Ir Puns

A list of puns related to "Ir"

Has anyone realize “The IRS”

Spells “theirs”?

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👤︎ u/sarcasticpremed
📅︎ Oct 08 2020
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I quit my job at the IRS.

It was just too taxing.

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👤︎ u/masterjon_3
📅︎ Nov 26 2020
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I'm in big trouble, you guys. I bought a set of fake pushpins and put them by the bulletin board in the IRS break room.

Now I'm wanted for tacks fraud.

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👤︎ u/fuzzus628
📅︎ Dec 09 2020
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What ir a Christian's favorite chord?

Gsus

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👤︎ u/Alex13104
📅︎ Sep 25 2020
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I tried to pay my taxes to the IRS with a smile

Turns out they prefer money.

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👤︎ u/UsernameNoAvailable
📅︎ Jun 25 2020
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Dadjoke by IRS, but for real

IRS: It’s time for you to pay your taxes

Me: Ok, how much is it?

IRS: Well, that’s up to you to figure it out

Me: Cool, so I can pay as much as I want

IRS: Oh no! We know EXACTLY how much you owe and if you do it wrong you could go to jail

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👤︎ u/danuser8
📅︎ Jul 01 2020
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Why was the Tatooine IRS always going after the sand people?

Because they single file to hide their numbers.

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👤︎ u/popegonzo
📅︎ Mar 22 2020
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Why are IRS employees always tired when they get home?

Their jobs are taxing.

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👤︎ u/bingomzan
📅︎ Dec 08 2019
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A genie granted me one wish. I wanted to be rich, but didn't want to deal with the IRS and decided I wanted wealth as I needed it. So I wished for the touch of Midas.

After that, everything I touched turned into a muffler.

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👤︎ u/notagoodspelller
📅︎ Apr 17 2020
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Why is the IRS always tired?

Taking money for the government is taxing

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👤︎ u/blackbird611
📅︎ Jul 05 2019
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IRS Auditor: For your tax return, you just wrote down “Money for Nothing, Checks for Free??”

Me: Am I in trouble?

Auditor: Yes. In Dire Straits.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Nov 04 2018
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What do you call it when the IRS starts stuffing dead animals?

Income taxidermy

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👤︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
📅︎ Apr 15 2019
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What do you call a race between a bunch of IRS workers?

A taxer-Derby.

Boy, these jokes are really taking a toll on me.

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👤︎ u/Ratfrk
📅︎ Feb 14 2019
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Why did the blinds salesman get audited by the IRS?

His business operations were shady

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👤︎ u/troxosaurus
📅︎ Feb 03 2019
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I just started my new job at the IRS.

So far, it's been pretty taxing.

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👤︎ u/KelvinShadewing
📅︎ Feb 14 2017
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Did you hear about the horseback-riding business that got shut down by the IRS?

Apparently they were paying their employees under the stable.

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👤︎ u/CaptainBatpants
📅︎ Mar 23 2018
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Why did the IRS change their logo to a dolphin?

For tax porpoises.

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👤︎ u/mfdl
📅︎ Oct 23 2016
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Is a Canadian retirement plan called an IR, eh?
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👤︎ u/TableLampOttoman
📅︎ Dec 10 2014
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Did you see that the IRS was doing a bunch of audits and found one corporation listed a turtle as their CEO?

Turns out it was a shell company.

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👤︎ u/stretch85
📅︎ Oct 19 2016
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USPS Questions

Should tortillas be sent flat rate? Is armor headgear sent over knight? Is an addicts mail tracked? Is mail to Gold's gym sent bulk rate? Should mail to a school's kindergarten be sent 1st class? Should the IRS send return receipts? just wondering...

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👤︎ u/bolt470
📅︎ Jan 18 2021
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After graduating from high school, my daughter moved away from home to study at university. She sent this letter home to me…

Dear Dad,

University i$ really great.

I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.

With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, your $usie.

I immediately replied back…

Dear Susie,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.

Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love, Dad

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
📅︎ Mar 15 2019
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Why are you supposed to round to the nearest dollar on your tax returns?

Because the IRS has no cents.

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👤︎ u/MSchmahl
📅︎ Apr 15 2020
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GF has been working on her taxes for the last two hours

"This is too much - I'm exhausted!"

"...sounds taxing."

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👤︎ u/DrThuglove
📅︎ Feb 20 2015
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Tax season

My SO: "You seem tired, did you have a busy night?"

Me: "No, I just did taxes. I didn't realize they can be so... taxing."

Pretty damn proud of myself for that one.

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👤︎ u/Jinkies287
📅︎ Apr 27 2014
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A penny saved is NOT a penny earned

A penny saved, is actually about 1.25 pennies, once you account for Income Tax.

[my dad works for the Canadian tax department (IRS) and he used to always say that when I was a kid. He thought he was very funny. I'm now starting to see the wisdom in that statement.

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👤︎ u/patchy_22
📅︎ Mar 19 2019
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What did the US Virgin Islands say when it got fucked by the Hurricane?

Ir. ..ma...God!!

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👤︎ u/doctor-starfish
📅︎ Sep 09 2017
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Where does a ghost go after it's been exorcised from a home?

It joins the IRS and begins repossessing houses

(My first attempt at a Dad joke)

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👤︎ u/dakotathehuman
📅︎ Apr 23 2017
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The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=82&v=xlIrI80og8c

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👤︎ u/Ce1ska
📅︎ Sep 30 2015
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My dad recently became a grandpa, and I became aunt. I'm glad dad jokes never 'bug' me.

http://imgur.com/6kIrWp5

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👤︎ u/blue_effect
📅︎ Aug 03 2014
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