A Harper Lee novel on trial refused to open up about their case case, but was still judged by it's cover.
Moral of the story... Don't kill animals.
Edit: remove one case
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︎ Jan 19 2021
I feel like I am being judged all the time.
Probably because I am a lawyer.
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︎ Sep 06 2019
I've already been judged by the mods at /r/nopuns...
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︎ Apr 21 2016
What's the city in Pakistan where high Tibetan monks are judged based on their morality called?
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︎ Jan 17 2017
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge asks her. "First offender?"
She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"
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︎ May 11 2021
I used to be a judge for the world orchestra championships, but I quit because too many of them were coming out with outlandish sob stories to win me over...
Always trying to get the symphony vote.
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︎ Apr 17 2021
Donβt judge a meal by the look of the first course.
Itβs very souperficial.
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︎ Apr 22 2021
I only judge men that are tall
I guess you could say Iβm judgemental
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︎ Apr 05 2021
A proton went before a judge...
... for impersonating a hydrogen atom. The verdict was "guilty as charged".
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︎ Apr 15 2021
Did you hear that a judge has demanded Dr. Pimple Popper grab any person off the street and remove pus-filled sacs within their skin?
It's a seize and de-cyst order!
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︎ Apr 29 2021
What did the judge say when she went to the dentist?
Do you swear to take the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?
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︎ Apr 08 2021
i created this dont judge.... π
Me: mumbles I did not understand this chapter about electricity...
My friend: Watt?
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︎ Feb 04 2021
When the Wright Brothers were arrested for trespassing at Kitty Hawk, the judge refused to grant them bail...
...he considered them a flight risk.
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︎ Mar 31 2021
Joke from my 10 yr old: How do hobbits judge their designs?
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︎ Feb 20 2021
My coworker asked me to judge their tan...
I gave it a tan out of tan.
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︎ Feb 26 2021
I made the Judge laugh so hard
I was guilty of Mans laughter.
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︎ Jan 15 2021
For the charge of murder, the judge only gave Ray Liotta and Joe Pesci community service
because they were goodfellas
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︎ Mar 07 2021
The owner of the Indianpolis Colts will be in trouble if he has to speak in court, because no matter what he says the judge will think...
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︎ Jan 28 2021
Judge: "So, Mr Robot. Your neighbour accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you plead?"
The defendant who is a robot: "Guilty as charged"
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︎ Feb 11 2021
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom?
βOdour in the court!β
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Judge threw the book at her
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︎ Oct 25 2020
A burglar broke into my house and I pushed my bookcase on top of him.
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︎ Jan 24 2021
What did the man say to the judge after running over chickens at a playground?
βIn my defense, Your Honor, there were no signs of fowl playβ
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︎ Dec 07 2020
βJudge, 50% of my parking tickets are bogus!β
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Ok..... Judge, half of my parking tickets are bogus!
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︎ Sep 24 2020
I was caught cheating in a big tongue-twister tournament
The judge is bound to give me a tough sentence
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︎ Mar 23 2021
What do you call a judge who broke the law?
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︎ Oct 26 2020
Mickey mouse failed to divorce with Minnie mouse because the judges said βyou canβt just divorce with someone for being stupidβ to which Mickey said:
βI didnβt say she was stupid, I said she was fucking Goofyβ
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︎ Sep 13 2020
Lawyer: My client is trapped inside a penny.
Judge: What?
Lawyer: He's in a cent.
Judge: You're going to jail with him.
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︎ Mar 18 2021
A gang of outlaw cows rob a bank and flee..
The police track them to a motel, but can't narrow it down further. They call the judge and he writes out a warrant to search room #8 at the motel. Police break down the door and arrest the gang of cows with the stash.
Later the police captain calls the judge, "Your honor, how did you know where the gang would be hiding?"
Judge says, "It's easy Captain. Cows always room in 8".
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︎ Apr 29 2021
I have a joke about sentences...
But I fear I may get executed. People are too judgy nowadays.
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︎ Apr 20 2021
What do you call a Judge with no thumbs?
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︎ Sep 21 2020
What does a judge get with his whiskey?
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︎ Aug 06 2020
2 silk worms had a race...
....they ended up in a tie.
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︎ Mar 19 2021
I am a judge for peanut beauty pageants
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︎ Aug 05 2020
What kind of dinosaur judges you?
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︎ Sep 28 2020
A little corny, but who am I to judge?
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︎ Oct 02 2018
In coal country there was a highly-regarded regional dish made from the communityβs table scraps.
You canβt make it legally anymore though. A judge ruled that all the people supplying food were contributing to the delicacy of a miner.
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︎ Apr 30 2021
Judge: I hereby find you guilty for all crimes you have been charged with. For sentencing I order you to spend life behind bars without possibility of parole
Criminal: That's a long sentence, I demand a shorter one.
Judge: U did it. Go 2 jail forever.
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︎ Dec 12 2019
Why did the judge set the bail so low for the ostrich charged with assault?
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︎ Jun 06 2020
The cake shows up to the talent show and takes center stage. When the judge asks what is his talent. He replies...
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︎ Jun 16 2020
What did the judge say to the dentist?
DO you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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︎ Feb 18 2021
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. βFirst offender?β the judge asked.
βNoβ she replied. βFirst a Gibson , then a Fenderβ
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︎ Dec 03 2020
What did the judge say to the molar?
Do you swear to tell the tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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︎ Jan 10 2021
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom
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︎ Oct 29 2020
What did the judge say to the dentist?
Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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︎ Oct 18 2020
βJudge, I want to contest 50% of my parking tickets. I think they are bogus!β
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Ok. I want to contest half of my parking tickets. I think they are bogus.
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︎ Aug 23 2020
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