spent trying more meds to find one that doesn't turn me into a zombie, but if I took meds would I still be me?

I have basically all of the symptoms, but some are worse than others. I feel addicted to video games because it's one of the few things that actually holds my attention, but I have gotten better at spending my time doing other things, like watching shows and movies with my fiance. I have always had trouble falling asleep and getting up in the morning. I am quick to anger. But the worst part is that my mind just does not stop thinking about anything and everything. I am a delivery driver, and I spend most of my time driving daydreaming or thinking, and sometimes I even just... blurt out random noises, and it's embarrassing as hell.

Writing this out, I honestly can't believe I even denied it at all.

So, I'm thinking of trying meds again. The idea that I could actually feel productive is tempting. There are times when I actually do feel productive, and I question if meds are necessary, but there are also days, or even weeks when I would sell my soul for some Adderall.

I'm open to any ideas and experience, 'cause I f**kin' need it.

Crossposted to r/CPTSD_NSCommunity

My brain feels like Swiss cheese and it has for a long time.

TLDR: I started experiencing major freeze response, executive dysfunction, and performance and evaluation anxiety in relation to learning at 9-years-old. No one ever intervened. I'm 34-years-old now and I'm still experiencing these issues in all facets of my life. I don't know what to call what I'm experiencing and therefore don't know where or from whom to seek treatment and support.

I started having difficulties in school when I was around 9-years-old/in the fourth grade (Canada). School became a stressful place where I had to perform but couldn't because of how I was started to be impacted by trauma (i.e. major freeze response). Due to the emotional neglect I was experiencing at home, I was "permitted" to stay home from school. I would regularly feign illness, stay home, and watch TV all day. When I did go to school, I was chronically late, "procrastinated"/worked on assignments last minute, crammed for tests, and handed in assignments late or not at all. The feedback from some of my teachers was that I was lazy, disinterested, underachieving, not trying hard enough, etc. My trauma and emotional dysregulation went completely under the radar.

This continued into high school, where my cognitive functioning was clearly impaired. I experienced chronic fatigue, had trouble retaining and recalling information, and barely eeked by with a high school diploma. I attempted to go to university, but I couldn't cope with unprocessed trauma and all the ways that it had impacted learning and my experience of school and dropped out two years in. Somehow, I got a college diploma, but not without much struggle, and my attempts at working in my field (Social Services) were also mired in the residue of my difficult educational experiences: chronic lateness, "procrastination", missing deadlines, difficulty retaining and recalling information, etc.

I'm now 34-years-old and these issues continue to impact me. A lot. I'm currently unemployed. When I was employed, I was underemployed. Learning, performance, and evaluation anxiety are everywhere in my life. Applying for a job? Job skills training? Thinking about learning how to drive? A recreational skill? The rules of a board game? All of it triggers freeze response and major avoidance.

One of my favourite comedians, Maria Bamford, introduced me to the concept of Vaginismus. Bear with me. From nhs.uk: "Vaginismus is the body's