Insider Trading Puns

The SEC got him for insider trading.

I work with another dad, and all day we trade off dad jokes cracking each other up. This one is from yesterday

Paul (the other dad) was asking about a new fixture we had at work. it was explained it was a highly sensitive camera used to test the polarity of magnets. I then came around the corner and Paul wanted to tell me about it.

Paul: "This is a new thing from Ancestry.com. I can stand by it and it will tell me what percentage Polish I am"

Me: Wow, although I have a similar thing right inside of me. My stomach can tell me how Hungry I am!

I got into an ARAM game the other day. For those of you who do not know there are characters, or champions, you pick in the game. ARAM is a game-mode in League of Legends where the computer gives you a random character out of the 130+ champions, or so. I am not good at all the champions... not even close! So a way to balance this out the game allows you to trade champions with the other people on your team.

So in this game there is a champion called Fizz which I am not good with at all, which I randomly got... and this is what happened inside the pre-game chat:

Me: Oh shoot.

Me: Can anyone trade me?

--Someone trades me their champion--

Me: Thank you! I am so bad with this little guy that you can say I am... Fizzically challenged.

From a game lobby where I was the only one who used chat, it exploded to people typing their moaning and groaning, sensible chuckles, and hearty "LOLs".