I keep imagining I’m holding an invisible pack of cards.
No one knows what I’m dealing with.
It's weird being colorblind in an art gallery. Everything's a pigment of the imagination.
Can you imagine running into a Greek Gorgon?
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight
There would be mass confusion.
Imagine the waters being filled with orange flavoured soda
Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.
wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.
Imagine a form of public transportation where there is no monetary fee but you relive past mistakes for as long as you are a passenger
Imagine how stressful it would be to be a ski.
I mean, there’s so much pressure on you all the time.s
Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you.
I like to imagine that the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella'....
Imagine you're in a pitch dark room and you have no idea how to escape.
Elon Musk and Bill Gates teamed up and created an erectile dysfunction pill.
I imagine when Microsoft's co-founder Mr.Gates gets a suit tailored, they must fit him perfectly.
They have to fit the Bill.
I overdosed on Viagra once....
Imagine the Titanic with a lisp
Imagine how tired Michelangelo was by the time he had finished painting..
I had a dream that I invented a new color
But when I woke up I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.
"Honey, who might bee at the front door?"
Whenever I go to bed I imagine I'm a cop
I have a serious question...
So imagine you are transexual but suddenly one day you decide to stop being it. Then you are Trans former?
Can you just imagine how pterosaurs felt seeing that meteor entering the earths atmosphere?
Can you imagine if your dog was an undercover reporter?
They’d be able to dig up so much dirt on you.
If alcohol can damage your short term memory
Imagine the damage alcohol can do.
Imagine if vampires had blunt teeth and couldn't bite you
My son came up to me and said that a bug was flying around his room, my wife said that he just imagined it.
I said that is justaflyable.
This is (practically) the corniest gift imaginable. At the bottom of the soon to be gift wrapped box of corniness was a pair of Korn tickets for my lady...who enjoys my corny puns.
A farmer said to me “I have 68 sheep. Can you help round them up for me?”
Told my wife I was quitting my job today to become an electrician
Can't imagine someone not understanding what erectile dysfunction is
Her: Honey can you pick up some milk
Him:* lifts gallon * done
Her: no from the store
Him: I imagine it weighs the same there too
Imagine eating a clock...
That would be time consuming...
I went to see a psychiatrist to get over my crippling fear of palindromes.
The bastard put me on Xanax!
Not cool Dad...not cool
So my dad's telling my relatives the story of how my mom was in labor for 12 hours so they named me 'Laura' which if you say it in Vietnamese accent it's 'Lau-ra' which means "Long time to come out"...
IMAGINE FINDING OUT AFTER 21 YEARS YOUR NAME IS A FUCKING PUN ..
Name woes... translation: imagine the difficulty when she is ashes what her name is by French people..
I keep imagining I'm holding an invisible pack of cards.
No one knows what I'm dealing with.
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight
There would be mass confusion
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight
There would be a mass confusion
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms over night
There would be MASS confusion
Imagine if America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There'd be mass confusion.
Imagine the titanic with a lisp..
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There would be a mass confusion
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