What do you call the security in a Samsung Store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 526
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/professorf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2020
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Who'd want to be Trump's security guard ?

you shout "Donald, Duck" & everybody would just laugh

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fitblubber
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2021
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The cows on my dairy farm have all decided to form a new financial vehicle made up of a pool of money collected from many cows to invest in securities...

It's a mootual fund.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
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Graveyards have loads of security...

People are dying to get in!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PolskiHussar548
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2020
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What do dentists and security guards have in common?

Cavity searches.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bogtownboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
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I used to sell security alarms door to door, and I was REALLY good at it...

If no one was home, I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 77
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13 2020
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Seeing Airport Security confiscate all of my smuggled sausages out of my luggage...

...Really was the Wurst Case Scenario

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/icemage27
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2020
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What do you call security guards who guard Samsung stores.

Guardians of the Galaxies

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/beingjac
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2020
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A guy was stopped by security

Sir this is a private subdivision.

I'm just passing through.

What's that in the bag?

Oh, these are bonsia plants.

What's a bonsai plant?

They're small trees. See?

Sorry, I can't let you through.

Why?

NO TREES PASSING.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lurens_b
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2020
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The Social Security Administration

Is ASS backwards.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/altgenetics
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2020
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A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.

The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/karanrime
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2020
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What do you call a security guard at a swimming pool?

The poolice

πŸ‘οΈŽ 61
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ohhnoitsmeagain
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02 2020
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Why did I apply to security

To take away my insecurities

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ujdiejH
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2020
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Hey Kids, wanta hear a dadjoke about Social Security?

Ah, nevermind, you probably won't get it anyways?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 74
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pizzamike64
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 21 2020
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What did the kindergarten teacher say to the kindergarten security guard?

You can watch the kids, but don't Overwatch them.

That's just creepy...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/UnusualPete
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2020
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My boss told me as a security guard its my job to watch the office.

I am on season 6 so far, but not sure what it has got to do with security.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2019
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What’s a mummy’s favorite type of investment security?

Cryptocurrency.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BluPrince
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2020
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They’ve upgraded the security to hall monitors
πŸ‘οΈŽ 179
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tobias_and_his_Tinny
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 15 2019
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Security professionals advise to never use β€˜beef stew’ as a password

It isn’t stroganoff

πŸ‘οΈŽ 422
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mr-m-meeseeks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2020
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What do you call a security guard for a trampoline?

A bouncer

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Chonqme
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 15 2020
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A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building. Security stops him and says,

There are no firearms allowed in this building.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2019
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I was recently promoted on the supermarket security team to look out for people taking 11 items through the "10 items or less" checkout...

I am now a counter-terrorism officer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/E420CDI
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2020
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It's a security monitor. imgur.com/tSzAsd5
πŸ‘οΈŽ 52
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/daymanahaha
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2019
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I always have heavy security at my far-left political rallies...

No one should ever have unprotected sects.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shercroft
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2020
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I had a job selling Front Door Security devices...

but I got fired because I’m not really a PEEPHOLE person.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2020
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My neighbor sells home security systems, he's pretty good at it too.

If nobody's home, he just leaves a brochure on the kitchen table

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22 2020
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I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security

They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/knittingmonster
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2020
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I have two dogs, Security & Shin...

... they’re my guard dogs πŸ•

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rachelsfriendfriend
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2020
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I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk

It shall be a security gourd

πŸ‘οΈŽ 63
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brad_Barracuda
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2019
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Increasing security
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/luckiest0522
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02 2019
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I met the world’s greatest security guard the other day. When I asked him the secret, he said it was all in his name.

Barry R.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DenialTwister
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2020
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Okay so recently I sued a airport about luggage security

Yeah, I lost my case.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Thor_kingofasgard
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2019
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Did you hear about the Goth computer security specialist?

He was hackin' in a coffin.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/superceder
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2019
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I called my boss to tell her I couldn’t get the security system to arm as I locked up the office tonight

She seemed unalarmed...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sockyg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2019
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What do you call the security outside of a SAMSUNG store?

Guardian of the galaxy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zayer96
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2020
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What do you call Security at Samsung?

The Guardians of the Galaxy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11 2020
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What do you call Samsung’s security team?

Guardians of the Galaxy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sportznut1000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2020
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Do you know what they call the security guards at Samsung?

Guardians of the Galaxy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/detrickster
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 15 2018
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My boss told me as a security guard its my job to watch the office

I'm on season 6 so far, but not sure what its got to do with security.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 539
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Automated-Waffles
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18 2019
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What do you call a security guard at a samsung store

Guardian of the Galaxy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 66
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-_Anirban_-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 18 2019
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What do you call the security at a Samsung factory.

Guardians of the galaxy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/J4KE95
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2019
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What do you call the security guards at the Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Samuelcbadams
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2019
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What does Trump's security tell him when he is attacked?

Donald, Duck

πŸ‘οΈŽ 113
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CaptainOverKill16
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 17 2019
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What do you call the security guards outside a Samsung factory?

Guardians of the Galaxy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2019
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What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?

>!Guardians of the Galaxy.!<

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07 2019
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