He was sent to a watery grave.
I’m really happy for you Omelette you finish, but I have the best egg puns around
Thank goodness it was only a bad stream
Around mid-knight.
“Stop interrupting! It’s not your story, it’s ‘history.’”
Edit: not sure how to express the pun of the word ‘history’ so to clarify, it’s a play on ‘his story.’
One of them said "back off, my beef isn't with you"
I replied "I know, it's with our butcher"
Knock Knock / Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh—
Moooooooo!
There should be a Trump version.
Knock knock / Who's there?
Interrupting Trump.
Interrupting Trump wh—
Fake moos!
Everyone knows the interrupting cow knock knock joke but we like making up KKJs for other cows. Here are some of ours; please add more so I can continue to surprise and delight the young people near and dear to me. TIA!
(Obviously each joke goes "Knock knock" etc. I'll just write the "cow" part and the punchline)
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French cow: le moo
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Backwards cow: oom
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Upside down cow: woo
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Sad cow: moo hoo hoo
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Ghost cow: moo-oo-oo-oooo
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Police cow: moo ee oo ee oo ee oo
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Cow on a motorbike: (make zooming moo)
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Cow in disguise: Baa
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Horse in disguise: Moo
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Invisible cow: (quickly cover child's eyes) Moo
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Inaudible cow:
Chances are, you'll hear some cross words
They get really cranky if they don't get enough sleep
She always said we had to talk.
A monk sits at the peak of a hill that overlooks where the grassy Earth meets a river, the river flows with a breeze, and the breeze explores a mountain range, and the mountains neighbor the sky, and the sky conceals the entire universe, hiding the unknown in plain sight. The monk exhales "Ooooomm". He repeats this until a noise, very faint, breaks his chant.
"moo."
The monk stops for a moment but, without changing his position, dismisses it. "Ooooooommm." He begins again.
He's interrupted again, "moooo."
The monk turns to find a cow looking up at him from the bottom of the hill. "Kind cow," the monk says, "please do not interrupt my meditation."
The cow stares blankly back at the monk. The monk sighs and continues.
"Oooooommmm-"
Even louder, "Mmmooooooooo."
"Dear cow, I must reach enlightenment. Please, refrain from making your cow noises or find another hill."
The monk continues again, "Oooooooommmm-"
"MMMmmoooooooooooO!" The cow exclaims.
The monk stands up angrily, "Cow! Why must you interrupt my chanting?"
The cow replies, "Because you're saying it backwards!"
“They Mash!” “Yes son! They do the monster mash”
I would always have to pick up where I left off with "psoas I was saying".
Son: Knock, knock.
Me: Who’s there?
Son: Interrupting Dad.
Me: Interrupting Da-
Son: “BUUUURRP!”
I got dad joked by my 8 year old...The bartender interrupted him and said, "Hey can you make this brief?"
You might hear some cross words.
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-eeeeet!" Again, the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!" Finally, the guy interrupts. "Go home, dad, you're drunk.”
As a kid, if I ever said the word “apparently”, he would interrupt to shout “A Son Riley!”
Didn’t want to interrupt.
I interrupted him and said “I already read it before”
He said, ” Do you mean, You’ve been on reddit before?”
I replied, “No I mean I’ve read it before.”
My friend said, “ Dude with that grammar I doubt you’ve read anything before.”
I protested, “ Hey, I’ve read IT”
Because it's a trap
he interrupted me
Last night, I tried to tell my 10 year old daughter the classic "Kangaroo walks into a bar" joke. For those who are not familiar, a version of this. I got to the point where the Kangaroo orders the first beer, and my daughter interrupted me with "let me guess - the beer wasn't hoppy enough." Nope. But I like the way she thinks!
I interrupted the conversation and said "you mean the acCOWntants?"
This was over a month ago and I still proudly think about that joke.
Ran into my dad when I was out and about with a friend. We sat down for a drink and conversation somehow turned to our respective work places. My friend says "I work at Google and there...". My dad interrupts him and legit goes "Really?! You work at Google? I Google at work!" with this stupid grin on his face.
I could hear loudly my friend's silent groan :)
8yo - Hey dad, knock knock
Me - who's there?
8yo - daddy boo
Me - daddy boo who?
8yo - awwww dad, don't cry, your life isn't that bad!
I just got dad-joked, hard!
My 7 year old daughter calls me: " Dad, can you help me with..."
” I'm not your Dad" — I interrupt trying the daily dad joke– "I'm an alien, an my friends kidnapped your Dad"
7y old daughter: "you mean... he was Dadnapped"
I was explaining something to a client and a real estate agent when I am interrupted by a Train whistle. I pause waiting for it to end.
I then continue my explanation. Only to get interrupted again for a good 15 seconds.
After it ends.
Me: Long pause.... I'm sorry I've lost my train of thought.
The agent chuckled. But I could hear everyone else rolling their eyes.
He says, “Doctor, you have to help. The stress is getting to me. I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam, I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam, I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam, I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam.”
The doctor interrupts him and says, “Relax man, you’re two tents.”
...did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?”
Dads asks “what are you playing son?” Son seems aggravated by being interrupted and answers, “Minecraft. “
Dad replies “so one could say you’re practicing for a career in the mining business.”
Kid says, “why don’t you mine your own business and leave me alone!”
Here's a joke my dad told me. Sorry if you've heard it, but I found it hilarious, and I think you might enjoy it.
In a small town in the suburbs, there was a small family of balloons. There was a mummy balloon, a daddy balloon, and a small child balloon. Every night the boy would sleep between his parents, but his father had had enough.
"son, I know you love sleeping between us, but you're getting a bit too old for it., " the father said. "You're nearly 8, you're a big boy, and your mother and I think you should sleep in your own bed from now on. You can stay tonight but starting tomorrow we want you in your own bed. Do you understand?"
"Yeah dad, I understand..." the boy said with a maudlin tinge to his voice.
"okay son, I love you."
"love you too dad"
The next night the boy tried sleeping in his own bed, but there was a storm outside. It was a dark, ominous storm - the kind of storm that sounds like a cataclysm for the end of the world.
The boy was scared, so he went to sleep in his parents room. However when he tried to squeeze between them, he found he didn't fit. He felt defeated. He felt scared. He felt alone.
But then an idea struck him. He decided he'd just let a little bit of air out of his father. He tried to squeeze in again, but had no such luck. So he let a little bit of air out of his mother. He tried again. Still no luck. Finally, he decided to let some air out of himself. Success! He squeezed in tightly and drifted off to sleep.
The next morning his parents were furious. His father was feeling particularly angry, and screamed at his son.
"son, I told you not to sleep in our room. I told you to sleep in your own bed! Didn't I say that Hun?"
"yes dear," the mother said, feeling slightly deflated.
"so son, what do you have to say for yourself?" the father asked in anger.
"it was dark and stormy and..." the boy tried to spit out.
"I don't care son!" the father interrupted. "you can't keep doing this! I'm very disappointed. You've let me down, you've let me down, but worst of all..."
He was obviously milking it
Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.
You may hear some crosswords.
