The neighbors’ invitations to their swingers party has an RSVP.
I told them I’m gonna come early.
When my mum asked me to hand out invitations for my brother's surprise birthday party ....
It was at that moment I realised that he was the favourite twin.
I’m planning a paint themed party for my friend, any paint/art themed puns I can use for the invitations?
Ironman is always suspicious of Aquaman’s pool party invitations.
Darth Vader sent out invitations to his cottage party.
He wrote “come to the dock side”
My co worker was upset that office depot ruined her wedding invitations
She told a group of us that there was a huge black line down the middle of all the invites, I asked "so I guess black lines do matter?" She hit me, told me I was stupid, then cried. I feel it was worth it.
Why was the dentist invited to King Charles Coronation?
Because the King needed a new crown.
I was invited over to a friend's house to eat exotic sea food...
When I got there, he filled my plate with a pile of small conifer branches. I said "I thought we were eating exotic sea food?" He looks at me and says "with fronds like yew, who needs anemones?"
Did you hear about what happened when Calcium invited Phosphorus and vitamin D to dinner?
The man who invited spell check died yesterday.
My wedding will be next week but I'm afraid I couldn't invite my best friends for my bachelor party
Because they all have Master degrees
My friend, the hockey player invited me to have Easter dinner with his entire family.
So I sat down and had dinner with his father, son and the goalie host.
I knew a guy who would invite people he was angry at over for steak or burgers.
Apparently he had beef with them.
I was invited to a gender reveal party...
Why am I the only person naked here?I
Chris Rock just declined the invite to host 2023 Academy Awards.
That's a real shame, last time he hosted it absolutely slapped
I was invited to a wealthy French person's house recently, and he was showing me his yacht collection at his private marina.
As we walked down the quay, this person was telling me "Ah oui, zis is yacht numero un, zis is numero deux, trois, zis is quatre, six, numero sept.."
I stopped him, and I told him, "What happened to number five?"
He said, "Ah oui, that's cinq"
What do you call 5 ants renting an apartment and invited their 5 friends over
What did the antisocial yoga instructor say when her friends invited her to go out?
What did the llama say when invited to an impromptu weekend getaway?
We invited friends over to a party where we served only croissants, but no one came ...
Guess the whole thing was just too flaky for everyone.
Never invite John Milton to game night.
Third time now, each one there’s a pair of dice lost.
Roommates Sarah and Beth invite Mary over for drinks
They are drinking wine and having a great time, when Mary spills her drink on her shirt. Mary asks Beth if she could borrow one of her tops. Beth laughs and says “you’d never fit in one of my shirts, you’re the size of a dinosaur! Try Sarah’s tops.”
I invited a local band to play in my cornfield.
“Meat” you or “meet” you?
Invitation to All Jokers
I'm starting a new subReddit for all things TIME TRAVEL. We'll be holding a meeting with some FREE giveaways and introduction to the mods. Try to make it for a live session:
Last Thursday at 8pm EST
OR
April 1, 1999 at midnight.
It was wonderful to see you there.
Silly Sam is no longer invited to go sledding
Since he got mixed up and brought a sliding door
What's the worst thing about being a German cat?
I was invited to do standup dad jokes at the local school for deaf students.
Luckily I know sigh language.
Two rockmelons fell in love. They absolutely must have a big wedding and invite everyone.
Yesterday we said “May the 4th be with You….”
Today we celebrate 🎉 🎊 Cinco de Mayo….
Tomorrow it will be Revenge of the Sixth.
It was a mistake to invite our quarterback to the team party.
Every cheerleader I spoke to said he made a pass.
I invited my girlfriend to go to the gym with me and then I didn’t show.
I hope she gets the message that we’re not working out.
I was invited to a Chinese mobile phone manufacturer's late afternoon fish meal but I already had prior arrangements that I couldn't get out of.
It was a missed OPPO tuna tea.
Why was mushroom invited to the party?
Why was the volleyball team always invited to the party?
They could easily spike the punch.
I once dated a communist girl but I realised it was a mistake when she invited me over.
There were red flags everywhere!
Can someone please tell me what “idk” stands for?
I’ve asked lots of people but nobody seems to know.
2,4,6,8 all had a bike race
I was invited to a conspiracy theorists’ convention
Eugene Levy & his wife invited me to a non-alcoholic party
Drove my Chevy to the Levys but the Levys were dry.
Dressed up as RaPUNzel for Halloween, it was a knotty costume 😜
Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door this morning. I invited them in asked if the wanted something to drink and eat, both said yes. After finishing their Coffee and Cake I said " so what would you like to talk about?"
They said "We don't know we've never got this far".
My crush invited me to do yoga with her
I invited my boyfriend over for dinner and he said I was an amazing cook.
But really it was just a roux.
never invite Coffee Man to a Function
My dad asked me to hand out invitations for my brothers surprise birthday party...
That's when I realised he was the favourite twin.
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