Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".
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︎ Sep 22 2020
What does the invisible man have in the middle of his face?
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︎ Sep 27 2020
I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.
It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".
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︎ Nov 11 2020
My girlfriend grabbed a hand full of coins and slapped me in the face.
About time she slapped some cents into me.
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︎ Jun 21 2020
What is it called when a bunch of people in face coverings leave a building?
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︎ Aug 04 2020
What did the monk say when he saw the face of Jesus in a margarine tub?
I can't believe it's not Buddah.
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︎ Jun 20 2020
My buddy, Evan, just got acquitted of all charges that he was imprinting his face in the foundation of a local housing project.
They couldn't find any concrete Evan dents.
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︎ Jun 17 2020
Have you all heard about the monk who claimed to see the face of jesus in a tub of margarine?
He said βi cant believe its not Buddhaβ
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︎ Dec 20 2019
Why are noses in the middle of your face?
Because theyβre the scenter.
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︎ Sep 26 2019
The most emotional part of my wedding wasn't the vows or the speeches - it was getting cake smashed in my face.
Really brought a tier to my eye.
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︎ May 01 2020
How many pennies in a roll of pennies have a Lincoln face?
It's actually one per cent.
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︎ Mar 25 2020
I just fell face first in to a pile of herbs..
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︎ Apr 17 2020
I saw a guy on the train holding a newspaper in front of his face.
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︎ Mar 09 2020
Most people think the name Dracula cough comes from the way dracula would hold his Cape in front of his face
In reality it's because he is an expert in coffin
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︎ Mar 11 2020
My daughter asked me, "Dad, why is your nose in the middle of your face?"
I smirked and replied, "Because it's the scenter."
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︎ Nov 02 2017
βDad, did you know that one out of four kids in the world still faces hunger?β
Dad: Someone should immediately turn that kid around.
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︎ Nov 23 2019
A bunch of boxers are waiting in a queue to hit a man in the face
The punchline is in the title
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︎ Sep 29 2019
Son: Dad, did you know that 1 out of 5 children in the world still face hunger?
Dad: Why isnβt anybody turning the 5th kid around?
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︎ Jun 15 2019
People get really upset when I run up to them in the street, and try to make plaster casts of their faces.
At least thatβs the impression I get.
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︎ Jun 25 2018
I was in denial of my grandma dying until the wake. But then I saw her face.
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︎ Dec 13 2018
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because that's the scenter.
Thanks Laffy taffy for the terrible joke.
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︎ Aug 06 2015
Two vampire bats in a cave, one goes out in search of fresh blood in the local village, and comes back with a face covered in red blood. His friend says "what did you eat to get all that?" The first bat replies:
"You see that steeple on that church over there? Yeah, I hit it."
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︎ Dec 14 2018
My Dad got the milk out of the fridge and starting waving it back and forth in front of my face...
Dad: What's that?
Me: I don't know
Dad: It's past-your-eyes milk
Me: Groans
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︎ Feb 25 2015
Why is your nose in the middle of your face ?
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︎ May 19 2020
Why does your nose grow in the middle of your face?
Because itβs the scenter
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︎ Sep 12 2020
Your nose is in the middle of your face because itβs the scenter
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︎ Jan 16 2020
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because itβs the scenter
π︎ 14
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︎ Jun 25 2020
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because itβs the scenter
π︎ 66
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︎ Apr 13 2020
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
π︎ 16
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︎ May 15 2020
What did the monk say when he saw the face of Jesus in his margarine tub?
I can't believe it's not buddha
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︎ Dec 22 2019
My daughter asked me, "Dad, why is your nose in the middle of your face?"
I smirked and replied, "Because it's the scenter!"
π︎ 46
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︎ May 19 2019
Why are noses in the middle of your face?
Because theyβre the scenter.
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︎ Sep 26 2019
Why is your nose in the middle of your face??
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︎ Sep 22 2017
Why is the nose in the middle of your face?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 19 2019
My son once asked me: "Dad, why is my nose in the middle of my face?
I replied: "Well son, it's because it's the scenter!"
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︎ Mar 16 2019
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
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︎ Jun 11 2019
Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because itβs the scenter.
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︎ Mar 19 2019
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it is the scenter.
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︎ Dec 10 2018
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
π︎ 12
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︎ Dec 18 2018
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 29 2018
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
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︎ May 01 2017
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
π︎ 36
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︎ Aug 20 2017
Why are noses in the middle of our face?
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︎ May 19 2016
Why are noses in the middle of all faces?
Because itβs the scenter
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︎ Sep 27 2018
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
π︎ 24
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︎ Dec 29 2017
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