In which part of Canada are you not allowed to do anything?
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︎ Feb 14 2021
What kind of batteries do they use in Canada?
π︎ 124
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︎ Oct 07 2020
My daughter got me a βCanada β sweater for Christmas... I asked why since we live in the USA?
βItβs aspirational β she said.
Ooooof...
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︎ Dec 26 2020
If you commit a 1st degree murder in Canada
is it a 34 degree murder in the US?
π︎ 500
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︎ Aug 20 2020
What do you call alcoholics anonymous in Canada?
π︎ 33
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︎ Oct 24 2020
What's the most common blood type in Canada?
π︎ 38
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︎ Oct 21 2020
What kind of gun is common in Canada?
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 01 2020
In response to the American coin shortage, Canada has committed to providing the U.S. aid
π︎ 33
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︎ Jul 30 2020
I was taking my children on a tour of the largest territory in Canada, but they kept acting up so I turned around and went home.
My wife was mad about it, but I don't care! I was having Nunavut!
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︎ Jul 12 2020
In Canada, you are more likely to die of a moose kick than of a terrorist attack.
π︎ 9k
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︎ Dec 23 2018
What was hockey called before it became popular in Canada?
π︎ 10
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︎ Apr 11 2020
What do Canada and Mexico have in common?
They have us in the middle.
π︎ 2
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︎ May 26 2020
What is the leading cause of liver disease in Canada?
π︎ 21
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︎ Feb 27 2020
Someone told me Yukon is the largest territory in Canada
π︎ 12
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︎ Feb 16 2020
Seen in Canada.
π︎ 287
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︎ Mar 13 2018
Canada wan't originally supposed to have a C in it's name
But then they wanted anada letter
π︎ 30
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︎ Dec 04 2019
One day in the near future, Canada will take over the world.
And then we will all be sorry.
π︎ 505
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︎ May 30 2018
Today is Boxing Day in the UK, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia. Do you know when Boxing Day is celebrated in the United States?
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 26 2019
I was thinking about eating wild animals in Canada.
Sometimes I think it is a big moose steak.
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 13 2019
Iβm currently in Montreal, Canada and just found this place across the street. I wonder if they serve Russian style poutines?
π︎ 4
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︎ May 16 2019
In Canada, they use the more appropriate βB.C.Eβ instead of βB.C.β
It stands for βBefore Christ, Eh?β
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 11 2019
Canada recently passed legislation that will ban keeping or breeding whales and dolphins in captivity
Guess you can say marineland has lost its porpoise
π︎ 8
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︎ Jun 14 2019
Whats TSA called in Canada?
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 24 2018
One my friends is studying in New Zealand and her boyfriend is studying in Canada. I told this to someone and remarked on how romantic it would be for them to date on the International date line .
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 07 2019
My friend caught hypothermia while painting outdoor scenes in Northern Canada.
Everyone thinks he needed a second coat.
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︎ Mar 13 2019
How do we find out who is the worst Dad joke guy in Canada?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 18 2019
In Canada, we are so progressive and accepting that even our highway is Trans.
π︎ 74
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︎ Aug 13 2017
Went to pick something up for my friends 25th whilst in Canada but I could only find cards with incomplete slogans..
Iβm sure heβd be okay with a card that said βHappy Birthdβ, eh?
π︎ 2
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︎ May 26 2019
My wife was yelling and upset with me that I couldn't figure out the exact route to her parents house in Canada from our place in Ohio.
I told her it was border line abuse.
π︎ 9
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︎ Aug 31 2018
You know in Canada you don't have to fully spell out "we had" any more
Because they recently made "we'd" legal
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 20 2018
My brother in law just moved to Canada
He canβt work until he gets his permanent residency.
My wife said, βmaybe he could move pianos for cash, under the table.β
Her dad said, βitβs hard enough moving pianos, hows he going to move them under a table?β
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︎ Oct 08 2018
A man walks into a bar in Canada...
The bar tender says, "What can I do for ya eh?"
To which the man replies, "How's aboot a pint of lager?"
The bartender hands him his beer. The man then asks, pointing at a crying Russian man at the opposite end of the bar, "What's the deal with him?"
"Him? Oh, that's just Vladimir Putin."
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︎ Oct 16 2016
Why are ball-based sports illegal in Canada?
Because then it would be cannibalism.
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 22 2018
This Wednesday, pot is becoming legal here in Canada. For people ranking international travel destinations,
Canada should be high in your list of priorities.
π︎ 12
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︎ Oct 14 2018
With the legalization of recreational marijuana in Canada...
A lot more people will be saying they have friends in high places.
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 17 2018
If the US and Canada cant come to an agreement on NAFTA, we are in trouble. Transfer speeds are going to plummet
Without a US BC connection.
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 01 2018
I bought some adhesive bandages in Canada.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 01 2017
Did you hear about the guy who was sick and tired of living in northern Canada?
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︎ Jun 09 2015
In Canada the mountains arenβt just funny
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 16 2018
Did you hear about that new fast food chain in Canada?
π︎ 25
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︎ Aug 08 2017
Proud moment at Thanksgiving dinner tonight. (yes it's Thanksgiving in Canada - TYL)...
My daughter (13) hates listening to my Dad jokes all the time (down deep she really loves them)
So tonight at dinner I said, wow I'm so stuffed and she says, oh probably from all the stuffing eh!? She then says, oh god I'm turning into you! βΊοΈ
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 09 2017
During a trip to Canada, I participated in a maple syrup collecting workshop
I wasn't too confident in my tree identification skills, but my instructor said "Oak, aye.". My syrup sure did taste funny though.
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︎ Jan 27 2018
What does a Mexican put on his steak in Canada?
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 14 2017
My buddy dropped this great line after I told him about the "Canada In Our Pockets" song.
Me: "You know what bothers me? We (Canadians) can't sing the "Canada In Our Pockets" song anymore because we can't say the lines "-A penny and a nickle and a quarter and a dime." We don't have pennies anymore :(
Him: Hmm, I guess your right. That just doesn't make any cents.
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︎ Feb 20 2014
The other day my dad was driving down a highway in Canada and there was a cow in the middle of the highway blocking traffic...
Transport trucks were slamming on their breaks and cars were backed up. My dad pulled over and called 911, in which he explained the situation and said "I think you should come and have them remooooooved."
π︎ 6
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︎ Apr 17 2017
I tried spreading some puns around in Canada...
...but they were having Nunavut.
π︎ 12
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︎ Aug 21 2014
Some day in the near future, Canada will take over the world.
And then we will all be sorry.
π︎ 214
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︎ Sep 09 2018
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