##Somewhere over Katanga...

“I have great respect for what you have done, Mr. Hammarskjöld. Regardless of how this discussion goes in the Southern province, you shall go down in history as one of the greatest leaders of the United Nations.” The Polish commander sipped a coffee. The Secretary General’s plane was plush but not lavish. They were comfortable, despite the tenuous circumstances which brought them to Katanga.

Hammarskjöld was deep in study in his notes. “Thank you much for the kind words.” He responded to the commander. If the Secretary General was afraid, he did not show it. The commander didn’t either.

The Polish commander tried to fill the silence with words, but a klaxon alarm took that honor from him as the plane banked suddenly to the right, yeeting throwing both the Secretary General’s papers and the Polish commander across the cabin. The latter stood to his feet and rested his hand on his sidearm, making his way towards the cockpit to investigate. The former remained on the ground, as it is paper.

Outside, a thick black plume of smoke trailed behind one of the Polish MiGs as it careened into the rainforest below, illuminating the darkness with a fiery explosion. By now, the Polish commander had returned to Hammarskjöld, panic in his eyes. “We are under attack!” he said. The plane banked to the left this time.

Dag Hammarskjöld said nothing, and just calmly stared out of the window at the flames from the MiG crash as they faded out of sight. He reached into his coat pocket and removed his oath of office, reading it over and over in his mind. The UN jet banked right again, but before it could finish the maneuver it shook violently, and all the lights inside went out. The jet began to descend, and the Polish commander began fingering a rosary he kept in his pocket and repeating a prayer. Dag leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.

Just as the plane was nearing the ground, the pilot pulled upwards sharply, and managed to level the aircraft. With full flaps trying to slow its speed as much as possible, the plane collided with the ground, and began to skid on a dusty African field. At this point, the pilot had no control, and could do nothing but pray. One of the wings was torn off by a sturdy baobab tree, and the other was eaten way as it collided with the scrubland over and over again. Just the fuselage, a shell of its former self skidded to a stop, the dry late summer scrubland creating a massive dust cloud around it.

Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Republic of Nigeria

[Jan/Feb 2029]

FOREIGN MINISTER DAVID MARK

Upon recent revelations of an organized political and armed actor in Katanga province, we wish to discuss the issue with our close allies in Pretoria.

Part of what has brought us to this position in the first place has been the central government's inability to establish control over farflung regions of the nation as the DRC is vast and difficult to geographically cover. This is compounded by infrastructure issues but even a proper road system isn't fully going to solve the issues.

It is a miracle that a seat of power in Lubumbashi has managed to keep the region relatively isolated from the chaos. We believe that when left alone in this manner, Katanga has proven its ability to form together as a cohesive political entity.

Nigerian patience can only go on so long, friends, we've been stuck in the DRC for a decade now. We believe that it is in our interest to promise the leaders of Katanga independence in exchange for securing and stabilizing their region.

We also believe that an independent Katanga, embedded as a member of the SADC, will allow for South Africa to expand its stability and economic prosperity into that region as a positive influence.

There is no avoiding the reality that, while South Africa has strong connections to the DRC Armed Forces, Nigeria is essential the patron of the interim government in Kikwit. Though we would be deeply saddened by South Africa misinterpreting this as an offer of "Take Katanga and leave us the rest," we do believe we can work better with responsibilities in post-conflict in Central Africa properly delineated. It would dispel any worries about Nigeria's political influence on Kinshasa to share that responsibility with South Africa but also have South Africa play a similar role assisting independent Katanga.

We wish for a swift response as this war needs to be finished quickly. An independent Katanga will likely contribute to that.

This timeline is for the fanfiction, "Summoning India", which is currently being written. It does not describe what is going to happen, but what happened before the teleportation event. This would help give anyone a brief understanding of this Alternate India from 2000, so that no one gets confused with the IRL one.

And yes, I know this is like a bio chapter but hey, I don't want people coming to me and being like, "Hey India had Su-30MK in the year 2000, not the F-16! And why is India using the M113 and not the BMP-1/2!!!"

Link for my fanfiction's cover art

Also sorry for any mistakes, I am new to Reddit and still figuring out myself.

Time line starts from here.

1947- After 200 years under British rule, British India gained its Independence. As per the Indian Independence Act passed in the Westminster Parliament, the British Raj was partitioned into two separate independent nations, Secular Dominion of India under the elected Prime Minister Vallabhai Patel and Muslim dominated Dominion of Pakistan.

(Change of leadership - Vallabhai Patel was a man of action and known for his support for his armed forces and a strong united nation, both internal and external power projection. Thus Nehru becoming his deputy here instead )

1947/48- First Indo-Pak War. Both nations were still suffering from the communal violence that had ensued following the partition when an armed conflict arose on the question of who will take the Princely State of Jammu and Kashmir. The war began with a surprise Pakistan sponsored raider attack, overwhelming the State forces.

