Remains to be seen.
Independent..
European
K9P
Just in case.
It's a gift.
Because the doctor had told him to drink his medicine with one teaspoon.
That's just abominable!
Ya they call it a crowbar.
It had been reposted 12 times before
Submarine
European!
When I looked back, u/AndreT_NY Jr was picking up one card after another, opening them up and quickly shoving them back into slots, every which way. “u/AndreT_NY Jr, what are you doing?” I asked.
“Haven’t you found a nice card for Daddy yet?”
“No,” he replied. “I’m looking for one with money in it.”
It was the Lunchpack of Notre Dame.
They don't have any windows
I told her I appreciate the sediment.
Evidently, if you know, Juneau.
He'll be born in July.
You just have to find out if it’s Monroe or Manson
The doctor is describing his condition as stable.
A ge-ode.
Must be all the popery.
Fingerprints.
I told him that’s the last thing I need
Get whale soon
That’s when shit hit the fan
Just in case.
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”
A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.
Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit ➡EDIT: Wow, this really blew up! Thanks for the gold...
Radioquacktive.
Turns out it was just the new single from the Crash Test Mummies.
Why, it's Luke warm.
About Luke warm (this is my dads joke)
We just don't share similar inch wrists.
they are so full of themselves.
Dad: How! Were you trying to play some... rock music?
** smashing guitar sounds. *
K9P
European.
K9P
Easy:
The one going in is Russian.
The one inside is European.
And the one coming out is Finnish.
K9P
you've seen the mall.
European
ARRESTaurant
And I was thinking to myself, "That makes a lot of sense... I mean, it's not going to be Orangey inside is it?"
Supplies!!
And now the best part-. Any time a character in any show does something unexpected, I say the same thing, to the MANY groans and protestations of my kids.
It's great.
