A splurgery.
They told me, “If your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”
Waxident insurance...
They said, “If your tent gets destroyed, you won’t be covered.”
They said I have a pre existing condition.
I had to go with the Flo.
Dad: what’d they say? Me: they’ll pay me for the tow Dad: why do they want your big toe?
It’s ridiculous I only want to drive it from time to time.
it's called "oopsie daisies"
It really confused me when HR told me it was a STD.
(This actually happened to me. HR emailed my insurance company telling them that I have a STD injury. Now I use the joke all of the time)
There are rumors of yet another Bill and Ted Sequel following the one in production. Reportedly, it will feature an older, toothless Keanu Reeves who is fighting with his insurance company.
Yeah, the working title: Billin' Ted for Bogus Dentures.
The insurance company determined it was a case of wonton negligence.
Me on the phone talking to insurance company: "finance department helped us"
Son [6] after phone call: "daddy what's the finance department?"
Me: "they helped us with money to buy the car"
Ridley "oh I thought they go find ants"
... I've been out done by a six year old...
The insurance company had to break it to them that they were no longer covered.
Context: I work for an insurance company
Coworker- Man all these flood policy calls today.
Me- They really are flooding the lines.
Co workers gave me the derpiest face ever.
A little backstory: my girlfriend has had a small lizard living in her house recently. She's likened him to the mascot of a specific insurance company. Today, she found him looking rather ill and decided to release him outside.
Cue to me leaving her house tonight. As I walked out the door:
Me - "goodnight!"
Her - "Wait!"
Me - "Geez. You scared me. I thought I was stepping on something."
Her - "No, I just forgot to give you something. Oh no! The poor lizard! That would've been terrible!"
Me - " I know!! ... ... He would've never been able to achieve his Olympic dreams as a Gecko roman wrestler."
Her - "Go. Now."
We got a new car and I needed some info for the insurance company.
Me: What does the odometer read?
Her: Mostly miles, but it prefers the New Yorker for the comics.
I work in the claims department at a life insurance company. A recent addition to our department mentioned that she had an insured who died from a bowel obstruction. I couldn't help but say: "Sounds like a real shitty way to go..."
They said, “If your tents get blown over, you won’t be covered.”
I wouldn't be covered.
They said, “If your tents get blown away, you won’t be covered.”