The ruler of the state, King Hari Singh signed the instrument of accession, which allowed the Indian Army to move in and fight off the raiders. Consequently, regular Pakistani Armed Forces entered combat and, after a year of intense fighting, the United Nations brokered a ceasefire. They left Pakistan with a third of Kashmir and India the rest.

[The Point of Divergence]

August 1950- India answers the call to arms by the United Nations and sends 6 Battalions (4200 soldiers) of the 1st Gorkha Rifles and an Army Medical unit 60th Parachute Field Ambulance to assist the Republic of Korea (South Koreans) in the Korean war. This act puts India to be seen in a better light by the United States and its allies. Indian troops would go on to fight commendably in the war, gaining widespread recognitio

Hello everyone! Like last time, this hotfix doesn’t bring anything major, outside of some changes in preparation for future work. However, there were quite a few reported bugs since 0.19.1, including several that could derail playthroughs, so we decided to release a second hotfix for March on the Drina. Enjoy, and stay tuned for news as to what the next release might be!

• The KR4 team

Changes

Notable Additions

• The Vilayet of Armenia no longer exists on the map as a country, and instead is now held directly by the Ottomans. This is a change done in preparation for future work on the Caucasus’ content.
• Britain’s population is no longer 3M smaller than its OTL value.
• The Garner-Wagner Bill passing or failing is now an event choice, instead of being random.
• Russia can now request alliances with countries that claim its lands - but the latter have a very high chance of requesting the return of their cores in exchange for joining the Moscow Accord.
• Wars now cause a -30% stability penalty as in vanilla.

GFX

• Portraits
  • Combined Syndicates of America: Robert S. Allen
  • Commune of France: Clément Blanc, Édouard Peisson
  • Paraguay: Eligio Ayala
  • United States of America: Alf Landon
• New icons:
  • Lebanon
  • Persia
• New flags for Buganda, Socialist Korea, Nepal, socialist Netherlands..
• Updated flag renders for Afghanistan, Belgium, Canada, Dominion of India, Germany, German East Asia, German State, Left Kuomintang, Mittelafrika, Rhodesia, Südwestafrika, Tibet and Wallonia.

Mapping

• Reworked the borders of the Kars Oblast and corrected the position of Lake Sevan.
• Expanded the Murmansk state to cover the Murman Railway.
• Added a new victory point to Karelia, and adjusted its population.
• Edited the Caucasian terrain map.
• Adjusted Kars’ area.
• Added a strategic region for the Persian Gulf.
• Fixed a frontline issue near Johannesburg in the Transvaal.
• Fixed Bermuda being a desert.

Other Changes

• North America
  • Centroamerica’s Moderados are now RadSoc.
  • Costa Rica can no longer unify Central America by simply having the same government as them.
  • Added Robert S. Allen to the CSA's commander roster.
  • For Guatemala, Ubico's coup can't trigger for puppets anymore.
  • Haiti’s Monte Cristi national focus now bypasses if the Dominican Republic is dead.
  • Renamed some New Englander equipment to not be Canadian.
  • The US splinters will now never break the ceasefire during its first month, even if

theme

War, war never changes especially in Africa. Things have seemed to have become quite stagnant in terms of military developments on the Continent as the tactics and broader doctrine of so much of the Continent have changed surprisingly little since the Great War.

#A Crisis Most Diplomatic

The lines were drawn for the game, but the rules remained unwritten and ever shifting, especially in light of Major-General Mobutu’s influence over the government.^1 The United Nations mission to the Congo laid the foundations of hope for a less violent resolution to the crisis; the unfortunate side effect of this was a discovery of Soviet arms in the hands of insurrectionists in the so-called “Free Republic of the Congo” has dampened the recognized government’s view of the UN mission with so many blatantly Soviet aligned states involved. In the aftermath of this, the government in Leopoldville has called for the Mission to be withdrawn as the state perceives it as a threat to its very existence. The calls from the recognized Congolese government for ONUC to be ended and all forces withdrawn serves as a direct challenge to the United Nations and its authority to mediate conflicts.

The situation has continued to worsen in recent years as the Gizenga-led Free Republic of the Congo and the Democratic Republic of the Congo escalated their attempts to solidify their control over the country. Although the long series of conflicts that engulf the Congo’s broader Crisis left much destruction in its wake, military related catastrophes were only one part in the machine of mayhem that was unleashed upon the country.

