A Harper Lee novel on trial refused to open up about their case case, but was still judged by it's cover.

Moral of the story... Don't kill animals.

Edit: remove one case

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevographic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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I feel like I am being judged all the time.

Probably because I am a lawyer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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I've already been judged by the mods at /r/nopuns...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mobius_sp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2016
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What's the city in Pakistan where high Tibetan monks are judged based on their morality called?

IsLamaBad?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kamehamehaa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2017
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A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge asks her. "First offender?"

She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RodimusMajor84
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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I used to be a judge for the world orchestra championships, but I quit because too many of them were coming out with outlandish sob stories to win me over...

Always trying to get the symphony vote.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/T33NW01F
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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Don’t judge a meal by the look of the first course.

It’s very souperficial.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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I only judge men that are tall

I guess you could say I’m judgemental

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sofa-king-dope
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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A proton went before a judge...

... for impersonating a hydrogen atom. The verdict was "guilty as charged".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/quietconsigliere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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Did you hear that a judge has demanded Dr. Pimple Popper grab any person off the street and remove pus-filled sacs within their skin?

It's a seize and de-cyst order!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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What did the judge say when she went to the dentist?

Do you swear to take the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Incromulent
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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i created this dont judge.... πŸ™„

Me: mumbles I did not understand this chapter about electricity...
My friend: Watt?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flaming_Cash
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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When the Wright Brothers were arrested for trespassing at Kitty Hawk, the judge refused to grant them bail...

...he considered them a flight risk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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Joke from my 10 yr old: How do hobbits judge their designs?

They make a Frodo-type.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GovernorZipper
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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My coworker asked me to judge their tan...

I gave it a tan out of tan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tali3sin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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I made the Judge laugh so hard

I was guilty of Mans laughter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Derkix5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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For the charge of murder, the judge only gave Ray Liotta and Joe Pesci community service

because they were goodfellas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sergioarmagh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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The owner of the Indianpolis Colts will be in trouble if he has to speak in court, because no matter what he says the judge will think...

That's Irsay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dawsonju
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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Judge: "So, Mr Robot. Your neighbour accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you plead?"

The defendant who is a robot: "Guilty as charged"

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom?

β€œOdour in the court!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Judge threw the book at her
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loot98
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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A burglar broke into my house and I pushed my bookcase on top of him.

It was shelf defense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kylejay915
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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What did the man say to the judge after running over chickens at a playground?

β€œIn my defense, Your Honor, there were no signs of fowl play”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dingdongdan69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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β€œJudge, 50% of my parking tickets are bogus!”

Judge: Repeat infractions?

Man: Ok..... Judge, half of my parking tickets are bogus!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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I was caught cheating in a big tongue-twister tournament

The judge is bound to give me a tough sentence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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What do you call a judge who broke the law?

Criminal Justice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Der-Kommissar-III
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Mickey mouse failed to divorce with Minnie mouse because the judges said β€œyou can’t just divorce with someone for being stupid” to which Mickey said:

β€œI didn’t say she was stupid, I said she was fucking Goofy”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/c0olzero
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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Lawyer: My client is trapped inside a penny.

Judge: What?

Lawyer: He's in a cent.

Judge: You're going to jail with him.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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A gang of outlaw cows rob a bank and flee..

The police track them to a motel, but can't narrow it down further. They call the judge and he writes out a warrant to search room #8 at the motel. Police break down the door and arrest the gang of cows with the stash.

Later the police captain calls the judge, "Your honor, how did you know where the gang would be hiding?"

Judge says, "It's easy Captain. Cows always room in 8".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LateralAxes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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I have a joke about sentences...

But I fear I may get executed. People are too judgy nowadays.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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What do you call a Judge with no thumbs?

Just-his fingers....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobbylake71
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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What does a judge get with his whiskey?

Just ice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sirnogbert88
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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2 silk worms had a race...

....they ended up in a tie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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I am a judge for peanut beauty pageants

My job is pretty nuts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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What kind of dinosaur judges you?

connoisseur

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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A little corny, but who am I to judge?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/babydoll_bd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
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In coal country there was a highly-regarded regional dish made from the community’s table scraps.

You can’t make it legally anymore though. A judge ruled that all the people supplying food were contributing to the delicacy of a miner.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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Judge: I hereby find you guilty for all crimes you have been charged with. For sentencing I order you to spend life behind bars without possibility of parole

Criminal: That's a long sentence, I demand a shorter one.

Judge: U did it. Go 2 jail forever.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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Why did the judge set the bail so low for the ostrich charged with assault?

He wasn't a flight risk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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The cake shows up to the talent show and takes center stage. When the judge asks what is his talent. He replies...

"Icing"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IronHusker88
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

DO you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saiyyanwarrior
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. β€œFirst offender?” the judge asked.

β€œNo” she replied. β€œFirst a Gibson , then a Fender”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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What did the judge say to the molar?

Do you swear to tell the tooth and nothing but the tooth?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom

Odor in the court!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tpatt83
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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β€œJudge, I want to contest 50% of my parking tickets. I think they are bogus!”

Judge: Repeat infractions?

Man: Ok. I want to contest half of my parking tickets. I think they are bogus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report

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