Why do I feel healthy on Saturdays and Sundays, and so sickly for all the other days ?
Maybe, I just have a weekend immune system.
What did one sickly elevator say to another?
I think I'm coming down with something.
My wife said she'd divorce me if I kept making sickness puns.
I did nausea saying something like that.
[META](x-post from r/science) The curse of dadjokes.
I was amazed to learn that making awful jokes could turn into a disease. I thought this subreddit might be interested.
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20160308-the-curse-of-the-people-who-cant-stop-making-puns
Sorry I couldn't think of a sick pun for this post.
Her: I’m leaving. I am sick of you wearing a different t shirt every half an hour.
Why don’t ant colonies ever get sick?
.... because they’re full of anty bodies
My wife just broke up with me. She's sick and tired of my constant Zodiac puns.
It Taurus apart. I'm in Pisces typing this.
Sick of everyone’s swiney comments about my ring
My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days
I said it must be my weekend immune system
What did the skeleton do when he got sick?
I think my dad's getting sick of the Bernie memes. He also did not appreciate my response.
Why don’t ants get sick?
Because they have little anty-bodies.
Edit: THANK YOU!! Kind stranger whoever you are out there, for the silver!! Just trying to keep the kids facepalming and the wives eye rolling. You guys are awesome!
[At dinner] Her: I think we need to break up. For starters, I’m sick of your awful jokes at the worst times.
Me: Ok, and for the main course?
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.
It must be the high Mercury content.
Why does my wife always check the kids temperature when they're sick?
Because the therdadeter doesn't work near as well.
Did you know that ants never get sick?
It's because they have little Anty Bodies
As an immune deficient person, anti vaxxers make me sick
Asked my friends if they could drink 5 litres of fuel and not be sick. Turned out.....
Guy's doctor tells him he's sick. He says "I want a second opinion."
Doc says "Okay, you're ugly too."
Did you hear Santa got really sick from going down the chimney?
Yeah, they think he caught the flue.
Why do vampires seem sick?
Schools today are serious about keeping sickness away. They even sent the espresso home today.
Because it was a little coffee.
Where in Europe are you most likely to get sick?
When he found out I was sick, my friend messaged me, hoping that I will quickly find a deep hole in a ground full of water.
I'm happy he wished me to get well soon.
I’m sick of having great little ideas all the time, I think I have...
The vet told me my parrot was sick...
...he has chirpes.
'What's that?'
'It's a cararial disease... and, by the way, it's untweetable.'
What antibiotic does a sick Italian take?
What do you call a sick bird from Mars?
What does Kanye West wear when he is sick?
Boyfriend is sick of my shit lol
"Daddy, is my pony sick?"
"No sweetie, She's just a little horse."
In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.
Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.
All credit goes to my coworker.
The boat is sick
We gotta take it to the dock.
How Did Louis Pasteur Know You Can Get Sick From Germs in the Mississippi?
He was a scholar of bayou chemistry.
Where does a horse go when it gets sick ?
A horse-pital.
Ha. Ha. Just kidding....They get shot.
What island in Thailand has the most sick people?
Where do Peek A Boos go when they get sick?
I got sick at this small hotel in Madrid.
I got sick at this small hotel in Madrid.
I called the front desk and they told me they had a doctor on staff.
After he made me feel better, I told him I was amazed that such a small place had a doctor.
He nodded and said "NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INN PHYSICIAN!!!!
Why don't cows get sick?
They have a good immooon system
My horse is sick with COVID.
But don’t worry, he’s in stable condition.
Who can drink 10 litres of petrol and not get sick?
My boss said, “I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”
I said, “It must be my weekend immune system.”
Why don’t ants get sick
Because they have Ant-ibodies
Boss: I find it highly suspicious that you are sick only on weekdays.
Me: It must be my weakened immune system.
Why don't ants get sick
Because they have little antibodies
My boss asked why I only get sick on work days
I said it must be my weekend immune system
I get sick on work days only
Because I have a weekend immune system
What do you call a sick eagle?
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