I asked my boss to donate to support Asian children with terminal illnesses.
He hasn’t responded yet, but when he does I’ll find out if he supports youth in Asia.
What's the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running, but can’t remember where.
Why did your mom allow you to be exposed to preventable illnesses?
Because they're not Karen for you
Whoever thought it was a good idea to make a lower case L and and upper case i look the same must have been Ill.
My sister becomes physically ill when I burn her toast.
It turns out she's black-toast-intilerant.
My doctor asked me if anyone suffers from mental illness in my family
I said "no we all seem to enjoy it!"
I can always tell when I'm about to fall ill
Who can drink 5 litres of petrol and not get ill?
Grandma Jokes anyone? Hit me with your best dad jokes for my Grandma who loves dumb jokes and needs some laughs
I hope this type of post is allowed!
I am going to visit my grandma this Tuesday to say goodbye to her. She is 87 and very ill, she is mentally still with it but in a lot of pain. She sounds at peace, I think she is just doing her best to hang on til we can get to her.
My grandma loves stupid jokes, dad jokes, puns, all that stuff. I’d love to share some laughs with her when I say goodbye. Hit me with your favorite and dumbest dad jokes and I will share the best ones with her.
Thank you Reddit fam!
Lobotomy is the solution for all mental illness.
There once was a record store. The owner was seventy-four. One day he fell ill then wrote in his will , “bury me with records galore”
It was his vinyl resting place
Disarming Skeleton in DnD
Dm: You walk into a room full of skeletons holding onto rusted weapons
Friend #1: Ok.... Uhhhh... Lets disarming the skeletons b4 they come alive.
Friend #2:Good idea, Ill grab the one with the spear.
Friend #3:Ill grab the one with the swords.
Me: and ill grab their arms :>
Friends and DM: -_-
Did you hear about the thief on the run for stealing laundry detergent?
…he’s wanted for his ill-begotten Gain
What kind of sick bird breaks the law?
An ill eagle
(Credit to my first grader 😊)
Ill give ya
First one to upvote and comment gets my free reward
The wife's mother was taken ill...
So I swiftly rushed off to find a pen and paper to write for an ambulance.
I told my friend his ‘hundred eggs in five days’ diet made me deathly ill.
He told me that was an eggsaturation.
What's a schizophrenic's favorite Christmas song?
I always know when my pals are going to be ill...
‘Cos I’m a forensic expert
I was tricked into buying an ill-fitting shirt while on vacation in a city in France.
A year ago, I got a subscription to a magazine for mentally ill people.
I knew a drug addict that was so desperate for a high he snorted curry powder. Got really ill and taken to hospital.
He was put in an induced korma.
This is an ill eagle image. (Don't worry, he's much better now.)
A joke is like an illness,
Because not everyone will get it.
This was at my high school
Ill always remember what my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket.
"Hey son you wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
My monkey friend says that he can use martial arts to fight off disease. I think he's tricking me and he says
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out
When your horoscope says you are going to fall ill this month
It's more of a horror scope
When Hurricane Dorian hits Florida, I'm going to check out my window for the clouds to get really grey. When they're at peak greyness I'll take a picture. That way Ill always have The Picture of Dorian Grey.
Illustrations like these are gene-rally ill-conceived eggsagerations
My friend had both his legs amputated and I get ill when I go near him.
I think that I might be lacktoes intolerant.
What illness goes well with the Corona Virus?
BREAKING: North Korean Leader in vegetative state following surgery.
They're going to start calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
The Norwegian currency has taken ill.
It’s got the Kroner virus.
I fall sick every time I try to journal
I must be allergic to diary
People who abuse steroids have ill-gotten gains
My doctor asked me why I missed my appointment yesterday?
During my trip to Madrid I was staying at this small motel when I grew pretty ill. Thankfully the people at the front desk sent the on call doctor over and he was able to fix me up real quick. I told him I didn't expect such a small place to have such a good doctor, to which he told me
Nobody expects the Spanish Inn Physician
So i visited a neurologic clinic that, between other mental illness, treats Alzheimer patients. This was their main lobby's painting.
My doctor asked me if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness?
I said "NO, We all seem to enjoy it. "
My doctor asked me if anyone in my family suffers from mental illness?
I said, "NO, We all seem to enjoy it."
When is it against the law to have a sick bird?
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