#The Invisible Enemy

Disease has been a prominent feature of the region for time immemorial, but now it’s different. Outbreaks of Cholera have been observed throughout many of the settlements and camps in the Free Republic of the Congo, affecting many thousands including soldiers who now face severe dehydration, electrolyte imbalance and seizures have become a fairly common sight among the people of the FRC. In conjunction with the Cholera outbreak in the FRC, a mild outbreak of Yellow Fever has taken hold in territories controlled by the Leopoldville government. Affecting the two governments claiming authority over the whole of the Congo have been outbreaks of Bilharzia, River Blindness and intestinal worms which have all proven to be minor albeit of some concern as it has slowed down the war efforts considerably. The worst

• (6) Horst Wilhelm Meyer and Jens-Uwe Rüsch (Giogoli - Friday, September 9, 1983)

On 9 September 1983, in Giogoli, two German boys were murdered. They were Jens-Uwe Rüsch and Horst Wilhelm Meyer, both 24, students at the University of Münster who were in their van at the time of the attack, with the radio on. The boys were reached and killed by seven bullets fired through the van, but only 4 shells of the 7 were found. The investigations following the crime established that the shots were fired from a height of about 1,3 to 1,5 meters from the ground, which suggests that the killer was at least 1.80 meters (5,11 ft) tall, or even more. However, the hypothesis of the killer's height being above average is not shared by everyone. The murderer first killed Meyer with three shots in very rapid succession, while Rüsch tried in vain to escape but was then also hit by four bullets. Once the two young men were killed, the murderer got on the back of the van but, realizing that the victims were both male, he disappeared without using sidearms and carrying out any excision on the bodies. In this case, the killer was perhaps misled by Rüsch's long hair and slender build, who was probably mistaken for a woman. The victims' money and cameras were not taken, nor did any valuables appear to be missing. It was therefore thought that the murderer, who couldnt be Stefano Mele (he was in jail) nor Francesco Vinci, could instead be another person belonging to their circle of acquaintances. Giovanni Mele (Stefano's brother) and Piero Mucciarini (Giovanni Mele's brother-in-law) were therefore indicted and investigated. Piero Mucciarini and Giovanni Mele remained detained for eight months on charges of being the perpetrators of the double murders. The two were then released from prison, and quickly got out of the investigation definitively, as there was no evidence against them that would justify their indictment. Above all, the two were in prison during the period in which the murder of Claudio Stefanacci and Pia Rontini was committed. For a certain period Salvatore Vinci, Francesco's brother was also investigated for the murders. Stefano Mele died in 1995 of a heart attack following surgery, while residing in a hospice for ex-prisoners.

• (7) Claudio Stefanacci and Pia Rontini (Vicchio - Sunday, July 29, 1984)

The victims of the penultimate crime were Claudio Stefanacci (21-year-old university student) and 18-year-old Pia Gilda Rontini (employed at a bar and majorette

Intro theme

##Which Way the Wind Blows

Theme

“Oh Liberia, you have but fallen on such horrible times,” the words were spoken by a young man named Orville Winston Johnson as the news came across the radio. For a few days, protests had rocked the capital of Monrovia, prompting the state to put the nation on high alert. So much seemed so familiar to onlookers. The Republic’s defense mechanisms were unwilling to do what had to be done to quell the protests and other manifestations that ran amok through the city, but they were willing and able to veto the government who has grown increasingly close to the Socialist world.

The coup was simple, fast and saw minimal violence. President Tolbert was arrested by the military on charges of crimes against the peoples of Liberia, gross negligence, corruption, criminal enterprise, and grand dereliction of duty. Secretary of the Treasury, Charles Dunbar Sherman was also arrested. Both men were sentenced to life in exile, the two men would move to the United States. In the aftermath of the coup, James Edward Greene was made Interim President of Liberia with the country placed formally under military administration with staunchly conservative pro-American politicians put in with a general favor given to members of the True Whig Party. On top of this, several government policies have been reversed, including the controversial “Liberianization” policies. Although the coup saw a great decrease in new investors into Liberia, already entrenched investors saw profits increase somewhat because of reduced power of the Liberian Dollar.

##A Cold Case of Constant Struggle

Theme

The UAR’s mission to unite the Arab peoples under the Ba’athist flag have proven shockingly successful in the Levant with a few hiccups, particularly in the Syrian Civil War, but that’s not the point; the point is that they have been fairly successful in the downfall of the various monarchies surrounding the Levant. The primary issue that faces them today, however, is Egypt.

As time has moved on, the struggle for power over who controls Egypt has only intensified. The public wants, at the bare minimum, autonomy for the country with still popular support for Nasser. On the other hand, the minority who support the Ba’athist cause have hoped for the Aleppo-based government to take further control. The complicating aspects of this ordeal were the posturing of

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.